BEN BOYKEWICH
by BlackStreak1
Summary: Ben has endured much since he started highschool, many of those events have changed him. But he will have to endure so much more before he is finished.
1. BEN BOYKEWICH A BROKEN MAN

I do not own anything, none of the characters portrayed in this story or the stories afterward. This all belongs to Brenda Hampton, well everything but the plot.

"_BEN BOYKEWICH A BROKEN MAN"_

Ben slowly looked down at the body lying next to him and smiled. This was nice he thought to himself. To finally be close to someone without wondering if he could fall in love or if the issue of sex would ever come up, perhaps he could have his "one good year" after all. "So what's on your mind?," Dylan asked staring up at him. Oh, I'm just thinking about what my plans are for the rest of the day, and you. Well I was suppose to hang out with my family, but those plans could change if someone made me a better offer. Really, so what did you have in mind. Nothing special I was thinking since the town near by has a movie theatre that plays old movies we could take a short break . I. mean it's the least you owe me since we slept together, literally.

You're right maybe we should explore that option. But, I have to get my friend and I think he may be little mad at me after last night. Really, why? Well, I asked him to keep an eye on someone for me last night, and he is going through a break up. Was he supposed to keep an eye on the girl you were dancing with last night. Yeah, she and I are going through a bit of a break up of our own, and I didn't want her to be alone, she can be a bit of a loose cannon if left too her own devices. Well, if that's the case I don't think she had a problem last night I saw her and your friend making out in one of the rooms in back, and it looked pretty heavy. WHAT! Ben said eyes glaring as rage began building in his head. NO, you must be mistaken Henry would never do something like that, especially not with Adrian. I'm sorry Ben, but I wasn't drinking last night and my vision wasn't blurry so I know what I saw. Dylan do you mind if I take rain check on our little movie date I have to get some things settled. Sure, and I'm sorry if I said anything to upset you. No, you didn't say anything, But, someone else did do something, or may have done something that does upset me. Ben, got up and straightened his clothes and went on a search of he house for Henry.

Henry got up from the bed as both Jack and Alice left. He couldn't figure out how last night happened. At first it started so innocently, Ben came up to him and asked him to keep an eye on Adrian he feared she would do something she would regret, and he would have done it himself but he didn't want to ruin his own chances with Dylan. Being the loyal friend he agreed. He found Adrian in the kitchen eating a few pretzels and drinking some punch. He walked up to her and asked how she was doing. After that they both began talking and dancing. Then she began to asking him why he decided to break up with Alice. After he confessed his reasons she began looking at him with an aroused look in her eye. Before he knew it he was in the bedroom making out with her and pleading with her to stop. She only continued her assault on his lips, and rubbing and touching him like Alice had never done.

He tried to break free, but it felt too good. This was ADRIAN LEE, the hottest girl at GRANT HIGH and here she was doing it with him, so he just let the moment pass. The next morning he awoke with Adrian and Jack in the room and having his senses come back to him. Yeah, she was Adrian Lee alright the girl that is always at the centre of several relationship downfalls. As Alice left the room he quickly regretted the events of last night and slowly waited for the hell that would be the end of his friendship with BEN. Sorry, Adrian said as she finished getting dressed, and began to leave. Sorry, you know what this means. Ben will kill me and you for what happened. Well, he might forgive you if you just let him know it was my fault. Are you kidding, Henry said. Ben is my best friend heck he's my only friend and I do this to him why did we do that. Well, Adrian said in monotone voice I was lonely last night and so were you, so we both decided to stop being lonely together.

It doesn't matter, you're his WIFE ADRIAN. Yeah, his soon to be EX-WIFE. Not to mention if he really didn't want anything to happen last night he would have stayed instead of leaving with that little red headed slut last night. Adrian, he does care. He asked me to find you last night. He wanted me to keep you company so you didn't do anything CRAZY and look what happened. Well, you didn't seem to mind last night, Adrian retorted. You, are UNBELIEVABLE you know that. DID YOU EVEN LOVE BEN AT ALL. Here he was yesterday admitting to me that he still had feelings for you and here you are just acting like sleeping with his best friend is NO BIG DEAL. What? Adrian said almost apologetically. Ben, still has feelings for me. He was still wearing his wedding ring Adrian. You know what I'm glad now that last night happened, because now maybe he will see you for what you really are a SLUT and WHORE!. Well what does that make you, Ben said as he walked into the room and attacked Henry.

Ben Boykewich had never been a fighter he never believed in violence. For one he was never very strong, not very good with pain, and was not very good at fighting. The one time he did fight someone, was for Amy Jeurgen's honor and it ended horribly with a black eye, busted lip and cracked rib. But, right now the only thing he could see is red, the red of anger toward a man who he has known since he was in the first grade. The man that was more like a brother to him than anyone he had ever known. He remembered when they were eleven and he and Henry talked about which one should date Alice. They both were in love with her and she with both of them, but only one could have her. But, Ben remembered all the times Henry had been there for him, like when he came up to him and ate lunch in the cafeteria with him when no one else would. Even when his mom died. So he gave up all claims to Alice because even though they both loved and wanted her he always thought Henry was the better man. Until, right now. He thought about that as he held Henry to the ground and began to pummel his fists into Henry.

It was at this point that Adrian ran outside and got Jack and Ricky to try and restrain the young prince from his assault. Although Jack was muscular and Ricky himself was no stranger to the gym they both found it hard to pry Ben off of Henry. As, Grace, Alice, Amy, Adrian, and Lauren looked on at Ben, none was more surprised at this assault than Adrian, who never realized the depth of Ben's rage. As both Jack and Ricky held Ben back, and Henry was let up by Griffin, they could tell that Ben did some damage. Henry's mouth and nose were all bloody, as well as a cut above his eye. Ben, quietly settled his beating heart and temper as Ricky and Jack began to release their grip on their calming infuriated friend. How could you was all Ben said as he looked to both Adrian and Henry. Both looked at him with shame and disgust. Ben snatched his arms from Jack and Ricky's restraint and headed outside to his car. Alice rushed after him, trying to calm her now even more broken friend. Henry was led out to Griffin's car as he needed a doctor to look over his wounds. While Grace; Amy; and even Lauren looked objectively at a now teary eyed Adrian.


	2. THE THRILL IS GONE

**Chapter 2: THE THRILL IS GONE**

* * *

**_BEN BOYEKEWICH THE THRILL IS GONE_**

Ben went to his car angry, enraged, and most of all heart broken. He never realized how much he still loved Adrian until he saw her pulling on her clothes with his best friend sitting on the bed, after they just had sex. He couldn't believe he could feel so hurt and betrayed till that moment. He looked at his hands bruised and bloody from his assault on Henry, but he didn't mind the pain that he felt from them. He was lost now in his own world where it seemed everything and everyone was against him.

It was at that moment that Alice came from the house yelling for him to stop. He turned and faced his friend, and let a tear roll down his now red eyes. Ben, please don't go and do something stupid she said with a similar look on her face. Alice, he said with a muffled voice full of pain as if he were fighting himself from screaming. I already did, something stupid. I trusted Hank, and I fell in love, with the wrong woman and married them twice. I don't think I can do anything else more stupid for the rest of my life. He then turned opened his car door, started his silver Mercedes and drove away..

He didn't drive very far when he saw an im-pass leading to a small secluded section of road. He slowly turned his car into the section and drove half a mile until he stopped and surveyed the area to ensure he had not been followed . He then got out of his car looked around and screamed. He screamed what felt, and sounded like a wild animal hurt in the woods. He placed his hands on his head moved them through his hair as he let tears fall from his eyes.

He dropped to his knees and imagined all what Adrian and Henry had done, which made his pain feel worse. He remembered how he himself had done those very things with Adrian. He remembered asking her to marry him, and how she told him she loved him that day. He remembered Hank sitting at the diner and telling him that he needed him as a friend and to stay away from Alice. He remembered Adrian and how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress.

He remembered Hank and Alice sleeping in is room, the night they talked him into spending the first night with Adrian. He remembered calling her, and asking if her invitation to stay the night was still open. How she was shocked when she said she would wait up for him only to find him waiting at her front door. How all that night she tossed and turned and then placing his hand on her shoulder, only to move closer to him and rest so comfortably. He remembered the first time they made love in the nursery since the night they conceived Mercy. All those memories flooded to him and were erased in that image of she and Hank having sex.

Ben, then rested himself against the door of his car, and just waited. For what he was unsure, and why was still a mystery. He sat down and held his keys in his hands and played with them. He then took his wedding ring from his pocket, and played with it. Strange he thought as he began to roll it between his fingers and looked at it. Adrian was the one who chose the wedding bands, she even paid for them with her own money. They were made of titanium and laced in white gold, she said that was how strong she wanted their marriage to be. In the middle of the ring was an engraving which read, "MY HUSBAND BENNY NOW & 4 EVA".

Well he thought forever doesn't last always. He got up and balled the ring in his fists, he held it and was about to throw it away when he caught himself. He tried, but couldn't throw it away. Why he thought to himself. Why me. I can't have one little thing. I couldn't have Amy, and John. I did so much to prove myself so WHY! Why couldn't I keep them. Because they were Ricky's family he thought. So why couldn't I have Adrian, and Mercy. They were mine. I loved them both. Why couldn't I have my family. Was it because of what I said to Amy. Was it because I slept with Adrian to get back at Amy and Ricky.

Was it because I yelled at Adrian, and ran. WHY!. No matter what I do it seems as if I am meant to have nothing. I wanted to stay with her last night. I wanted to make our marriage work. I just was so angry, and sad that we lost Mercy, I wanted the pain to stop. But, this is too much. I just don't know what I can do.

Ben, stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. He would have continued to stay like that had it not been from the ringing of his phone with his father's signature tone. Ben got up opened his car door and sent the call to voice mail. As he did this he scanned though several calls he had already missed. Four were from Grace, two were from Amy, one was from Ricky, and the last was a text message from Adrian which read.

**TO BEN: I am so sorry I was just drunk & embarrassed from what happened with Ricky, and when you left I just needed to forget about what happened. Please forgive Henry even if you cannot forgive me, I don't deserve it. But, he does he is your best friend and he is truly sorry. Please call me or someone to let us know you are OK.**

At the bottom there was a heart, yeah he thought typical Adrian. He turned his phone off and got back behind the wheel of his car and pulled back onto the main road. As he began to drive he noticed a gas station by the road and pulled in. As he got out of the car he looked through his wallet and pulled out fifty dollars and went inside. An elderly man by the age of sixty or more sat behind the counter, as Ben made his way to the freezer and pulled out a six pack of beer.

As Ben made his way to the counter the old man looked at him and said I'm pretty sure you aren't 21 so put it back and we can forget about it. Ben laid a twenty down on the counter and said does this make me 21. The old man looked at him and said NO this makes you eligible to get arrested by a city official. I might own the gas station and work here but I am also the county coroner, and I have seen enough dead bodies of kids like you from drunk driving to last the rest of your life time now get out of here.

As Ben took his money and made his way back to his car he breathed heavily, of all the times he needed a drink this would be it. As he walked back a younger guy around 24 made his way to his car and asked if he needed anything to take the edge off. As Ben looked at the man questionably he asked like what. You know a little pick you up if you know what I mean. How do I know you aren't a cop he asked.

Does a cop carry all this he said as he showed Ben a row of joints and dime bags, pills and powders hidden in his duffle bag. Sure he said le me buy some off you. The guy removed two joints from his bag and a dime and handed them to Ben. Here these should do you since you look like you could use them, and you look like a beginner. And here is a book of matches on the house since you are a new customer. Ben handed the guy a twenty placed the joints in his shirt pocket and began to heads toward home.

As Henry got out of Griffin's car he thanked them for their help, and headed inside his home. His face hurt as well as is head, but the doctor gave him a clean bill of health and advised him to avoid whatever truck that hit him. As he walked through the door his father, mother, and Alice were waiting on him as he opened the door and looked as though they would continue the beating Ben had given him. Mom, Dad let me explain he said as he closed the door. Henry, his father said in a cool yet harsh tone go to your room.

But, Dad, Henry right now we don't want to hear a word of what you are going to say. Alice already informed us of everything, and Leo has just called to find out your well being and chip in on the medical bills. I let him know it was unnecessary because in my opinion for what you have done you deserve worse. BUT, DAD Henry said in shock. Henry right now for what you have done to your two best friends has never made me feel more disappointed in you as I do right now.

Wait, can I talk to him in private please, as Alice spoke up. Very well, Mr. Alvarez said as he left the room. Hank looks at Alice and is about to speak, when he feels a sharp and powerful pain against his eye , and falls to the floor from Alice's punch. He rubs his eye and asks what the fuck Alice. Oww, screamed Alice as she rubs her hand.

SHUT UP! She yells as Hank begins to get up off the floor. Stay down there Henry because you definitely do not want to get knocked back down again. He looks at her still nursing his eye and stays sitting on the floor. WHY HENRY, she asked? Why her? Why last night? She asks with tears rolling down her face. I don't know we were drunk and it seemed innocent, he exclaimed. Innocent you call sleeping with BEN'S WIFE INNOCENT. You know, I know how much she means to him and you do this.

Didn't you think he was hurt by all that has happened enough! Did you do this to hurt me or something, was I that bad of a girlfriend that you had to sleep that SLUT who married our best friend! Alice, he said. SHUT UP replied Alice I don't want to hear another word from you. TEN YEARS HANK, ten years we have all been friends and you go and stab our best friend in the heart while he was still bleeding. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHOSE YOU OVER BEN ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU TOUCH ME WITH THAT TINY DICK OF YOURS. I HOPE SHE GAVE YOU AN STD OR SOMETHING. You did use protection didn't you. WELL! Alice asked. Can I speak now. Of course. Yes we used protection. I SAID SHUT UP! As she hit Hank one more time and stormed out.

At that moment Ben pulled into the drive way of his home and parked his car in the garage. He carefully hid the two joints in his pocket and opened the front door hoping make his way to is room unnoticed. He had no such luck as his father stood on the other side of the door. Ben, he said looking worried about him and grasping him in a hug. As he hugged his son, Ben began to feel him sniffing at his clothes and his breath. No, DAD I haven't been drinking, I promise. I know son, but after what happened at the party.

I thought, Leo said with worry in his voice. Dad, I'm not going to lie I almost did get drunk luckily there was an old guy that refused to sell it to me behind the counter, so I guess there are still some old school fathers like you left in the world. That's good to hear, said Leo. But where have you been all this time. Dad, I'll let you know later right now I just want to get up to my room shower, and be left alone for a while. Ben. DAD! Shouted Ben let me just do this I really need to be alone for a while. Alright said Leo.

As Ben went up the stairs the door bell rang and Leo walks over to answer it. There standing at the door looking more broken and guilty than she ever had before stood Adrian Lee, with glassy eyes. As Leo stood there he looked at Adrian and remained calm, he felt sorry for Adrian for having to endure so much in her short young life. From having an absent mother, no father, and to be used by so many boys. Only too lose her child, Ben's child, his grand child to a still birth.

But, right now he had no sympathy for her. His son who although had his faults really did love Adrian, and didn't deserve to be hurt by her in that way. She looked up at him and could tell that after all she had meant to him as a daughter in law even he began to resent her now. Mr. Boykewich she said in a saddened voice is he here. Yes, Adrian he's here. But, now is not a good time. I know you probably hate me right now she said. No, Adrian I don't hate you he said. I just don't particular like you as much right now. I understand she said and gulped down a lump after hearing that.

I just wanted to know if he was okay and that he made it home safely. Well he did. Could you give him this she said as she handed him the sapphire ring that Ben had given her. Ben, wanted you to have this Adrian. I know she said, but I don't deserve it anymore. True friends don't hurt each other. Adrian, Leo asked as she turned to leave. Did you ever love my son he asked almost apologetically. Yes, a lot she said Adrian. I just don't love myself, she stated as she turned to leave. Leo closed the door and saw his son standing at the stairs having listened to the entire conversation.


	3. WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

**Chapter 2: THE THRILL IS GONE**

Husband, wake up its, your turn to get Mercy. Ben, said Adrian as he slowly turned and looked at his young latina wife with tired eyes. What, he said as he looked into Adrian's beautiful toffee eyes, and smiled. Mercy is crying and its your turn to get her she said smiling at him. I know, he said as he removed the covers and got up to go and check on his infant daughter. Hurry up and calm her, I think I'm feeling frisky and could use some sausage, or some sausage prince, replied Adrian with a mischievous grin. You do know our daughter is in the next room right, Ben, said with a smile.

Well we'll have to be very quiet then wont we Adrian replied. Ben, looked at his beautiful wife and turned to go and check on Mercy. He opened the door to the nursery and slowly walked to the crib, where he heard a crying Mercy. He looked in to see a small child with very lightly tanned skin, black hair, and eyes which resembled his own moving within the crib staring up at him. He picked her up and held her to him closely, and marveled at how much like her mother she seemed.

I guess I have a way with both of you Ben said as he nestled Mercy in his arms. He walked Mercy back to his room, and pushed open the door to be met with a horrible sight of Adrian in bed with, Jack, Ricky, and Henry. They were all over her touching and kissing her and she seemed to enjoy it. Adrian! He screamed. She only turned to look at him and smile as she still enjoyed the three men ravishing her. He then looked down at Mercy only to see an empty blanket, and rushed from their bedroom, back to the nursery.

When he opened the door, an empty room full of holes and the echo of his own voice from the horrible things he told to Adrian, when she cleaned out the nursery. He dropped to his knees in freight as his own voice boomed in his ears. BEN! BEN! BEN! Wake up, he heard Alice scream as he opened his eyes to find her sitting on his bed looking at him with a worried expression.

As Adrian drove into her parents drive way she noticed the light in the kitchen was on and she could see both her parents in the kitchen. She knocked on the back door and opened it slowly before walking in. Her parents stopped their conversation as she came in, and looked at their daughter whom they saw was still distraught and guilty over the events of the day. So I guess you both already know, huh replied Adrian. Yes, sweetheart we do. Grace called us and told us that we should be on the look out for you in case you stopped by. Well, I guess this is just a repeat of everything I have always done, messed up my life and everyone else's.

Adrian, you haven't ruined your life, or anyone else's, but you have hurt yourself, and your relationship with Ben a lot, Reuben told her as he hugged his daughter close to him. I know Dad, she replied as she allowed herself to be comforted by her father. Her mother just stood and looked at her daughter with a look of disappointment on her face. When Adrian saw her she broke from her fathers hug and stood in front of Cindy awaiting her mothers' reply.

Why Adrian, was all Cindy could say when looking at her daughter. I don't know Mom, when I kissed Ricky, I felt nothing. And when Omar left I thought, great another disaster for me. But, then Ben as usual came to my rescue and we danced. And, I remembered how good it felt to be in his arms. How no matter how much I felt bad when he holds me I feel safer, and protected.

When the song was over we talked and he left me to be with some other girl. I got so angry, at him for that. Even though I told him to go, I just couldn't stand seeing him with her. So, when Henry came and started talking to me, we had a few drinks, I just thought why not. If Ben, can have fun with someone else why can't I. But, Adrian you were the one who wanted to end your marriage.

You, told him that you wanted Ricky, and you were he one who went to the party with Omar and kissed Ricky. Why, did you feel as if you had to punish Ben, for your mistake? Because, it was easier to let o of him she replied. Because, after that dance I realized I messed up. I messed up, our friendship, our pregnancy, and our marriage. But, here he was still trying to save me from myself. I didn't want him to save me anymore. I wanted him to stay away from me before I messed up his life anymore than I already had.

I was the one who went to the car that night and seduced him, after he found out about the kiss. I knew, that it would be easy for me to take advantage of him, and take from Amy, what she took from me. Then I got pregnant and ruined both our relationships. But, he still didn't blame me. Instead he forgave me, and became the boyfriend, and man I always dreamed of. He took me and made me feel special, like I was the woman of is dreams.

He wasn't ashamed to be seen with me in public, and was proud to show me off. He didn't even mind or seemed embarrassed that I was pregnant, or how I got pregnant. Or about my past, he actually seemed happy to be with me. He made me feel loved, and wanted. He got down on one knee and gave me the most beautiful and romantic proposal anyone could ever ask for. He married me just to make me happy and take care of our child. I couldn't even give him the child we both wanted.

When I needed him most he was there, even though he didn't have to be. I knew he was sad and upset over what happened but he got up everyday for three months to take care of me. He wasn't ready to go back to school or work , but he went all to try and help me. And what do I do. I try and seduce him into staying. I erase our daughter from our home. And I try to manipulate him into sleeping with me to get me pregnant so I could keep him.

And when he is finally ready to try and make our marriage work I turn around and break his heart again all because of my obsession with a man that has never treated me than anything more than his WHORE. All the while Amy is just standing there and laughing while I am humiliated and left there like that. And Ben as usual becomes my prince and saves me again. He doesn't need me mom. He deserves better, and I deserve worse. Maybe now both of us can move on, and I can stop causing him pain.

Cindy, was shocked and taken by surprise by her daughters confession to her. Reuben was even more surprised by hall that Adrian, had said. For so long he was guilty over having abandoned is family and how proud e was of his daughters maturity, and resilient spirit . But, after that statement he realized that Adrian, only pretended to be so resilient. That she was indeed no more than a lonely little girl that wanted, and needed to be loved.

When she finally found it, however she was broken and let down by so many others she did not truly have the maturity to accept it. Cindy also took in Adrian's words, and truly realized the effect her lifestyle had on her daughter. She was the one that would abandon Adrian to others and never truly explained love or relationships to her because after Reuben, she herself lost faith in love, and did not show that to Adrian.

Having been shunned by her family she guessed she never really allowed herself to truly love her daughter, and that lack of love forced Adrian to search for it in all the wrong places. Only Antonio that sweet boy she met before she moved to this town ever truly appreciated Adrian. She liked him, and she also guessed that's why she liked Ben so much. Those two were so similar. They were both kind, respectable, gentle, and loved her daughter for who she was despite all her flaws.

Adrian looked at her parents, and asked to be allowed to sleep in her old room she did not have the heart or the energy to go home and sleep in the condo, where she, Mercy, and Ben were supposed to have made their home. As, Adrian made her way upstairs she stopped short to listen to the conversation being made by her parents downstairs. I blame myself for this Reuben.

If I had taken a better interest in our daughter and raised her like a real mother none of this would have ever happened, spoke Cindy angrily. Maybe if I had searched for a job or worked two jobs I could have been there to take care of her and show her what type of man she needed in her life and that way she could better understand it. Then she and Ben could have met under better circumstances and fallen in love, and Adrian would have appreciated it. No, Cindy replied Reuben, this is my fault my love. If I had been there I could have helped you so you wouldn't have had to work as much, and helped you.

I could have kept all the bad guys away from both you and our daughter, and showed Adrian all the good ones. Reuben, sweetheart, it is both our fault, Cindy said as she looked at her husband. If both of us would have stopped being so selfish and put our daughters need in front of our own she would be better off. In stead we chose our careers over her needs, and she was left to raise herself.

You know who else I blame for all this, Cindy said as she and her husband held one another. Who Reuben asked as he looked at her quizzically. Amy, and Ricky. What? Reuben wondered why those two. Because every mistake and hurtful moment in either Ben or Adrian's life has always involved one of them or both of them. Ricky slept with Adrian and continued to play with her heart and mess with her head, while still playing daddy for Amy and John. Amy did the same to Ben without even sleeping with him, she only kept the idea of sex in his head and just strung him along.

If those two had just broken up with both Ben and Adrian when they found out Amy was pregnant instead of playing those cat and mouse games with one another perhaps those two would not have been so unstable when they got together if they had gotten together at all. Well I have to admit that does make sense. I still wonder if Ricky had not kissed Amy would we actually be having this conversatioN, Reuben replied.

I wonder would our daughter have saw Ben for the man of her dreams if he hadn't, replied Cindy. Even though, they are so young and they are so different I sometimes wonder if that night was for the best. Even though she was pregnant and still in high school, while they were together I sensed that our daughter was truly happy with Ben despite the situation, she said as Cindy hugged Reuben.

Adrian slowly and quietly made her way to her room after that statement. She opened her bedroom door, closed it and laid down in her familiar bed. She then took out her necklace which held her wedding band, and looked at the engraving. TO MY ANGEL ON EARTH written in Spanish. Ben had called her that in private, his angel. Not even Grace knew about that nickname, it was her and Ben's secret.

She thought it was ironic that he called her that especially after all the things she had done were nowhere near angelic. But, Ben told her once that when she looked at him it was as if he was being stared at by an angel. Yeah a fallen angel she smirked. But, it felt nice to her that he saw he like that, and even called her that when no one else was near. Her mother was right, despite her condition at the time, her time with Ben when she was pregnant was the happiest she had ever been, not even Antonio made her feel like Ben.

He was so gentle and naïve, yet he was so mature and considerate for his age that she thought he should be called an angel. She laid down on her pillow and slowly began to recall the night that led to all of their drama. The night she snuck outside and took his virginity, in a moment of vengeance, to others but in her own secret it was more for her desire.

Ben looked at Alice and wiped the sweat from his forehead, as he sat up and recovered from his dream. He came to his senses and realized that although it had been a dream, he was in a living nightmare. Adrian had slept with all his friends and he was still married to her and their daughter never got to cry in her nursery.

Alice sat next to Ben with her hair down and wearing a black tank with a surprisingly short skirt and sandals. Her make up was also done and she was wearing a perfume that Hank had bought her for her birthday. Ben recognized the scent sense he spent an hour in the perfume department, with him both looking for a bottle of perfume which matched their girlfriends one for Alice and one for Adrian. He looked at her and marveled at how pretty she looked tonight and wondered why she looked like that.

Hi Alice, he said as he shook the sleep from his groggy head and came to his full alertness. What are you doing here so late, Ben asked. I came to check on you and see how you were, she replied. I 'm fine still adjusting, but I'm not drunk or hung over if that is what you are asking. Yeah, well that is a good thing she replied as she moved closer to him and sat next to him on his bed.

So, did you come from a date or are you going on a date, Ben asked. Neither I just saw the only guy I have ever dated in bed with a girl who was married to my best friend. So, no I came here to be there for my best friend, she stated. I mean Henry and I had broken up, and I know you and Adrian split up, but, Ben you are still in love with her I know that.

Ben, looked at her with his saddened, brown eyes, and realized he couldn't hide his feelings from someone who knew him so well. Yeah, but the same can be said for you and Henry. You still love him and you definitely didn't deserve that. I mean you two have been together for so long, and now after all this time he decides to break up with you just to sleep around, he said.

Well, I'm not that surprised, replied Alice. I kind of knew that Henry wasn't happy with being with me forever. He always did envy and kind of idolize Ricky's lifestyle, you know opposite the being committed to his baby's mother and all, she spoke. Well, I guess sleeping with Adrian and betraying his best friend and hurting the woman he claims to have loved has hi on a very good start, Ben said.

I'm so sorry replied Alice, I wish you didn't have to go through this Ben. No, Alice it's not your fault, you have nothing to apologize for, if I hadn't have brought this drama into our lives you, me, and Henry would be in my room having our annual sleep over. Well, Alice said in a seductive voice, we can still have a sleepover, and we can pretend that Henry, was never here as she straddled herself across Ben, and began to kiss him passionately.


	4. THAT NIGHT IN THE CAR

**I do NOT own the Secret Life of the American teenager and it's characters. It is all property of ABCFAMILY & BRENDA HAMPTON. I only own this story, and plot. ENJOY!**

**THAT NIGHT IN THE CAR**

**Adrian P.O.V.**

Adrian laid in bed awake in her parents house thinking and wondering about how he life got like this. She looked at her wedding band, and twirled her ring on the chain around her neck, and began to think back to the night that started all this.

**_FLASHBACK March 16, 2010 10:30 PM _**

_Adrian saw Ben leave Amy's house and the look on his face was similar to the one she had when, she discovered Ricky had slept with Zoey. She, then put her plan into action, she knew that if she could sleep with Ben at all, now would be the perfect time if not the only time. Unlike most guys she had been with she knew Ben was different. Even though he wanted to have sex, Ben was not the type of guy that would just have sex on the fly. If that was the case he would have had sex his first week of high school. Ben, was kind, sweet, considerate, and handsome, but most of all he was the richest kid in school and all the girls knew it. Many would have been glad to take his virginity, and especially get pregnant.. Which is probably why Ben was so careful not to choose the wrong girl, or at least he tried until he met Amy. _

_She had to admit also Ben was handsome he wasn't a hot stud like Ricky, or a beef cake like Jack. But, he had that charming gentleman quality that some women are attracted to. His eyes as Adrian, knew were his best feature she loved the way Ben would look her at her with awe and innocence. Unlike most Ben kept no secrets and his eyes showed that whenever someone would stare into them. _

_She loved to look at those brown doe colored eyes of his, which always gave away what he was thinking even if it was a naughty thought,. Even when she was dating Ricky, she liked the way Ben, would notice her, and talk to her. She really loved flirting with him it was like a tease that many girls would do on the play ground for all the other boys. Ben, had a way of making her feel like she was innocent again. But, Ben unlike many other guys was also noble, and loyal almost to a fault. He would never betray a friend, and definitely not the woman he loved. _

_But, that was a flaw Adrian had spent some time creating in him. She hated Amy Juergens, no matter how hard she tried to build a relationship with her. It wasn't because Amy called her a slut, or that she was the mother of Ricky's child, it was because Amy in her eyes, was a Snake. _

_She pretended to act like she was so innocent, and didn't know what she was getting into when she slept with Ricky, and instead of taking responsibility for herself she pawned it on everyone else. She blamed Ricky, like she couldn't say no. Ricky was hot true, but even she managed to say no to Ricky., and even if she was so innocent, why didn't she wait at least until she knew him better. No, she knew what she was getting into, Amy just didn't think anything bad would happen to her. _

_But what Adrian hated most of all was what Amy did next. She hooked up with one of the nicest, caring, and most loyal guys in school, and treated him as though it was his responsibility to dote on her every minute. Ben didn't deserve that, especially from some idiot band geek who didn't know that unprotected sex was dangerous._

_Ben, was there for her from the moment her little babbling brook friends, spilled the beans. He got down on one knee and proposed to her in a park. Imagine that a rich kid of only fifteen, marrying a chick pregnant by another man. Most girls would have jumped at the chance, and so did Amy, which is why I knew Amy was no good. If she truly loved Ben as she had claimed she would never have put him through all that. If she really loved him she would have either gone through with the abortion or broken up with him, so she could keep from embarrassing him. _

_But, no she continued to date him and let everyone know that Ricky was her baby's daddy, making him the school idiot for hooking up with the pregnant girl. But, she didn't even care. All she did was allow him to take care of her while letting Ricky go off and have his fun. That was so cruel, sure I'm a bitch, and I'm mean she thought, but I never would have hurt him like she did. But, she thought to herself, I did hurt him like that worse even only a few hours ago when she slept with Henry._

_That night they slept together she waited for her father to go to bed and looked outside to see Ben still sitting in his car looking so broken, it made her feel bad to think about what she was going to do. But, perhaps this would make him feel better, for at least a while anyway. As she left her bedroom she reached into her purse and grabbed the condom Amy had given her. This would make the moment even more symbolic she thought, I'm going to sleep with Ben using the very condom she gave me. I wonder she thought to herself, why after all of Ben's complaining about them having sex did she decide to get on the pill and carry condoms after they broke up. Probably because she wanted them for Ricky, Adrian grimaced. _

_Little Amy only used Ben for so long to take care of her while she was pregnant, and once John was born, she wanted to see what type of man Ricky would be. When he became a better person, that's when she decided Ben's usefulness had come to an end. The BITCH she thought. Amy never really planned on being with Ben she was just using him as a back up plan for Ricky. Well she thought if I had any seconds thoughts about this, they are gone now._

_Adrian went into the bathroom to put on a little make up, and take her pill, don't want to be like Amy, she thought as she opened her new prescription. She then put on a little perfume and looked herself over. I can't make myself look as though I planned this I have to pretend that we both want to. In her head she knew she did want this however, Ben Boykewich, reminded Adrian all to well of the girl she used to be innocent, naive, and lonely. But, like her first love Antonio Ben took all that away with his charm. _

_Sure, Grace was my best friend, but Ben was different he knew me better because I could tell him anything and everything. I told him about Antonio, how I grew up, and even about my dreams of being a lawyer like my father. I don't know why but I just couldn't help but to confide in Ben. He was like diary that girls keep to tell all their secrets because I knew that I could trust him with anything. Ben, didn't judge me like everyone else and he didn't expect anything in return which is what made me actually want him._

_Unlike Jack, or Ricky; Ben wanted to get to know me wanted to be my friend. At first we became allies simply to keep Amy and Ricky from being together, but somewhere down the line we became more than that. I genuinely cared about Ben, and hated Amy for not wanting him or letting him be with other people. Amy knew that other girls were looking at Ben, but she also knew that he only had eyes for her. So as long as she kept the sex topic on the table she knew Ben was hers. Which is why I was glad when he told me that he was going to Bolognia for the summer, and why she was so worried about it. _

_Ben, was cute, Italian, rich, and the son of a very influential family in Italy. I remember how he told me that one of his cousins was a lawyer for the mob. It was a distant relative but still, he had connections. So, him going to a city known for doing the number two of naughty sex acts sat well with me. It meant that someone would see Ben and show him Amy Jeurgens is not the only girl in the universe. I was also a little jealous as well to know that he would probably meet someone new. But, I had Ricky, and even though I had come to care about Ben I knew that I didn't fit into his world, and I didn't want to risk our friendship then._

_But, that night was different, that night it was personal to me. Because Amy Jeurgens took this to a whole new level by kissing Ricky. He was with me, and she knew it, and after I actually tried to make nice with her and be her friend she goes behind my back and kisses my boyfriend. Now to top it all off she goes and hurts one of my only friends, just to get even with him for making out with a girl that saw the great guy he was and appreciated him. I saw the person Ben was, and appreciated it, but I knew he would never see me the way he looked at her. So I would break him free of that WITCH'S CURSE, even if I destroy our friendship in the process. And this would teach Ricky a lesson as well, if he can screw around on me I can screw around on him. _

_But, when I reached Ben's car he needed a lot of provocation to get him started. Most guys, a little smile a laugh, and a touch would get them all over you. But, Ben wasn't and never would be most guys. He needed to be led by the hand actually pushed. We talked, we talked about everything, the kiss our relationships with Ricky, and Amy, Grace, Maria, our parents. And I never knew how so alike Ben, and I were. Ben was always looked at as the spoiled rich kid, where I was always looked at as the school slut, and neither of us wanted the title. I always wanted to just have a guy that wanted to be with me and after Antonio I thought by giving myself to the guys that showed interest it would happen again, but they all only wanted one thing, but it kept me from being lonely. _

_Ben, just wanted a girl that cared about him, not his money or his last name. and couldn't understand why sex was so important to him. In that moment I almost didn't want to do it, but I came there with a purpose and I aimed to succeed. So I leaned and said, "Do you want to see what all the fuss is about". He, gulped and said "Adrian you're with Ricky" Well I said moving closer to him Ricky isn't here and if he can have fun with Amy why can't I have fun with you._

"_But he was about reply," I kissed him hard on the lips before he could even protest. Man, I thought o myself I have wanted to kiss this boy for a while, and he didn't disappoint. _

_Ben probed my mouth with his tongue and wrestled with mine for supremacy. Neither of us were relenting, he gave as good as he got and I had to admit he was "THE BEST KISSER I HAVE EVER HAD" Omar is a close second. But Ben, is the best. His kisses, when he wants are sweet and innocent, but the first kiss was nowhere near innocent. He grabbed me around the waist and leaned in, which gave him more control and this caused him to gain the upper hand. Somehow I broke from the kiss, not because I wanted to but because unlike Ben I needed air. _

_I then put my hand to his chest and felt the small pectorals that were there he was thin, but his skin was so smooth and soft, he really did have boyish charm I thought. As my hand moved down his shirt. I felt his hand stop me as I moved closer. Adrian, we shouldn't this is wrong. Well, it feels right I said. You, and I have been letting Ricky and Amy , use us for so long for once lets teach them how it feels to be hurt and betrayed. But, Adrian we're supposed to be friends, and I couldn't do this to you like all those other guys. He replied. Ben, you will never be like all those other guys, I said looking at him genuinely. _

_Those eyes of his I thought they were so innocent, and filled with hurt from what Amy did, and here he was still thinking of her, and of me. This made me want him now more than ever because unlike others he deserved to have at least one adventure. Even if this night ruins our friendship I thought I know he will always remember me. Because, I am the one who is going to take his virginity, and this will also put me even with Ricky and Amy._

_Sure, I could leave and be satisfied with all that we have just done, but then who would he be with. Grace, or Maria. I loved Grace, she was my best friend, but she stopped being worthy of Ben the second she slept with Jack. I didn't know Maria that well, but if she truly wanted Ben then she would have taken him in Bolognia, or the time she was here with him. _

_Or Amy, she has had every opportunity to be with Ben and she always turned him down, and after all he has done for her the least she could have done was this, especially if she loved him. She certainly isn't saving herself for him that's the truth. And all she would do even if she did sleep with him was lord it over him keeping him wrapped around her finger. I could, let him leave and find someone that really loves him. But, then I wouldn't be the one. The one who he will always remember and keep close, and that is what I want, just like Antonio._

_So I stepped up my game I slowly took his head in my hands and said, "Ben, forget about why we should or shouldn't do this. Right now, stop thinking and just let go. You have done the right thing your whole life, and tried to be the good guy." Well Ben, if you haven't realized by now the good guys finish last" So be the bad boy for once" I know you are envious of Ricky. Well, maybe its time you stopped being so envious and find out how the bad boys live." It is what got Amy isn't it, I said adding salt to the wound I had given to his pride. _

_It was the extra incentive I needed to get him going again. I felt his hands go around my waist and pull me onto his lap. We began kissing again, this time with more passion and fire. Ben, seemed almost possessed by some spirit as his hand began making their way under my clothes. I felt him remove my jacket and his hands went under my shirt and unhooked my bra. Whatever he learned in Italy, he got an A+ in. _

_He then moved me off his lap to remove his shirt. Yep he was no Ricky, and definitely no Jack. But, he wasn't bad either. I then moved to the back seat and asked him to join me. I removed my shirt and bra as he made his way into the back and climbed on top of me. For a second after seeing me like that his eyes widened and that doe eyed look of innocence returned to his eyes. This made me smile to see him looking at me like that. His car had more than enough room, as we lay down he on top of me and we kissed his weight settled in on me and it felt almost natural as we lay there kissing and his hands went to my breast. _

_He rubbed them firmly and placed both my nipples into his fingers massaging them and forcing them erect. I moaned in delight, most guys even Ricky, worried about themselves, but Ben seemed to be taking his time as a way both to make it last and allow me to enjoy it as well. He then began to kiss me and in those kisses I felt strange, as though I wasn't Adrian Lee "The Grant High Slut", but someone else. Someone who didn't know about sex someone who was new to all the things Ben was doing, and this made me appreciate it even more. _

_But, I came back to my senses as I felt myself being aroused, and moistening in my crotch as Ben broke from our kiss and began to make his way to my breast. He kissed both so slowly and firmly, yet he never stopped looking at me with those eyes. As if he wanted me to know that he knew I wasn't Amy, but he wanted me to feel as if I were. I felt his tongue go over my right breast and his lips began to wrap around my nipple all the while I felt his other hand around my waist and is right still played with my other bosom._

_I wrapped my hand on the back of his neck to keep his lips sucking on my bosom. This aroused me even more as I rubbed his head to urge him on. He then stopped and repeated the action on my other breast, making me coo with delight. No guy, not Antonio or Ricky made me feel like this so innocent, and sexual at the same time. I was actually nervous as his hands began to take off my pants. He slid them off slowly taking his time and care to ensure they did not snag on my feet and rubbed my tan smooth legs as well. When my pants were off he actually sucked on my toe before kissing his way back up to my waist._

_This is so freaky I thought to myself. I came out here to seduce Ben, yet I felt as if I was the virgin here. As, Ben made his way to my satin red panties he took his time to breathe in my musky aroma from being so aroused and then kissed the wet patch that appeared on them. I moaned in ecstasy at this. He pulled them from my waist just as he did my pants when he returned he kissed my sex. _

_I thanked god I had shaved and douched that day for Ricky. Ricky I thought this whole time I didn't think of him, and as his name came into my mind it left just as quickly as it appeared, when Ben began to kiss, and love my clitoris. This moistened me even more as now I was naked, and he was literally making me so horny I was about to release. I held on and back as he placed two fingers inside me and pushed them in and out until my sex juices flowed. I grabbed his head, at this and wrapped my legs around his neck as his oral assault continued. _

_He then stopped and kissed his way back up my body and he again began to kiss, and suckle on my nipples. I then grabbed his head and kissed him. I then forced him down onto the seat and began to remove his belt, and open his pants. As I did this I saw his manhood come to life, and was surprised at how much it did come to waken. As I then unzipped his trouser and allowed my hand's to probe inside he almost stopped me. He looked at me and was about to protest when I put my finger to his lips and said, We already came this far Ben, lets go all the way. As I said this, he laid his head back down, and I placed my hand into his boxers. _

_What I found was startling, if Amy actually knew what Ben was packing she would have never given Ricky a second thought. So, this is the real reason why they call you the "Sausage Prince". I said with a smirk. He looked so surprised and embarrassed, I couldn't help but feel bad. I was probably the first and only girl to touch him down there. Let's, not act so informal Ben, I said. You have already seen and touched mine so now its' my turn. I took time to rub, it and feel my hand and around it. I have to say my hands are small, but, on Ben's dick they were even smaller. I then began to remove his clothes until his pants, and boxers were around his ankles. _

_I was surprised at how he looked. He was almost boyish save for his height, and his manhood which really looked out of place on someone so small. I then kissed him, and began moving down his neck, kissing his collar bone and chest. I moved to his nipples and kissed, licked, and even bit each one. I kissed him down his body to his belly button and kissed it. I discovered this was his tickle spot, and played with it all the while watching, and feeling as his dick became erect. I then moved down to the main piece. _

_I kissed his manhood, and began to licking up and down it's length, and cupped his balls before taking one in my mouth and sucking on it. This was indeed the biggest, I have ever seen, and I have seen plenty. I then reached into my jacket pocket on the front seat and took out the condom. Amy got this for Ricky, or Jimmy I told Ben, because she didn't get it for you. I stated. How did you get that, he asked. She, gave it to me so if you had any doubts about her wanting you, and not really wanting to sleep with you this is it. She got these, and went on the pill after you two broke up. _

_How do you know he asked, almost sorrowful. His manhood began to go down which is what I was hoping for, so I could slip on the condom without breaking it. She told me, I said. At this moment I slipped on the TROJAN for him. No wooden horse can hide this I giggled and thought to myself. I then rubbed and kissed him, and he with me as he slowly but surely came to life and stretched the condom to its fullest. I then, laid on my back and took his head in my right hand while guiding his manhood to my entrance with my left hand. I looked at him, and he at me. So we are going to do this he said. Yes, Ben we are, I replied. If anyone deserves this its you and me. But, be gentle and go slow I said with a motherly tone. _

_He kissed me and I guided him in. It was rough, as it hurt somewhat and I felt myself being stretched by him, I said owe. He then stopped pushing into me and sat up to look into my eyes. He, looked so scared to think he was hurting me seriously I kissed him, and pushed him back inside, and said its okay Ben. We then began his deflowering, or mine, I didn't really know who was the virgin anymore at this point._

_We started a slow rhythm and he took it in with an innocent joyful expression. He may have been a virgin, but Ben knew what he had and used it well. He moved slower, and quicker, not going by the feelings he was getting from this, but by my expressions. Most times when I had sex I never let a guy know how I felt until after we were done, I would usually just keep myself and enjoy, but with Ben, I had no choice but to enjoy and reveal both the pleasure and pain I felt of having him inside me. _

_He moved with such gentleness making sure, he didn't hurt me, but the power of his manhood, begged to differ. After fifteen minutes, we soon both began to move into a place that was truly euphoric. It allowed me to enjoy him, as well he enjoy me. All the while he kissed me and looked at me with those eyes of his. He touched and nibbled at places, that I never knew were there much less made me feel so aroused. Amy truly didn't know what she had. As we both slowly gained pleasure from this I felt something inside me but gave no notice to it. I had worked my way into a passionate motion and would not stop. _

_+I wrapped my legs around Bens' waste and forced him deeper into me. He took the time then to pick up his pace and we soon had waves of pleasure, and lust coming from each thrust. I couldn't help but to let go of my inhibitions as we did this. I then looked at him with those doe brown eyes, and in that moment I didn't care about what would happen next or in the future for he and I. I didn't care about Ricky, Amy, or John. In that moment no one else existed but Ben Boykewich, and me. I remember that moment well for that was the moment I knew that the condom broke and our daughter Mercy was conceived._

**_END OF FLASHBACK:  
PRESENT DA MAY 31, 2011 11:32 PM_**

I never told Ben that, mainly because he would have realized that I did want him. That I somehow on some level I intentionally got pregnant. I didn't just go to him and want him for revenge against Amy and Ricky. That night was about me wanting him for myself, if only for one night and one moment. I would tell everyone else that is was for revenge, but I knew the truth. Maybe if I had been honest with Ben from the beginning none of his would have happened. Maybe if I had told Ben that night, how I more than cared about him, we could have been something different.

But, Would've, Could've, and Should've still means I didn't, and I can't go back and rewrite history. I can't stop that night from happening, or the night our daughter died. The night I took out our daughters nursery, or the night I kicked him out of our condo. Or last night, when I broke my husband's heart when I slept with his best friend.


	5. LEARNING CURVE & ENLIGHTENMENT

I own nothing save the plot. The characters, and show are all property of Brenda Hampton, ABCFAMILY & the producers of "THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER".

**LEARNING CURVE & ENLIGHTMENT**

As, Ben felt Alice's tongue probe his mouth, he slowly began to wrap his arm around her. She returned the action and wrapped hers around his neck, pulling him closer to her. As they embraced, and began to lose themselves in the moment, Ben broke from the kiss, and looked at Alice deeply. She also looked him in the eyes and pulled her tank over her head revealing, her lacey black and pink satin bra to Ben. Ben was shocked in seeing Alice like this, he would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about being with Alice. He had once imagined being with Alice like this, but that was long ago before, she and Henry had ever gotten together. Many times he would day dream about being with Alice, and dream about it as well.

He also had to admit that he even had his first wet dream to thoughts of being with Alice, but that was when he was a kid of only eleven. Now he was seventeen, not a virgin any longer and right now being here with Alice half naked in his bedroom, in his bed was not a dream. As they still continued their embrace he slowly pulled Alice under the covers of his bed. It was at that moment that he caught sight of his computer screen. It was weird he thought he didn't remember leaving it on and as he began to forget about it, an image appeared on the screen. Their on the screen for only a moment was a picture of Ben and Adrian on the side of Mercy.

Even though Mercy never lived to even be a day old, Ben had gotten a computer program which would allow him to see what she would look like if she had lived. Ben, got the program from Henry, as a gift months ago when Adrian and Ben asked him to be the baby's God Father. The young girl was beautiful she appeared to be the age of three, and had all of Adrian's characteristics. She had Ben's eyes however and a paler skin tone. But, the child was truly beautiful, and had the joyful glint in her eyes similar to Ben's and had Adrian's mischevious smile.

Alice at that time grabbed Ben's head and tried to get him to focus back on their current endeavor. Ben what's wrong, she asked sounding annoyed. I can't Alice, he replied. Why not, she stated with an angry tone. Because, if we did this then we would be no better off than Adrian, and Henry. You're my friend Alice, and considering I am running out of those, I'd like to keep the only one I have left, he replied.

But Ben, you can't look at me and tell me you haven't thought of doing this with me. She said dryly and looking at him with her annoyed face. Alice, you and I have been through a lot together, and I made the mistake of sleeping with a friend once, to get back at someone I loved, and I'd like to think I am learning from my mistakes, he said with a cool tone. Now Ben, she replied with annoyance.

You chose right now to decide that you are going to start learning from your mistakes. Well, Alice you were the one who said you didn't want me to do anything stupid, and we both know that this is not a smart idea. But, Ben she started. Alice, I love you as a friend. No, more than a friend you're family, and I couldn't live with myself to think that I had sex with you simply to get back at Adrian and Henry. We have been friends too long, and gone through to much together to do that, stated Ben.

I know, you're right Ben. But, I just feel so hurt for what Hank did. Not that I feel bad for myself for him having sex with someone else, but that he had sex with Adrian knowing how much it would hurt you. I thought I knew Hank better than that. I thought our relationship, and his friendship with you meant more to him than that. She told him almost apologetically. Well, I guess it didn't. Ben said choking back the anger, and sadness in his voice. But, our friendship does mean more to me than that, and I don't intend on changing it. Ben stated. I guess it shouldn't change Alice said with a smile. She slowly began to separate herself from Ben and place her shirt back on.

She then turned to Ben, and asked. Ben, I know that we aren't going to do anything, but can I see it. What! He asked almost screaming. Well, I kind of felt it while we were you know, and I just got curious. Alice. Ben said. Come on Ben you felt my boob. Okay, he breathed, and removed the covers. Then he pulled down his boxers, and pajama bottoms to reveal his now deflating member. Wow! Was Alice's only reply. I kind of see how you accidently got Adrian pregnant. I'm glad we didn't go through with it because, I only have condoms for Henry, and he is nowhere near that size.

Alice, Ben said sternly I really don't want to stay here showing you my privates , while we discuss Henry's. I have a lot on my mind and I really just want to get back to sleep, Ben answered back. I know she said as she gathered her things and headed toward the door. Ben, she said looking back I know that we did the right thing by not having sex right now, and I know that we would have regretted it later. But, I am not ashamed for kissing you like that. Alice. Ben was about to reply. Ben, she said stopping him. I know that we are just friends, and that's all we probably ever will be, and I'm glad because I value our friendship, I really do. But, I also have to admit I've thought about you in that way. Even when I was with Henry. Because I was jealous of Amy, Adrian, and even Grace when you were with them.

Because, I have always known, and appreciated the great guy you were, and it killed me that they could all be so stupid to want Ricky, and Jack over you. Don't get me wrong, they are probably both great guys, somewhere deep down, but neither has anything on you. Because neither, has your heart, confidence, or your integrity. And I really hope one day you find the girl who will see all that I see in you and not make the same mistake as those idiots. And Alice I hope someday that a guy, sees in you what I see. Your, beauty, grace, wisdom, and heart. Not too mention you have great boobs. Also Henry was the biggest fool for breaking up with you. Now, I can understand why he can't do well on test, he really is an idiot. said Alice. Yeah, I guess he is Ben replied.

Alice then left leaving Ben alone and somewhat proud of himself for not taking advantage of his friend, as he did to Adrian last year. Adrian, he thought to himself….. WHY? Was all he could say. Did he do something wrong last night when he left to talk to Dylan. He, asked her if she was going to be okay, and she actually pushed him to go. But, still maybe he shouldn't have. Adrian, was already vulnerable, after what Amy and Ricky did, not to mention humiliated. AMY & RICKY, he grimaced.

Why is it he thought do all of my problem's, and Adrian's revolve around those two. If it had not been for those two, maybe Adrian, and I would not be here right now getting divorced, and living as only friends. If they were still friends after last night, he had not decided. He began to think about all the literature he had read, on pregnancy and remembered that stress can cause harm to a fetus, and Amy's little stunt with the shower, and hallway scene. All of that definitely caused Adrian stress, and Amy did know about it since she had read those same books herself when she was pregnant with John.

But, no he thought I can't blame them for what happened to Mercy, but what happened last night is their fault. I always thought Amy, and Ricky had more respect for people than that, but I guess I gave them too much credit. The nerve of PRETTY RICKY, and Amy walking into a party filled with all of Adrian's classmates, and kiss her in front of them. Then walk off hand in hand like some royal couple after having the nerve to get engaged in front of the entire school. Those two have some balls, he said out loud. Ricky, of all people asking Amy to marry him after arguing with him about marrying Adrian. Now, I guess since she and I are divorcing they want to live the fairy tell life.

He sat up in his bed, and placed his hands behind his head, and began to think of all that had transpired for he and Adrian since they met Adrian and Ricky. Amy lied to me about not sleeping with Ricky. She lied to me about not being pregnant, and even though I asked her repeatedly if she had feelings for Ricky she lied about that as well. Ricky, was the same with Adrian, he lied about not wanting to be a father to John. He lied about wanting him to be John's father. He lied about loving Adrian. He lied about, not trying to steal Amy from him. He also lied about trying to be his friend.

As he sat there in bed, Ben began to open his eyes to much that had happened in his life. Amy Jeurgens was a girl whom he thought was his first love, and possibly the love of his life, but was she? Sure when they were together, he loved it but after a while it became a chore. Even though he thought he was clingy so he gave her space she seemed to be distant from him, yet she never really distanced herself from Ricky. She whined constantly about not wanting to have anything to do with him yet it never stopped her from running to him whenever they had a fight.

In all the time that they had been together Ben, realized that Amy told him she loved him, but yet he realized she had no feeling when she said it. When Adrian, told him she loved him, he always believed her, from the very beginning. She would look at him and he could see the sparkle in her eyes when she said it. Adrian, despite their relationship now, had always been honest, even when she kicked him out of the condo. But, Amy was different. He always felt as if he was playing some kind of game with her.

She never really let him know what was on her mind, and anytime she saw him with another girl she became jealous, yet she thought he was the jealous one when she was with Ricky. Sure, John was his son, but if he was her boyfriend why wouldn't he be jealous of Ricky in her bedroom, when not even he went in there. Just like when the topic of sex came up. Two years, almost two years they were together and she complained every time when he even went near the topic. Yet, you couldn't even date Ricky without sex being part of the relationship. So, when was all Ben could think, when did they have sex first.

He began to ponder that subject, and remembered that they were both cozy and very affectionate, right after. Right, after Mercy's death! They didn't even wait till my daughter was cold before they slept together. Did they do it, as a way to celebrate. Adrian, and I were broken, and they were having sex while our daughter was dead.

Ricky, that pompous jerk, he took Amy, and Adrian from me without even trying. He played with Adrian's heart like it was a yoyo. I guess Adrian was no different from any other girl to him he thought. And so was he. Yeah, he was, or tried to be Ricky's friend, but what kind of friend. He thought Ricky was his friend when he came to see him after his dad's wedding, to force him back with Amy, but why did he later fly to New York only to steal Amy away from him. A kiss, a kiss from Ricky, always seems to ruin my life. It was his kiss to Amy that ruined my chances with Amy, and made me sleep with Adrian. It was also a kiss from Ricky to Adrian, that now ruined, both my friendship with Henry, and Adrian. All the while Ricky gets it all.

He has my family's apartment, and a job at our butcher shop. He now has the first woman I ever loved, a child that I wanted to be mine. He had Bunny a woman, whom was like a mother to him, after his own had died. He even had Adrian play the part of his sex puppet one last time, and a full scholarship ride to college. He even had the love, and respect of his father. My father he thought. A fool he thought, I have been a fool this whole time. I have let nothing, but users, and liars into my life for so long.

No more. He took his wedding ring from its hiding place, and laid it inside the picture frame of his mother. He turned on his computer and looked at the picture of his daughter and said. NO MORE MERCY! I promise from this point on I will do my best to take back everything Amy and Ricky have ever taken from me. I promise to be the man that would make you, and my mom both proud of me.

I promise I will never again make stupid mistakes, and fall into the trap that people like Ricky, and Amy have put in front of me. I also promise Mercy, to help your mother become the woman that you would be proud to call your mom. Even if she and I aren't together, I swear I will be there for her whenever she needs me because I know that is what you would have wanted. And, I'm sorry for not being the man, and husband she needed me to be when you died.

But, I swear on my life I won't make those mistakes, again and neither will she. And it starts by throwing out that pot I bought today. Ben, then walked to his drawer took the marijuana, and matches from where he had hidden them, and headed downstairs to dispose of them. As he was headed to the door he ran into his father and accidentally dropped the items on the floor in front of him. Benjamin WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, was all Leo could say, as he leaned down and picked up the items.


	6. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

**WHEN, WE WERE YOUNG**

Henry lay down in his room in the dark trying to think about what to do next. Why, he thought to himself. Why, would I sleep with Adrian knowing that Ben still had feelings for her. Was I that drunk, and horny to realize what I was doing was wrong. Man, I have never done something so stupid in my life. Of all the women, at that party why did I have to sleep with Adrian. She was drunk too, and she did initiate the whole thing, by dancing so close to me. Pulling me into the bedroom, and kissing me. Then asking me if I wanted to see what it was like to be with her. But, Ben did ask me to keep her company, but that is no excuse. He meant for me to makes sure she was okay, not to take advantage of her in that state.

Why didn't I just go and dance with Alice when she asked. Why did I even break up with her? Its, not like I don't love her, but I just wanted to know what it would be like to do something different. To experience new things, people, places, and not have her by my side all the time. But, so far my new experience has cost me my best friend and gotten me beaten up twice, and I deserved both, and more.

Honestly, sex is nothing but a problem for teenagers. It got Ricky, and Amy in trouble. It caused problems for Grace, and Jack. It screwed up Ben, and Adrian. Alice, and I were no exception to the rule either.

Why, does sex have to complicate everything, he wondered? When Alice and I had sex it felt strange, and weird at first. Mainly because both of us were new to the feeling, of knowing one another so intimately. Then it stopped feeling weird, and started feeling right. It became the greatest feeling in the world to both of us. The best part was when we would be done, and I could hold her in my arms afterward. I could watch her sleep, and feel her lying close to me, sleeping so peacefully. I loved to watch her sleep, it was like watching the real Alice. She moved, and made funny sounds when she slept, she also would drool out of her mouth.

To some that would be gross, but I thought it was cute. Since we were kids, Alice Valko was literally the perfect woman in my eyes, and Bens'. She was smarter than anyone we had ever met, braver than an entire army, and funnier than a car full of clowns on laughing gas. No matter what stupid thing Ben, and I would do she was always there to either cheer us on, or slap our heads. I guess that's why Ben and I both fought over who should be her boyfriend.

We didn't really fight, more of argued and played stupid games in challenges. We were both young and geeky, and neither of us knew how to fight. Also both of us were totally afraid of getting hit. So, we devised a contest to choose which of us should win Alice's hand in a duel. We created a list of challenges and each of us had to complete the list in order to win.

We challenged each other in 13 straight games of Mortal Kombat, which I won seven. We rode our bikes in a race from my house to Ben's of which he won since my asthma was worse than his. We swam fifteen laps in his pool which he we both lost since we nearly drowned, luckily Alice was there to save us and slap our heads for doing something so stupid. Finally we just decided to try, and let Alice decide. When we went before her, and pleaded our cases, she was shocked that both of us had a crush on her. She didn't want to choose, and we both knew it. I left assuming she would choose Ben, since he was smarter, taller, and rich.

He could give her everything, I couldn't so what was the point so I gave in, and went home. Later she knocked on my door, and kissed me when I answered. That was my very first kiss, and I said to myself that I wanted her to be the only one I ever kissed. She then slapped me on my head, and said that the next time I give up on her she would hit me harder. Well she did that a few hours ago right after Ben hit me repeatedly harder.

I never knew Ben had it in him to beat someone like that, let alone me. But, after what I said about Adrian, and what I did with Adrian I completely understand. He is, was my best friend and I slept with his wife. The woman who was supposed to be the mother of his child. He, told me before we even got to the party that he still felt something for her, but he just didn't want to be married anymore. Neither did she for that matter. But, why did I sleep with her, I just don't know.

Ben, told me that he would do his best to try, and stay apart of her life because he felt bad for what happened between them. But, I knew the real reason was because he wanted to keep her part of his life because "HE DID LOVE HER", he just wasn't ready to be "IN LOVE WITH HER" Alice, and I talked about it right after he told us that he went back to live in the condo. Adrian, and Ben did love one another we both realized that, but we both also knew that they rushed into their relationship so soon, for the baby.

Ben, always tried to live up to the title of Prince, ever since I can remember. He always tried to show himself as a person of dignity, pride, and honor, he is probably the only person in the world I envy. I would never tell him that though. I don't envy him because he has money, but because he tries to be like everyone else even though he has money. Henry began to think back to the day he first met Ben, we were so stupid back then innocent, and naive I wish I could go back to that time "WHEN WE WERE YOUNG" My parents aren't rich, and work simple jobs. My dad is an engineer at an automotive plant, and my mom is a nurse. I never even stood out in school or anywhere else. I was a plain simple average kid who could barely even pass to the next grade.

So, I was shocked when after Ben and I ate lunch together one day, he asked to be my friend. Generally everyone else was afraid to go near him because, the rumor in the third grade was his father used kids to make his meat, so Ben was ostracized by everyone. The only people brave enough to go near him at our school was Alice, of course who feared no one. Grace, who said God protected her and she was not afraid of Mr. Boykewich, and me because I was dared to go over and talk to him by other guys in our class. I had to admit I was scared Ben although geeky was taller and looked kind of odd, but from the moment I sat down and I looked into his eyes I knew no one with eyes like his could be that bad.

From that day forward Ben, and I were almost inseparable. We did everything together, camping, concerts, sleepovers, fishing trips with his dad everything. I was shocked when he introduced me to his mom and dad. I always imagined the sausage king to be a big ma with a black beard, and mean eyes. But, when I met The King, I saw where Ben got his kind smile it was like looking at a 40 year old future version of Ben. When I met his mom Sarah, I saw where he got his eyes, I generally never met a more kinder and gentler person save for Ben. She was sweet caring, and almost as beautiful as my own mother. I soon spent more time with Ben's family than I did with my own.

I was kind of embarrassed when Ben came to meet my family since we had nothing impressive to offer like he had. We didn't have a home theater, we didn't have a pool, or a full serving staff catering to us. But, when Ben met my family it was like he was a long lost son to my dad, and mom. They have six kids, two sets of twins, one adult child and me. But, when I brought Ben home with me it was like my family had grown one more member. Ben, didn't care that our television was a knockoff or that I shared a room with my older brother, he was happy to be spending time with such a large and loving family.

My own little twin demon brothers, actually took more of a liking to Ben than to me. They called him their scarecrow cousin because he was so tall, and thin. But, they didn't do it to be mean, it was because one day when they were scared of a monster in their closet, Ben stayed with them all that night and stood watch like a scarecrow over corn. I envied Ben for his life, but I think he envied me for mine, since he had no brothers or sisters.

But, both our lives felt a something was missing, but all that ended the day we had to take on Alice Valko as our tutor. She was strict, and bullied both of us, but thanks to her we were able to learn integers, and pass our math test. For helping us Ben's dad invited her for dinner, and a movie. We both felt a little uneasy with her around since neither of us were used to girls, but Mrs. B. or Sarah forced us to accept her.

She said that both of us could use a little interaction with the greater sex. She loved to say things like that how women were so much greater than women. She often joked by saying the reason Ben's dad was so lucky in his life was because she met him so young, and as the saying goes "BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND AN EVEN GREATER WOMAN." So, Alice became our third musketeer, and we were finally complete. It may have been weird to some, that two boys spent so much time with one girl. But they clearly never met Alice because she could spit, run, belch, and in Ben and mines own experience HIT HARDER than any guy in our class.

Our lives were so happy back then, and for two years that is how I wanted it to stay, until the day we found out Mr. B was sick. In actuality she had been sick since we met Ben, but she hid it well. I never really knew just how sick till that one day she was teaching Ben, Alice, and I how to cook and started to cough. She grabbed napkin, and coughed into it. When she put it down, Alice noticed that it had blood inside of it and asked her if she was okay. She told us that it was just blood from a bad tooth, and she would be fine.

But, as she told us this I looked at Ben, who seemed unusually quiet and sad as he heard her answer. We later went to Ben's room in order to let his mother rest, and Alice immediately asked Ben for the truth. Ben, looked at us as though he were going to cry. He was so sad, and miserable, the only time I ever saw Ben look that bad, was years later. He had that look when Amy broke up with him, when his daughter died, and this morning when he saw Adrian, and I together. He looked as if he was going to break, and revealed to us that his mom had been sick for a while and that she would be going to the hospital soon.

Alice, and I were both saddened, and shocked to hear this. For two years we had grown to care, and love Mrs. B. as much as our own mothers and now we were hearing that she was sick. We did our best to comfort, and reassure our friend that it would be okay, but it wasn't. Ben's mom went to the hospital a few weeks later and stayed for almost two months before she came back for three weeks.

During those weeks, I have to admit I had never been so happy as a kid. But, it did not stay that way, for Mrs. B. as we all knew was ill, very ill. During the first time we saw her back we noticed that she had lost so much weight, and although she tried to hide it with make up her skin was so pale. Alice was the first to notice, and swore me to secrecy not to tell anyone, but I knew something was wrong so I asked the only other person I knew who could tell me what was happening, Grace Bowman. Grace's dad was a doctor, and I figured she might have a clue as to what was going on.

That's when I learned that Mrs. B. had cancer, Grace's father was actually treating her and the prognosis was not good. Her father usually kept a patience well being secret from others, but over time he had gotten to know Leo, and Ben, so he asked his daughter to try and be nicer to him. Grace did become nicer to Ben in that time too. She began to sit near him at lunch, talk to him, at recess, and even came to his house to help with homework. This made Ben ecstatic, since he already kind of liked Grace, but now she was showing interest and that made him fall in love with her. But his infatuation with Grace, fell to help him cope with what happened after his eleventh birthday.

A few days after the party which involved us Ben's mom, and a few of his cousins, Ben was told at the party his mother would be going away. Ben, simply thought she was going to visit someone in Florida, but he knew the truth, ad so did we. It killed all of us to know that we would never again see that beautiful smile, or hear her kind voice again.

After her death Mr. Boykewich, told Ben, who still refused to believe it. He continued to say that she was simply in Florida with relatives. I was going to correct him, when Alice held me back, and convinced me not too. She said that "This is how Ben wants to deal with losing her, and for now I think its' best that we let him." I knew she was right since Alice was always right about everything. It's one of the qualities she possessed that made me and Ben fall in love with her. It was also one of the qualities that made me break up with her. She was so smart, understanding and thoughtful, but she was also better than me at everything. She was faster, smarter, and she was way better at sex than me even though she pretended that she liked it, I knew I kind of disappointed her sometimes.

I didn't try but, she is just so beautiful, so smart, so funny, how can I keep her happy. So, I decided to break up with her. I thought that by breaking up with Alice it would give me time to become worthy of her. I didn't really want to, but when I realized that she would be graduating, going off to college, and meeting other guys that were good enough for her I thought it would be better to end it now before it got to hard to let go.

Letting go, Henry thought. That is what Ben had to do when his mom died. I remember her funeral well. Usually I don't like to dress up, especially wearing ties, but Mrs. B. always said, "A tie, is like a crown for a gentleman it lets people know to respect you." So, for her funeral I actually learned to tie a necktie myself, it was a small tribute, but it was all I could do. Ben, dressed for the occasion as well, I remember Alice had to tie his neck tie for him. Usually he would ask his mom to do it for him, and he almost called her to do it, before he stopped himself. Alice saw the expression on his face when he realized she would not be there to do it anymore, so she did it for him.

It was so hard to see that look on his face, and accept that his mom wasn't in Florida, but "GONE FOREVER". I guess it was hard on all of us. Especially Ben, and "THE KING". usually those two were full of smiles, and jokes but on that day I could see no happiness in either of their eyes. When we went to the funeral, "THE KING" let us ride in the limousine with he and Ben. I thought it would be strange seeing as Alice and I were not family, but he assured us Sarah thought both of us as her children. We both comforted Ben, on the ride who seemed quiet, and distant.

As the funeral started. "THE KING" who was usually a strong and happy, man actually cried for the first time. I never thought men cried till that day. I always thought, men should be strong, and resilient, and not want to shed a tear or they would be seen as weak. But, "THE KING" was not a weak man he was a strong man, and proud. But, today he was a man who was sad, and lonely because he lost the love of his life.

I remember watching how Mrs. B. and "THE KING" related to one another, it was like watching my brother and his girlfriend interact. They, always teased, and made fun of one another, yet they did it with such love in their eyes. I had never even seen my own parents act as they did so young, and happy. That was real love I thought, that was the love I wanted for myself, and the love I had with Alice. But, I ruined it, just like I ruined my friendship with Ben, and his love for Adrian.

Some people wondered why Ben, was so in a rush to fall in love, be a father, get married but knew the reason. Ben, wanted to be like his father, and mother. He has so much love in him, and when his mom died I think he didn't know who to give it too. I remember after the funeral Ben cried for days in his tree house so no one could see him, especially his dad. He told me he didn't want his dad to feel bad for him, that he had to be strong for him. But, "THE KING" felt the same way about Ben, I guess both father and son were to much alike. They both loved Mrs. B. so much and it was hard for them to let go. But, Amy never realized it, and Ben told me that Adrian was too broken to understand that.

I sometimes wondered if Ben, ever really loved either. He cared for both but, did he ever really love them. Amy liked him but I sometimes wondered if she loved him. The way she acted when they were together seemed so false as though she was only doing this to please him. As for Adrian, after the what happened I'm not sure. When they were together I never really got the impression that she was acting, but if she loved him then "WHY DID SHE SLEEP WITH ME".. That was Henry's last thought as he drifted off to sleep still guilty over his actions.


	7. PUNISHMENTS, REDEMPTION, & FORGIVENESS

_**PUNISHMENTS, REDEMPTION, & FORGIVENESS**_

Leo picked up the items from the floor in front of his son, and immediately became furious with Ben for what he held in his hand. BEN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS & WHAT IS IT DOING IN MY HOUSE, he said furiously glaring at Ben with such anger and disappointment. Ben, looked at his father with both shame, and fear. He had never meant for his father to find the drugs, especially since he had decided to not to use them, but get rid of them only moments before.

He, realized there was no way of getting out of this so he took a deep breath, and began to explain everything to his father, since he had just promised not to do anything stupid again. Dad, let me explain and give me a moment to apologize. Apologize, Leo responded. Apologizing is all you seem to be doing lately. You apologize for sleeping with Adrian to get back at Ricky and Amy.

You apologize for getting Adrian pregnant. You apologize for walking out on Adrian after you asked her to marry you, and give up when she loses the baby. Then you apologize when you get drunk, and humiliate yourself at Geoff's. You apologize when you let Nora get drunk while trying to help you. You apologize when Adrian decides to end the marriage ahead of you. Now you have to apologize for bringing drugs into my house. I just don't know what is wrong with you son.

Is this what you thought would make you feel better. Dad, Ben began to interrupt. NO! Leo replied. I don't want to hear anymore. I'm tired and I'm going to bed and you, you're grounded till the morning, and I don't want to see you again until I can think of a punishment suitable for you. Why, why can't you be more like Ricky, and accept responsibility, for your actions instead of always, making some stupid decision. It was at those words that Ben, not Leo who became angry, and furious.

To be put down on a lower level than Ricky by his own father, had awakened something in Ben that he himself did not know was there. Anger and rage that he had felt only a few times in his life. Once when his mother died, and he was angry that she had been taken from him at such a young age. The night his daughter died when she too had been taken from him. The day Adrian cleared out the nursery without talking to him about it, and earlier that morning when he attacked Henry for what he and Adrian had done the night before.

Ricky, Dad; Ben said with an angry sneer. Be more like Ricky, is that what I should do. You mean like going out and sleeping with any woman that moves because I can. Be like Ricky by getting naïve stupid girls pregnant, and then ignoring them, while I continue to sleep with other women. Or have a guy that is totally clueless to how selfish and inconsiderate a guy can be and letting him do all the work, then moving in and taking credit for all he has done. Or using someone who is already fragile from the horrible life she has had to live and using her, and using her till she is to broken too love anyone else including herself. Or do you mean by being a great father to a child I never even wanted. Or a fiancé and boyfriend to a girl who I only used in a one night stand at band camp. Or do you mean by pretending to be so lonely because I was molested by my father, and my mom used drugs. I CAN'T BE LIKE HIM DAD! I don't want to be like him. You never molested me, so I don't have an excuse for my actions. My mom didn't use drugs she died remember.

I can't be a father to my little girl because she died before she was even born. I tried to use a woman for sex like Ricky, did and that didn't turn out so well remember. I can't even be a husband to the woman I love because she is too busy sleeping with every guy who will show her attention just to get the love that I was too stupid to give her, all because of my obsession with a girl, that only used me for two years. All, so the creep that knocked her up could steal my life from me, while he whored himself around school, and town to every woman with a pulse.

Ben, Leo said with a saddened voice. He never realized just how much Ben felt he had lost, until then. He always knew that Ben was still hurting from the loss of his mother, and his daughter, but he never realized how much. He also never realized that Ben, was so jealous of Ricky, or how he had helped that jealousy evolve. No, Dad, Ben cut him off. This is real, I have been a big disappointment to you, and lets' face it Ricky's everything you could want as a son. He's even won the governor award winner, and engaged to Amy so you know what go ahead and adopt him. I'm, sure Margaret and Shakur, wouldn't mind sharing him with you. But, let me clear the air first. I wasn't going to use those drugs, I bought them when I thought I was at my lowest today when I saw Adrian, and Hank, but this beats that moment, so thanks.

I even decided that I was going to throw them, away and be the son you wanted me to be. But, Ricky already is so you can have him, take him, give him the shop, the company, all your money, even your last name, I don't give a damn anymore. You can punish me it's your house, and I do live under your roof, so I have to live by your rules. But, I'm almost out of high school, and as soon as I am you can have your perfect life with Camille, Ricky, Amy, John, and whoever. I'm leaving and getting the hell out of here, and never coming back.

Leo was taken in shock, at all of Ben's statements, somewhere in all that happened, from his marriage to Betty to Ben's marriage to Adrian, he lost his son. As, Ben walked into his room he slammed the door, and Leo heard the click as he clocked it. Leo then turned and went back to his own room, where Camille lied in his bed waiting for him. He put the drugs he had found on the night stand and sat down, slowly on the side of the bed. Camille, looked at Leo, and touched his shoulder with a loving expression. She leaned into him and tried to console him for she had heard the entire argument between he, and Ben.

What is happening to the two of us, Camille. Ben, and I used to be so close, and we could tell each other anything. Now it feels as if he and I are two different people, people who are complete strangers. I just don't know what to do anymore, Leo said with his voice filled with sorrow and regret. Well, you could try and start by talking to him Leo, Camille responded. We, have talked, he replied. Really, Leo she responded. Because so far you haven't even asked him how he really feels about divorcing Adrian, or about him losing Mercy.

He told me how he felt, and how it made him feel when we were in therapy together, Leo replied. Leo, do you really think that Ben told you all how he really feels, or did he just tell you parts of it. Ben, is a kind, and selfless person who doesn't want to bring pain or heartache to anyone. He keeps his own pain inside so no one really knows how he is hurting, because he wants to be the son he thinks you want him to be. He's just to kind to bring it all to the surface, and now I think for once in his life he is finally letting the real Ben, come out.

But, Camille he told me that he wanted to get a divorce, heck he even moved out because the situation was so bad, he only stayed for Adrian. Leo, did it ever occur to you that he wanted out, because he didn't know what else to do. She was his wife, and she was hurting and he couldn't find a way to stop it. He stayed because, he loved her but he wanted to leave because he didn't know how to fix the situation.

Why do you think he got drunk after he left, Ben was hurting, and he felt guilty. He just didn't know what to do, and when Adrian decided that she wanted him to leave, he decided that perhaps it was for the best. But, for her to want him to leave because like Amy, she also wanted Ricky was even more of a blow to his pride. Because he feels that Ricky is still the better man, while as usual he never measures up to the situation. I can understand that Camille, Leo responded. You don't think that I haven't realized by now that Ben feels inferior to Ricky.

Well Leo, Camille began, have you? You were the one that offered Ricky, a job at your shop, and gave him the apartment. I was trying to help. Leo replied. Help who Leo, Ricky, or Ben. You gave Ricky the apartment that was supposed to be for Ben, when he got older. But, instead you gave it to the man, who impregnated his girlfriend, and used it to seduce his current wife and God knows how many other women.

Leo was surprised to hear Camille talk about Ricky like this, not because she talked as though she didn't like Ricky, but because she was right. He gave the apartment to Ricky in order for him to help raise John, and help him prove to Amy that he was responsible enough to be a father. But, he had to admit from all the reports he got from Bunny, during the first two years he lived there, Ricky did not use the apartment for the reason's he intended. So, you're saying that by me helping Ricky, all I did was hurt Ben in the process, Leo replied. No, I'm saying that you can't always have it both ways.

I know you love Ricky like a son, and that you feel bad for him, and all he has had to endure. But, Ricky isn't your son, and Ben is, and so far Ben has not only had to compete with Ricky for Amy, and John, and Adrian, but also for you. But, unlike Ricky, Ben doesn't have another family to fall back on, if he loses, Camille said with sorrow. Ricky's dad was a horrible person, if you can even call him his dad. And although Nora was not there for him when he was a child she is here for him now, and from what I've seen she is a good woman, now that she is getting help for her problem.

But, on top of that Ricky has Shakur, and Margaret, and they've been there for him for so long. Ben doesn't have that, he only had you me, Bunny, and his friends. He doesn't come to me for support because he always felt as though he was betraying his mom. Bunny, has her own children to take care of, and she has even taken Ricky, under her wing. You took a liking to Ricky, and he feels, all he does is let you down. Now, his friends have in a way abandoned him, so what does he do in order to get rid of all the feelings that he has kept locked away for so long.

So, you're saying that I may be the reason my son is drinking, and doing drugs. Leo, I'm saying that you are the reason your son, and you are not close. Maybe it's time you stop trying to be a friend, and father figure to everyone else, and start being a father to him. But, with this thing with Betty, and the company, when do I have the time. Leo said with remorse in his voice for realizing the truth in Camille's words. Maybe the company is where you need to start, you always said that you wanted, Ben to take control of the company one day, so perhaps you should get him more involved in it, Camille stated.

But, he doesn't want to be involved in the company, you've heard him, Leo replied. Well, maybe his punishment should be that he gets more involved. I mean you always said that he had a good head on his shoulders for business, and even though I haven't been there in a while. I know the mailroom could use some help. Camille said with enthusiasm. You know what, Leo said with a happy tone, thank you for being with me, because I don't think I could have thought of this on my own.

**THE NEXT MORNING BOYKEWICH ESTATE 8:00 AM**

Leo woke up early, and decided to go into the kitchen, and make breakfast for the entire family, he, Ben, and Camille. He realized that it had been years since he had done that for his son, made him breakfast, and today he decided he wanted to make a fresh start with him, and hopefully, get more perspective on Ben's feelings. Ben, however did not wake up in a good mood the day before had haunted his dreams, he remembered seeing Adrian, and Henry together.

He dreamed of the brutal beating he gave to Henry, and buying drugs at that gas station, he also remembered how he almost slept with Alice. But, most of all he remembered what his father had said to him about how he should be more like Ricky. Usually he would apologize for the words he had spoken to his father, and how he reacted to the pot his father found. But, he wouldn't not after those words his father spoke to him.

He swore to keep his promise to Mercy and his mom about being a better man, but he decided that after that statement he would be his own man. My own man he thought, for so long he had been trying to follow in his father's footsteps, and doing what he thought his dad would have done. But, so far that only left him with shame, and disappointment. Now, he would do what he wanted, sure he would still live by his fathers' rules but, only until graduation and only on his terms.

As Ben, got up from Bed he began to smell, eggs, pancakes, and sausage cooking, since the cook usually had the weekend off he wondered who was making breakfast. As he sat in his room, there was a knock at his door, and in appeared Leo with a full tray of food. Morning, son was all Leo could say as he came into the room with the platter. Good morning, was Ben's only response. Ben, Leo began I know last night I was angry for what I found, and I'm sorry for how I responded. Don't, Ben stopped him.

Don't apologize for something that we both know that you meant. I don't want to try and smooth this over with food, and apologies, because it can't be smoothed over, and accept for the drugs, which I was already going to throw away, I have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry that I bought drugs, and that I bought them into your house, and I intend to take whatever punishment you have for me. But, I'm not sorry for what I said, and I meant every last word.

I'm not going to stay here any longer than I have to just so I can keep up this competition of trying to be your son "The Sausage Prince". My whole life, that's all people knew me as; "The Sausage Prince", or "Leo Boykewich's Son", and I'm tired of it. I have spent my whole life trying to do what you would do, and yes I went overboard with it _a lot. I went overboard with both Amy, and Adrian, but not anymore. From now on I'm just going_ to be Ben. So tell me what my punishment is so I can start figuring who that is.

Leo, looked at Ben with somewhat proud, and at the same time an angry expression. He never really wanted Ben, to be like him but his own man, at the same time he wanted Ben to carry, his values. Now he realized he never really explained to Ben, how to do that. He himself didn't know how Ben could be his own man, and at the same time have the values that he grew up with.

In this day, and age Leo realized that the rules that his own mother and father raised him with no longer applied in this day, and age so perhaps Ben did the best he could. He didn't leave Amy when she was pregnant with John, he stayed by her side and was their even after he was born. He even allowed Amy to be the one to decide when the relationship was over. He also did the same thing with Adrian. Sure he left once, but last night after his conversation with Camille, he realized that she was right. He himself was older than, Ben yet he could not let go of his own feelings for both Sarah, and Camille to save his marriage to Betty.

So, how could he judge Ben any different for not knowing what to do after losing his daughter, and then being so young and married. His relationship with Adrian had started so suddenly, and the reason which brought them together was also not valid. He also had to admit, that perhaps he and Reuben rushed the relationship to fast, and Ben being so young and still hung up on Amy was just swept away by everything just as Adrian was.

Now, Ben looked at Leo as he remembered looking at his own father when he told him that he and Sarah wanted to get married. His father was a harsh man, who believed in the traditional marriage, which usually meant that it was the parents who selected the bride. But, Leo had loved Sarah, since he was eleven years old and he was hard set on making her his wife, so his father could not refuse his request. Leo never understood what made his father so upset about, him wanting to marry Sarah so young, and after Ben wanted to marry Adrian so young he understood.

Ben, wanted to be seen as a man to his father just as he wanted to be seen as a man to his own father23. But, unlike Ben Leo was ready for that responsibility, and would let nothing deter him from his destiny with Sarah. Now Benjamin looked at him just as he did, and Leo realized his son had finally become the man that he thought he wanted Ben to be, but at what cost.

Well, seeing as I you are adamant about this Ben, I decided that last night, you I lost both trust and faith in your ability to reason. So, from now on until I believe that you can be trusted to make better judgment, you will not be allowed to be on your own. Leo replied. That would be, Ben asked. You will give me your car keys' and from this point on Mike will be driving you again wherever it is that you have to go, Leo answered back.

You will also be going to summer school, that way you can occupy your time with studies and nothing else. You will also keep you cell phone with you at all times, it has GPS, and I will be calling you periodically so I know where you are. Sounds reasonable, Ben said, as he reached for his car keys and handed them to Leo. Also you won't be working in the butcher shop any longer, I want to keep a closer eye on you and have decided to place you in the mail room at the company.

What, Ben said. I don't mind not working at the shop, anymore I was going to quit anyway, but why the mail room at the company. I told you I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I know what you said Ben, Leo retorted, but like I told you on more than one occasion, I built this company for you, and its' about time you truly learned to appreciate what I did, so I could leave you something to inherit.

Ben, I know I have put a lot of interest in Ricky, and I know I probably escalated this rivalry, between you two. But, what I did for Ricky was, because I felt sympathy for him and what he has gone through, and I never intended for it to mean that I loved him more than I loved you.

Boykewich Industries, is your birth right and heritage not his. I really hope by working with me you will begin to understand that. You're my son, and I love you, and even though I am proud of Ricky for his accomplishments, I am even more proud of you for all of yours. You stepped up, and you were there for both Amy, and Adrian when they needed someone. You were there for Ricky, when he needed a friend, and I'm sorry that I didn't realize that no one was there for you when you needed someone in return.

I hope, this summer you will begin to see, that you are my son and the only person in this world who I would do anything for. And, I'm sorry for all you have had to endure, but I hope you and I can overcome that together, as family, Leo said with much heart in feeling in his voice. But, even as he said it Ben, did not take it in, he only looked at Leo, and said. Well, Dad you can try. But, I don't think it will change anything, I still intend to leave next year as soon, as they say I'm done. And summer school will only help me get out of here faster. Ben replied with little empathy in his voice. Well maybe at the end of this summer son you won't feel that way, Leo responded. I doubt it Ben replied back.

So where is Mike? Ben asked. He hasn't made it in yet he should be here about nine o'clock why. I need him to take me somewhere, I also need the Adrian's ring back. Ben, you aren't going to see her, not after yesterday. Yes, I am, like I have some things I have to put straight, and one of those things is her. Dad please, Ben said as he looked at his father with a look of pride. Okay Leo responded as he went into the den to call Mike and retrieve the sapphire ring Adrian had given him the night before.

**LATER AT THE CONDO….**

Adrian, was beginning to pull her clothes from the drawers as she looked around her bedroom, that she once shared with Ben, and remembered how they first came in so happy. She was wearing her wedding dress, and Ben his tux, they stood in the doorway looking into one another's eyes with such passion, and love. It was then that she saw Ben, knock on the bedroom door, and walk in. Ben, she said with shock not expecting to see him. I was just getting my things. Why, he asked looking confused. Because, I figured that after what happened, you would want to take it back, I mean… Adrian stop, Ben interrupted her.

I came to talk to you about that, and let you know that it doesn't affect anything between you and me. What!, Adrian said with a shrill shock in her voice. Ben, I don't deserve your kindness, or your friendship after what I did, and I definitely don't deserve to stay in this condo, at your expense. Well, considering everything that has happened, it's the least I can do. Ben replied. Ben, are you okay, because you didn't do anything wrong, I'm the one that messed up our marriage, and our friendship.

Adrian, Ben said with a kind tone. I'm the one that messed up our marriage, and in a way our friendship. I slept with you when we both were vulnerable, and angry. Yeah, you propositioned me, and I should have said no, but I didn't. I let my anger, and my hormones, get the best of me, and instead of thinking about our actions, I just chose to make more bad decisions.

You were pregnant, and I should have just been your friend, and the father to our child, and let whatever happened between us happen, not try and rush into a marriage to please our parents. I also should have kept the vows, that I made to you when we were married for better or worse. We lost our daughter, and that was the worse anyone can ever go through, and I didn't stick by you. Instead I was ready to run, because I was a coward who couldn't deal with my grief let alone yours. You were my wife, and my friend, I should have been there for you. Ben, you were, Adrian responded. I was the one who let my stupid slutty side get back into my head and destroy everything like I always do.

Adrian, STOP! Ben, yelled. You are not a slut, and you made mistakes, you're human, and you made bad choices. We both made bad choices. But, the only thing we can do now is try to learn from those mistakes, and not make them anymore. Ben, Adrian said with a tear coming from her eye. Why do you do that? Why do you let me hurt you, and still try and make me feel better? Because, Adrian you're my friend and I care about you. You were the mother of my child, and legally still my wife. I broke a promise to you once, and I don't intend to break another one. I promised to always be your friend, and be there for you no matter what, and that is a promise I intend to keep. But, Ben; what about you and Henry, she asked. Henry, and I are different, I made no such promise to him, and he is on a different level than you and I.

But, Ben. Adrian was about to say, before Ben put his finger to her lips. Adrian, this is my choice to make who to forgive, and who not too, not yours. And, no matter what you say, I'm still going to forgive you. Ben responded. But, why Ben was all Adrian, could reply. Because, maybe if you can see that I can forgive you, you'll finally start to realize that you should forgive yourself. Here, you left this at my house, Ben told her as he held the sapphire ring in his hand offering it to her. Ben, I don't deserve to wear this anymore. Adrian, you don't have to wear it, but you do have to keep it. I promised it to you and only you, as a symbol of our friendship to one another.

Adrian, took the ring with a heavy heart, and tears falling from her eyes. She wondered to herself, why she could not have realized, that Ben, unlike others truly cared for, and loved her. She looked at him, and saw something in his eyes that she couldn't quite put her finger on, as thought the Ben talking to her was different from the one she married. He still appeared sweet, and understanding, yet there was something different. He, lowered himself kissed her forhead, and hugged her.

Then he turned to leave. Ben she said, as he was leaving maybe we can hang out sometime this summer, I mean after my classes. Well, I don't think I will have the time, but I'll try, Ben said. I'll see you in summer school, he yelled back as he walked out the door. Summer school, she ran after him wondering about his last remark. Ben, I thought you didn't have to go to summer school, she asked. I didn't at first, but I made one more mistake last night that I have to atone for. Its why I had to be driven here. What did your dad, take your car or something. Yeah, Mike is my new babysitter. He responded with a sly grin and got inside the limo and drove away.

Adrian, went back into the condo and sat down holding the ring. She began to think about, what was so different about her soon to be ex-husband. Then she realized his eyes were not the same. Somehow Ben, had lost that innocent doe eyed expression that she so loved about him. She sat back on her sofa, and brought her knees to her chin wondering what else she made Ben, lose after he caught her, and Henry together. Why she thought. Why do I only bring him pain, when all he does try to bring me joy. She wondered as she turned the ring in her hands.

.


	8. SCHOOLS IN FOR SUMMER

**SCHOOLS IN FOR SUMMER**

Ricky slowly uncurled himself from Amy and looked at her and smiled. He then kissed her on the cheek as she awoke and whispered good morning to her. She looked at him with tired eyes, and wiped away the sleep and said good morning back with a smile. Ricky arose and went into the kitchen to begin making breakfast for he, Amy, and John. Amy came fully awake and went into John's room to check on him. John turned over in his bed and looked at his mother with light grin. She then went into her son's room and uncovered him from his blanket. John began to laugh, and run around the room as Amy chased him to continue their morning ritual where they chased one another in an attempt to get John ready for the day.

Amy was a bit annoyed for it seemed that the older John got the more active, and energetic he would become. But, this was hard considering she did not have the energy to keep up with him. She and Ricky allowed this game for a week because neither had school for a while but she had failed her last English exam and was told that she would have to attend summer classes in order to make up for it. Today was the beginning of Summer School, and she did not have the patience to deal with this.

Ricky yelled at Amy from the kitchen that breakfast would be ready in a while, and she should hurry to get she and John ready to go. Amy, finally caught up to John and began the hard task of getting John his bath, and dressed for daycare. She filled the bath tub with the hot water and got out Johns' bath toys. As she turned around John disappeared out of the bathroom naked. John, Amy yelled as she chased her son into the kitchen. Ricky, saw his son running toward him smiling and giggling as he ran from his mother as naked as the day he was born.

As Ricky saw his son and finacee in the mist of their daily routine he couldn't help but laugh as this happened now at a routine. Amy however was not laughing since she was running late. John she screamed as she finally caught up to him. Why do you do this every morning. Come on Amy he usually does this to keep us in shape its better than jogging. Amy looked at him with a sour face and turned to take their son into the bathroom and get him ready.

As Amy finished getting John dressed she called Ricky who came into the bathroom and took his son so he could allow Amy to get ready for school. He himself would have to take John to daycare, and then open up the shop. This was new to him being a family man during the summer. Usually he would allow himself time to sleep in and go to work at noon, but now that he and Amy were getting married he thought it best to start working more hours in order to save for a bigger place, and the future. He had hoped that since he was now a high school graduate that he could apply for an internship job in the mail room of the company, but Ben had quit or was fired and was now working there. He wondered what had happened the day after the party to Ben, and Leo which he noticed caused friction between the two.

He thought if any friction would come it would come from Adrian. He knew that she would do something at the party in order to get over her humiliation by both he and her date, but why Ben he wondered. Usually Adrian would have turned her anger towards he and Amy, not her soon to be ex-husband. He tried to contact Ben after the party, but for some reason Ben refused to take calls from he or Amy. Ricky figured he was mad, and just wanted to be alone, later he learned from Jack who was told by Grace that Ben was on punishment from Leo, and he had spoken to Adrian after the "Incident" he called it.

Ricky remembered how he and Amy had talked about how they would deal with Adrian's advances towards him since they did not want her to come between she and he during their engagement. They figured that by giving her what she wanted at the party they would be free of her and teach her a lesson as well. But, he had to admit, he thought they should have used more tact than just kissing her like that in front of everyone. He didn't figure that she was dating someone so soon after Ben, and her advances towards him.

But, after the kiss and admitting to feeling nothing then dumped and be embarrassed like that must have been a shock to her ego. He thought it was nice of Ben to comfort her later, and that maybe she and Ben could work through their problems. But he later saw him talking to a new girl at the party. This thrilled Amy, who thought it would do Ben good, but deep down he knew she just didn't want Ben with Adrian. He could never figure why she hated Adrian so much, when in his own mind he actually saw similarities between Adriana and Amy though he would never tell that to either.

Amy came out of the shower just as John was finishing his breakfast oatmeal and juice with French toast. Amy came out wearing a red sweater, black tights and black boots. Ricky looked her over and whistled. Are you trying to make me jealous or are you trying to catch someone's attention at school. No, she said with a frown, this was all I had to wear since I forgot to do the laundry at my Dad's last night. She looked at him with a frown, and sat down to eat. Well, when you get home from work how about we go and do it then. We can even stop by and see your dad, and mom since we have both been avoiding them after the engagement. I know she said wryly. I don't want to hear their objections to us getting married.

We are not getting married right away Amy we are just engaged, he commented. We still have to get you out of high school, and me a better job and place to live. I know, I know. Amy said hoarsely. I think its kind of wrong that you and I stay here in this little apartment while Adrian gets to keep that huge two bedroom condo all to herself at Ben's expense. Well she is Ben's ex-wife, or soon to be ex-wife, and Ben said that he wanted her to have it. Stop being so jealous of Adrian, Amy.

She might have the condo, but she doesn't have Ben anymore or her baby True, Amy replied remembering Adrian had lost much more than she had gained. Deep down she felt sorry for everything Adrian had gone through, but she also felt jealous of her as well. Adrian was Ben's first, the mother of his first child, and also his first real wife, something she once wanted for herself. Amy you should get going, or you'll be late for school, Ricky said snapping her out of her thoughts.

**LATER AT GRANT HIGH **

Ben looked at Mike through the car glass as he knocked on it and informed Ben that he would be back at 1:00 PM on the dot, to collect him. Although Mike liked Ben a lot he too was disappointed in Ben for actually thinking of smoking marijuana. Ben, had been part of Mike's life since he was only three years old, and he was hired by Leo to act both as driver and body guard to Sarah & Ben Boykewich. It was a security precaution since, Leo's brother had informed him that he had received some threatening letters from members' of an opposing family. Although Ben didn't know the intricate details of his family's wealth Mike did. Leo's father was once a bag man for the mob, and allowed them to use his shop to launder money.

When Leo discovered this after his father's death he immediately put a stop to it. However, the mob did not take lightly to the dissolving of their partnership. Leo, paid a fee of $250,000 dollars to them in order to secure the safety of his family. Much of the money came from his new father in law who was a very wealthy man. Leo decided that he would not keep secrets from his family, and told Mr. O'Riley Sarah's father about his situation. Mr. O'Riley being descendant of an Irish Mob Family was able to free his son in law of the mob at a hefty price. With that Phillip gave Leo a $500,000.00 dowry, which he had saved for Sarah. Phillip was the owner of a large Bank, and sold his shares in order to help his son in law, and protect his daughter.

Ben, was totally oblivious to much of this history, save for his cousin in Italy who had taken, a mob job for some unknown reason. But, Mike knew the history well since he and Leo grew up together. Mike himself was an ex-employee of the mob, but was sent to prison for assault, after taking on an assignment .

Leo decided to help his old friend get back on his feet, and into a better line of work when he got out of jail. Leo gave Mike the job because he knew Mike was loyal, and honest, and would never let anything happen to his family. Mike worked for Leo for almost fifteen years now, and had noticed since Ben started high school his young charge had changed significantly in recent years due to the company he now kept.

He blamed much of Bens' troubles on Ricky Underwood. He thought Ricky reminded him too much of himself. Always ready to take on any task in order to prove himself. Ben, tried to be like Leo and be there for the people he cared about. But, Mike realized that Ben, mostly took after his mother. Who Mike remembered had a big heart, but would sometimes take on too much at once and would become overwhelmed.

Ben, looked at Mike with a frown and got out of the car. As he closed the door Mike drove beside him and repeated "ONE O" CLOCK. As Ben headed towards the school doors, he saw many of his class mates looking at him and whispering among themselves. He figured they must be gossiping about what happened at the party since, his attack on Henry did leave a few bruises.

He knew that his experiment with marijuana was not the topic since it would most likely be kept secret between he and his father. As he entered Grant High, he was met by Madison, who seemed down and sad for some reason. As he walked up to her he asked if she was alright. No Ben I'm anything but alright. You weren't the only one at the party who got hurt. Yeah, I heard Ben said as he remembered Alice calling him the week before, and telling him the story of how Lauren caught Madison and Jesse together. Well, if I can forgive Adrian Madison maybe Lauren can forgive you. No, she replied with tears coming from her eyes. You forgave Adrian, not Henry we all know that. Which means Lauren will probably forgive Jesse before she forgives me.

Ben couldn't help but feel sorry for the girls seeing as she was probably right. To, Ben forgiving Adrian seemed like the right thing to do since it was her nature to use sex in order to escape her pain.

But, Henry should have known better. Ben actually confided in Henry this secret, which made it worse in his eyes. Henry was asked by him to keep an eye on Adrian, to ensure she didn't make anymore mistakes. But, instead he took advantage of her situation, which made Ben want to hit him again as he thought about it. But, Lauren knows that Jesse was trying to lose his virginity, so there is a chance that she knows he took advantage of you, he said trying to comfort her.

Yeah, you're right Ben, Madison smiled finally able to have some hope that she had not lost her best friend. Thanks for talking to me, it's nice to know that you're still a nice a guy especially after all that's happened. Well, Madison I wouldn't say I' that nice. I just don't like to see a pretty girl cry, Ben said in a kind tone. This remark caused, Madison to turn and blush knowing that great guy like Ben thought she was pretty. As she was, about to thank Ben for his kind compliment Lauren came from behind and yelled, well trying to sleep with Amy's ex-boyfriend too Madison.

Madison, turned to look at Lauren with the same look as she had when Ben first saw her. Ben turned to Lauren, and said in a calming tone Lauren we were just talking about how bad she felt about what happened at the party. Ben, you should be the last person defending Madison, after what you did to Henry, Lauren replied. Honestly you did what I wanted to do to Madison. I can't believe you would forgive either of them much less Adrian. Ben, looked at Lauren and said you're right Lauren but this is not my problem and I should let you and Madison talk and work this out among yourselves. As Ben walked towards his locker he spotted Hank coming towards him still wearing the scars from his assault at the party. Henry walked slowly towards Ben's locker and attempted to make conversation with him.

So, nice to see you Ben well at least out of one eye since I can't really focus the other. Ben, did not acknowledge the comment he simply continued to place items in his locker when his phone rang. Hello, yes dad I'm at school and yes Mike told me 1'0 clock sharp. He hung up and Henry still tried to get Ben to acknowledge him. So is there trouble in the kingdom, he said jokingly. Ben simply shut his locker and walked away without even a word. Henry felt ripped apart inside that Ben neither yelled or even hit him but simply ignored him. He did not know which felt worse that his best friend hated him or that he simply felt nothing toward him.

As Ben walked away from Henry Amy entered the hallway, and saw Madison and Lauren arguing with one another. She decided that she would try and calm the situation between her two friends. Madison you're a hypocrite all you seem to do is sleep with other people's boyfriends, Lauren spat at Madison. Lauren, I didn't mean to sleep with him I was drunk and he simply took advantage of me. Yeah, and I suppose you were drunk when Jack and you hooked up too, Lauren replied. Lauren, I'm sorry I didn't mean for this too happen you are my best friend, and this is just like when you kissed Ricky. At that point Amy intervened and asked Madison how the situation between what happened to she and Jesse resembled what had happened to Lauren and Ricky. Amy, butt out Lauren snapped this has nothing to do with you. Lauren, Amy replied shocked that Lauren had attacked her.

Amy this is just as much your fault as it is Madison 's. When we all started high school we all took an oath we wouldn't get swept up in the whole sex thing. Then you go and have sex, with Ricky and draw Madison and I into it. What, did you say, Amy asked becoming furious at Lauren's comment. You heard me, she replied. Then you go on about your business keeping Ben, as a boyfriend all so you can use him. Lauren that is not fair, I never used Ben, I loved Ben you know that, as she replied to her remark.

Well if you loved him Amy how come you're engaged to Ricky. Lauren, Madison said calm down. Amy is the mother of Ricky's baby. Oh, please Madison Lauren snorted you were here only a few minutes ago flirting with Ben. WHAT! Amy said as she shot an angry glare at Madison. Why were you trying to flirt with Ben, Madison, Amy asked in a shocked tone. Amy it's not like that, and even if it were you and he aren't together anymore so it shouldn't matter, Madison said innocently.

Amy, continued to glare at Madison, she replied. You know Madison I was on the phone with Lauren trying to get her to forgive you. But, if this is how you are going to treat our friendship then I don't know why we were friends in the first place. Amy, how have you been anyone's friend she replied. All you have been doing since we started high school is complaining about how you didn't want to be pregnant. Complaining about how you didn't want to have sex with Ricky. And then complaining about how you wanted Ricky to marry you. Lauren and I have listened to all your problems, so when have you been a friend to either of us. Well excuse me Madison, Amy replied. I have been busy, trying to keep my family together.

Trying to study, and keep a job, and be with my boyfriend. Not to mention raise my son. Oh please, Amy the only time you even think of your son is when you need to use him to get some guy's attention. Either Ricky or Ben, you only use John as some kind of fashion accessory., responded Madison. Amy became frustrated at the last comment, and walked away. Leaving behind a large crowd consisting of Ben, Henry, Joe, Adrian, and half of the summer school student's of Grant High who immediately began texting those who missed this event of the confrontation between the three BFF's.

**LATER THAT DAY AS SCHOOL CLASSES ENDED  
**

Ben began, to take his books out of his locker and prepare himself for Mike's arrival, it was then he spotted Adrian walking toward him. Adrian shot Ben a smile, and was about to speak to him when she noticed Amy walking up from behind him. Ben, hi she said as she startled the young man who was not expecting her. Look, I've been trying to get in touch with you since the party, but you haven't accepted any of my calls she said. Yeah, well I have been busy, and I was meaning to try and talk to both you and Ricky hopefully together, Ben said sourly.

Really why, Amy asked. Actually, I have been thinking that maybe we all shouldn't hang out anymore, its just getting kind of awkward, he replied. Awkward, Ben we're friends. Amy that's what I've been thinking, I don't think we can be friends. What do you mean she said becoming upset. Amy, it's really hard trying to figure how I can be your friend after what you and Ricky did to Adrian at the party. What are you talking about Ben, we didn't do anything wrong, Amy said now angry.

Nothing wrong, Amy do you ever do anything wrong, he replied. You sleep with Ricky after knowing him a few hours wasn't wrong. Your being pregnant, and hiding it from me when we first started dating wasn't wrong. Your continuous lies to me about how you really felt about Ricky wasn't wrong, You and Ricky kissing while Adrian and he were dating wasn't wrong. You, humiliating Adrian at the party in front of everyone wasn't wrong.

Do you and Ricky ever think that maybe some of the things you do to people are wrong or is it always just everyone else who is wrong. You're blaming me and Ricky for Adrian sleeping with Henry Ben. We gave her what she asked for, and its not our fault if she couldn't take what she got. But, then again that's probably why she couldn't give birth to your daughter in the first place, she said furiously. Amy regretted those words before they were even out of her mouth, and she covered it with her hand after seeing Adrian had overheard her.

Adrian heard the comment, and was about to walk up to Amy when Ben intervened. You know what Amy SHUT UP. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP. What happened to my daughter was no one's fault, and for you to say that, finally makes me glad. You know I always felt guilty for sleeping with Adrian, the way I did. I even got mad at her for why we ended up sleeping together. But, now I see it was a good thing that I slept with her. Because, that night I was with someone who was honest, and actually cared about me. And now I can honestly say it was the best night of my life, and I no longer feel guilty about it.

It allowed me to be with someone who actually loved me and wasn't looking to use me. Instead of a lying, selfish, gold digging slut like you. Yeah, I said it Amy slut. You called Adrian that on so many occasions, and I wonder how does it make you feel to be on the other end of that word. Ben, then slammed his locker and walked down the hall toward Adrian, he took her hand and walked out of the school together. Thanks Ben, Adrian said as she turned towards him.

No problem, he said. It actually felt good saying that, now Amy Jeurgens knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her own medicine. Adrian kissed Ben on the side of the cheek and went towards her car, just as Mike pulled up to collect Ben. At the same time Amy rushed into the bathroom went into one of the stalls and began to cry. She didn't just cry for what Ben had said but because she thought what he said may have been true.


	9. BAD MEMORIES

**_BAD MEMORIES_**

I own nothing the characters and show are property of Brenda Hampton and the Producers of ABCFAMILY. The story you are reading is my own creation however.

Ben got out of the limousine and left his backpack and other items in the backseat, as Mike opened the door for him to get out. Well your dad told me that he might ride back with you if he had no other important business to attend to. But if does he made sure I was to remember that this will be your routine everyday during the summer. School. From eight to twelve, and work from one to five. Mike looked at Ben with a disappointed expression which made Ben look away from guilt. I under stand Mike, and I will be here when you arrive. Ben I know I am only your dad's driver, but I have been around you since the day you were born Ben, and I would like to think that you had better since than to use drugs.

Mike, Ben said in an apologetic tone. I do know better, that's why I didn't use it. But, when I bought it I wasn't thinking clearly, and didn't know what I was doing. I know that is no excuse for my actions, but I truly am sorry. And Mike, I don't think of you as just a driver. You have been around me since I was a kid and I am sorry that I disappointed you the way I did, and I promise not to disappoint you or anyone else like that ever again. Ben stated looking at Mike in the eyes. Ben, that is easy for you to say but as I have told you many times before actions speak much louder than words. Okay, Ben said as he walked towards the door leading into the office complex.

As he entered the building Devon the security officer in charge of the front desk met him at the entrance and provided Ben with a security pass to get into the building. Why do I need this Devon, Ben responded. All employees are required to have one Ben, its part of the new security policy this is how we make sure that the only people who have access to this building are actually suppose to be in this building, Devon replied. Since when did we need these things, Ben asked.

Well in recent month's your dad has had a little trouble with security so he wants to make sure no one walks away with any of his company secrets. Okay, I guess I will have to start getting used to this. I guess you should Ben since this will one day be your company. Yeah, well with all the mistakes I have been making lately I doubt my dad will want me to run his company. Ben, you're Leo's son, and the last Boykewich heir, the only person Leo would want to take over his company is you, But, it's up to you to decide whether or not you can handle the responsibility.

Well, I hope I can Ben replied. Because so far all I seem to do is take on responsibility, that I'm not ready for. Maybe because you are trying to take on too much too soon. Ben, you're only seventeen, and you have the rest of your life to settle down and get married. Also I heard about you and the wife I'm really sorry that happened to you, Devon said looking apologetic. It's okay Ben said as he looked at he tall middle aged African American. I guess we both took on too much too soon, Ben stated. Well Marriage is just like a business Ben, you have to work hard at it in order to get a profit, Devon said. Maybe we should have worked harder, Ben said as he got onto the elevator to ascend to the top floor.

As Ben got off the elevator on his fathers floor he was met by Nora who, greeted him with steely brown eyes, and a sneer. Ben, what in God's name were you thinking, she said as she got up from her desk and walked up to him. So, my Dad told you about my little incident I guess, Ben stated calmly. Little Incident, Ben why on earth were you smoking pot, or thinking about smoking pot. Do you want me to get high in front of you to teach you that drugs are bad like I did with the alcohol. Because I care about you kid, but there are some things where I draw the line, Nora said with sneer. No, Nora you don't have to do anything like that it was a one time incident just like the beer.

Ben, maybe it's a good thing that you and Adrian are getting a divorce because so far every time you are around that girl she does something that sends' you down a dark path. And I should know I was in a similar relationship. Nora, Don't! Ben said with an angry tone. Don't try and compare my marriage or my relationship with Adrian to your relationship with Bob. Because, none of this might never have happened if your son wouldn't have embarrassed Adrian at the party just to make some Act of loyalty to Amy..

Ben, Nora stood in shock at his response. I didn't mean anything bad by that, but look at everything that you're doing. Yeah, Nora I know what you meant. You meant that Adrian is bad for me and Amy and Ricky did nothing wrong. But, you know what it's done and its over. I didn't smoke the pot, and Adrian and I are getting a divorce. While your son and Amy are getting married so worry about your son and his family, and let me do what ever it is I need to do. Ben, I'm sorry if offended you but look what's happening to you. What is happening to me, Nora. Ben asked. Because so far I don't know what is happening to me, and I don't think you know me well enough to make any judgments about me, Ben responded. You're right Ben I don't know you that well, but I do care about you, she replied as she went back to her desk.

Ben, breathe a sigh and approached her with a sorrowful tone. Nora, I'm sorry for what I said, but I am so tired of everyone criticizing me for my relationship with Adrian, and how things turned out. I know me having the pot was a bad choice, but I didn't smoke it. I just thought about it, because after everything that happened I just wanted to feel numb for a while, he said.

Ben, I know exactly what you're saying. But, that numbness only last for a moment, and then you will find yourself craving it again, and the more you use the faster the numbness goes away, and the more you crave it. After a while you will find more drugs, harder drugs to erase those feelings, and I got to tell you kid it's not worth it. Sure, your life is shitty right now, but that feeling only last for awhile, and you don't crave it. But, sooner or later it goes away, and things get better so try and get better soon. Nora told him as she looked at the young man feeling sorry for all he had gone through in the past year.

So, is my Dad in Ben said. Yeah, I'm in he told Ben as he stood in the doorway having listened to the entire conversation. And I am proud and thankful to you Nora for being able to talk to my son about this without giving him, a live demonstration. Trust me boss Nora said I learned my lesson the last time. But, now since we all have said our apologies, I think it's time that Ben got started with his new job in the mailroom.. Leo stated. Right, Dad, Ben replied with a somber tone. Leo then opened the elevator, and pointed Ben to walk ahead of him into the elevator.

Nora sat at her desk, and watched the father, and son team disappear behind the closing doors. She sat, and wondered why Ben would become so defensive of Adrian, after she slept with his best friend. She also wondered what he meant when he said that Ricky humiliated Adrian at the grad party. She had heard from Margaret and Shakur of her son's actions regarding his relationship with Adrian.

From what they had told her, Adrian wanted a committed relationship, but Ricky was being selfish and aloof with Adrian. Margaret was worried at first about Ricky being involved with a girl like Adrian and also having a child with Amy would affect him. But, from what she saw, she believed that Adrian was actually a positive influence for him, however she also believed that Ricky was a negative influence on her.

Nora, then sat back in her chair, and began to remember Bob, and how they first started.

FLASHBACK

_Bob was similar to the way Ricky was when he first started high school the hottest guy in school and she a shy teenager like Amy. She was shocked when he actually approached her to dance with her during the Junior Prom. She was so shy at being asked by this handsome man, and then when they started to kiss in his car it led to more, and later she lost her virginity to him. Bob, being devoutly religious was shunned by his family for getting a girl pregnant, and even though she opted to get an abortion, he forbade it. He said that they would raise their child on their own without the help of their families. Soon both dropped out of school, and were married at a quick wedding at City Hall. He got them a small two bedroom apartment, in a bad part of town, and began working at a factory, while she began working at a clothing store in town._

_Nora, remembered how hard it was on her, and Bob to keep up a happy life since neither had help, and there was little money for them. Not only that because Ricky came earlier than expected, she had quit her job because they couldn't afford daycare. In order to make up for all of the money needed for bills, Bob took on a second job to support all of them. Soon, he was tired and irritated easily by Ricky's crying. _

_She then learned that because of her stress she stopped giving milk, which meant more money for formula, which irritated Bob even more. Soon, he began drinking and staying out late with friends from work. This worried Nora who noticed the changes in Bob's personality, he became angrier, and his temper went off easily. He also started demanding sex of her more than usual. This soon led to a confrontation when she refused and he hit her and forced himself on her._

_Soon, it got worse. Bob began to hit and rape her on a regular basis. But, in time he eased off as Ricky became older and began to notice his father's behavior. After a while he stopped drinking and started using harder drugs, and became less interested in her. One day while Ricky was coloring , he ran up to his father and showed him a picture had made. Bob was watching T.V. and when Ricky blocked his view he hit their little boy in the face. This frightened Ricky who ran to her. At first Nora threatened Bob to stay away from her, but that only directed his attention at hitting her as well._

_Soon he was beating both she and her son. She soon went back to work at a local diner, and one day after a long day she came home and Bob having been using drugs, beat her for not having dinner ready. She saw his crack pipe on the table and smoked it. Soon she remembered that feeling of being numb and feeling nothing g that Ben had spoken of. So she began to use drugs as well, she thought if she only used them every once in a while she would be able to tolerate her marriage to Bob, at least for Ricky's sake._

_But, then came the day that changed everything. One day after having to work late and close up the diner she came home to a dark apartment. Usually Bob would be passed out from drugs or alcohol in front of the T.V. but she didn't see him. She figured he must be in bed or the can, so she went to check on Ricky when she heard cries coming from his room. There in front of her Bob, was molesting their seven year old son. She quickly grabbed the nearest item on the wall and tried to attack him. Bob, turned just in time to avoid the attack and she accidentally struck Ricky with a small plastic bat that left a large red bruise and made him cry even more. _

_Just as she was about to swing at Bob again, he grabbed her arm and began to attack her with such brutal force she thought he would kill her. She felt his hand come across her face and painful sting on her nose and lips. She then felt the blows of his fist on her stomach as he punched her, she fell to the ground in pain. He then looked down on her and actually relieved himself on her. "Their you Bitch". The next you should be here and maybe you might spare him the pain. If you aren't here to help me then I'm gonna get it from him, it doesn't matter to me who gets it. Bob then zipped up his pants and left the room._

_Nora, then took her son who was crying into the bathroom, and cleaned him and herself. She looked at her little boy, who didn't know why his father would do such a horrible thing to him. Ricky then looked at her and asked Mommy why I didn't do anything wrong why did Daddy hurt me like that. I said I was sorry for whatever I did, but he still wouldn't stop. He said "It's a cruel world and I have to teach you that" Ricky said with a sob and tears running down his face. Nora held her son close to her and cried with him._

_She didn't know what to do if she told anyone then she might go prison with Bob, and even if she didn't, she didn't know how she would be able to raise him by herself. She also didn't know how to fight back against Bob since he was so much stronger than she was. She thought about killing him in his sleep, but she knew she would still go to prison, she didn't know what to do, as she helped her son get redressed and put him back in bed. She then went into the bathroom, and got out a razor, she thought about slitting her wrists but, that would still leave her son unprotected. So she decided the only thing would be to feel numb from the guilt and helplessness. _

_She went into the kitchen pantry took out her private stash of crack and began to smoke. She, decided to try and be their every night for Bob to use, in order to protect her son. But, that only helped a little soon it didn't matter to Bob if Nora was their or not.. He began touch Ricky and every time she tried to protect him she would once again feel the punishment for her good deed. Soon she began to use drugs regularly in order to deal with the pain of her son enduring the hard lessons of his father's cruelty for two years. _

_Then one day when Ricky was ten years old, a representative of child services showed up at her door with a police officer. Bob, tried to deny what Ricky had told them at school but she didn't, and she told them every horrible detail, and to take her son away and make sure he never had to go through this again. She and Bob were both arrested for child neglect, child endangerment, child molestation, and several other violations, of child safety and welfare laws._

_Nora was placed in prison and required to attend counseling meetings for the next five years where Bob was given ten years for his actions in Ricky's abuse. Before Nora was taken away she kissed Ricky on the forehead, and said "Thank you baby for having the strength to save yourself when I couldn't." That was the last time she saw heard from her son until the day she was given a letter by an attorney informing her that a family wanted to adopt Ricky, but she would have to sign the document and surrender all parental rights to her son. She was willing to agree to the terms but first she wanted to meet the family that wanted to adopt Ricky._

_When she first laid eyes on Margaret and Shakur, Nora had to admit she did not know what to think of this couple, but after a few minutes of talking to them she got a pretty good idea of how Honest, Noble, and Loving they were. Margaret, also informed her that they had brought Ricky with them. But, he refused to see her. He said that him showing up was all he had to do and Nora accepted that. She soon singed the documents and the adoption went through without fail. _

_Later, Margaret worked to get Nora into an early release program, which also set her up with a job and an apartment. However she was also informed that Ricky had soon taken up the old habits of his father of using his looks and charm to seduce women. This worried her since she knew how it turned out for her and Bob. It also worried her because she wondered if the same evil that existed once in her and still in Bob was now in her son. When she heard that Ricky had gotten a girl pregnant she was even more concerned and began saving as much money as she could in order to help her son should he ever need it._

_When he came to visit her two years ago, she realized that her fears were almost confirmed. The darkness that had consumed both she and Bob was in Ricky but somehow he managed to control it. Now she saw the light in his eyes that had disappeared from her and Bobs'. She never realized how that light could be there in a world like this until she met her son's best friend "Ben Boykewich." Ben reminded her of a once nice sweet boy who had a crush on her, but was too shy to ask her out she often wondered if she had asked him instead how her life would have turned out._

Ring Ring Ring. The phone went off and snapped her back to reality. Good evening Boykewich Industries, Leo Boykewich's office,. Nora speaking may I help you. Nora took down the message that was given to her and looked at the photo she had of Amy and Ricky on her desk. They looked so happy as they hugged on stage at his graduation after the proposal, and from that picture she took of them she saw the light come back into her son's eyes as Amy said yes to his proposal.

She then got up and went into Leo's office. There on his desk were photos of Ben as a little boy, and at his wedding with Adrian. In those photos she noticed the light in his eyes. But in the photo at his wedding it got brighter. Then she slowly remembered his eyes when he was standing in front of her only a moment ago. The light in his eyes was gone and only reappeared when he defended Adrian. She wondered if somehow the damage that had been done to her son was now passing from her son to those around him. Perhaps Adrian and Ben were only the first to suffer from the curse that she and Bob unleashed on their son.


	10. WORDS AFTER WORK

**I do not own anything in this story accept the plot. The characters and the plot all belong to Brenda Hampton and ABC Family.**

The elevator ride down to the mail-room was quiet as Ben and Leo stood, waiting for their floor. Ben looked at his father for a moment and began to remember back to when he was a kid of four years old and was so excited to finally get to see where his father worked. On that day he felt so grown up to be in the big building and in an elevator with his dad, and see just how things were done. He was mesmerized by the many people that worked in the offices, the computers set up on their desks, and even the ringing telephones that they answered.

He remembered how he couldn't wait to one day be working in this building with his dad, and to one day take over and sit in his father's big chair. That, was a long time ago Ben thought to himself now he felt somewhat stupid for how he was feeling now. When he was a kid he couldn't wait to be working here with his dad, but now he wanted to leave all of that behind because he was no longer that naïve little boy.

This is our floor Leo said as they got of the elevator on the fourth floor. This is where it all starts Ben so pay attention, Leo said as he looked at Ben with a serious expression. First I'm going to take you to the porter room where Stan will show you what you're gonna be doing, Leo said. Stan, since when did Stan become the manager of the mail-room, Ben replied. Well a lot of things have changed since you were here last, maybe now you will take a bigger interest in the company. Phillip retired a few months ago and moved to Florida to spend time with his family. Since Stan has been here almost as long as me, I decided since he had the most experience to give him the job.

Phil retired, Ben said in amazement. Geez I always thought Phil would be here when I took over the company he was like a permanent part of the place. What, Ben asked as he noticed Leo staring at him. Nothing I just felt kind of proud when you said that you would take over the company. That was a mistake, like I said this is your company, not mine, Ben replied. I know that, Leo said but I built this company for you and one day I do hope you will take over Ben. Well we'll see then won't we, Ben replied. Yeah I guess we will Leo stated, now feeling hopeful that he had not lost his son.

As Ben, and Leo got off the elevator Stan was waiting to meet them at the door to the mail-room. Ben was happy to see a familiar face, and grasped Stan's hand in a firm grip as he extended it happy to see Ben after so many years. Nice to See you Ben, Stan said with a happy tone. Its' been too long since you and I used to have our mail cart races, he said with a smile. Yeah, it has Ben said with his eyes shining reminiscing of those years past when he and Stan would play with the mail carts as the day ended. Well, maybe if you haven't gotten too old and out of practice we can have a rematch as I recall you are still behind by three races, Stan said jokingly. Okay, Ben said but I have to warn you my legs have grown since then. I can see that Stan said with a laugh.

Come, let me introduce you to the rest of my slaves, I mean interns, Stan said with a laugh. Stan was now 36 years old and stood at 6'2 and a light frame of only 145 lbs. He was very slender and blonde with kind blue eyes. He led Ben into a large room with mail inside a room piled high and stacked more than six feet high. Inside the room there were over twenty people taking the packages down reading labels, and sorting them into even more smaller piles. Beside them were another team of people all looking to be in their late teens, to early twenties. Among the group sorting mail Ben saw a familiar red haired girl sorting the mail. He smiled widely as he saw Dylan leaning down and reading a row of letters to be sorted.

**THE BUTCHER SHOP**

Ricky came from the back with a large rack of lambs in a box and began to unpack the box, just as Bunny came up from behind him. So, how is the wife or future wife, Bunny giggled as she came up. Fiancee, Ricky corrected her, and she's fine she's at work right now. Well, its nice to know that you two have finally decided to stop living in sin and for you to make an honest woman out of her, Bunny said jokingly. Amy, is an honest girl, but now she is going to be my wife, and while you're laughing at my expense could you give me hand, or have you forgotten I know longer have help with this. Sure thing, Bunny said as she helped Ricky unpack the box, and place the meat in a display.

So when am I going to get help with this I mean I can't do all this by myself now that Ben isn't here. Well, I am looking but not many have applied for part time work in a Butcher shop, at least not trustworthy people. What do you mean by that Ricky asked curiously. Let's just say a few girls stopped by asking about the job, and I recognized some of them from the tapes. What, Ricky asked amazed at what she said. Yeah, apparently your engagement has sent an uproar through the female community. A lot of them seem to want to work here to be next to you, and although I admire their enthusiasm I thought it better to hire someone who I haven't seen in one of your shirts.

Sorry for all that, Ricky replied I guess I never realized just how my past can catch up to me. Yeah, honey it always does, Bunny said sympathetically as she saw how forlorn Ricky looked for having slept with so many women. But, tell me how come Ben got the job working at the company and I'm still here unpacking the meat. I'm the one getting married, while he's the one getting divorced Ricky said annoyed.

Whoa, that was uncalled for there, or did you not just here every word you just said, Bunny answered. I'm sorry, but I have a family to support now, a wedding to start saving for, college tuition, and I still have to save up money to get a bigger place, Ricky replied. It's not that I think I deserve special treatment or that I don't feel sorry for Ben, but I have a lot of responsibility now, he stated.

Yeah, you do Bunny replied. But, you have to remember that doing all of those things is your responsibly, and Ben is Leo's responsibility. I know you thought that you would get the internship, but Leo decided that he wanted to be closer to Ben, he felt that in all that has been happening that Ben and he have grown apart. He believed that it was also time that since Ben is in his final year of high school he should get to know the company better, Bunny stated. But, Ben doesn't even want to be part of the company he just wants to use the company you've seen him, I don't know where his head is these days.

Well, that's because his head has been thinking about his daughter who died, his marriage that has fallen apart, and the fact that you and Amy are living the life he wanted to live with Amy, in his family's butcher shop apartment, Bunny stated. Bunny, is it my fault that his daughter died and things between he and Adrian didn't work out. I tried to warn him to take it slow, but he didn't listen, and now he gets rewarded for being so foolish. Ricky stated in a frustrated tone Ricky, Bunny said now feeling irritated.

How does losing his child, his marriage, and possibly his best friend, and wife become a reward. May I remind you that you live in a rent controlled apartment, with your child and his mother, while working downstairs. You are also getting a scholarship to college with this company, and getting married to the girl you love. It seems to me that you have enough rewards already.

I know, and I'm sorry it's just so frustrating living in that small apartment, not to mention the bills Amy and I have, are gonna start to pile up when I start college. Well, you were the one who asked her to move in with you so you could beat Ben and Adrian, and unfortunately the two of you got a sour victory, she replied. I didn't ask Amy to move in with me to compete against Ben and Adrian, I asked her to move in so we could spend more time together and so I could help her more with our son, he stated.

Ricky who are you trying to convince of that me or you. I guess myself he said sourly. Tell you what why don't you finish up here and then take the rest of the day off since business is slow today, Bunny replied. Really its only 4:30. I know but consider it an early wedding present, so don't expect anything at the bridal shower, she said with a smile. Thanks, Bunny Ricky said as he finished his work and headed upstairs to his apartment.

**5:30 BOYKEWICH IND.**

So, how did you get a job here Ben asked Dylan as they both started to punch in their time cards to go home. My dad is friends with Stan, they used to room together in college and since they needed a new set of interns he literally let me in on the ground floor, she said with a smile. Well that's great, maybe we can go to the movies after work since I missed our last rendezvous, Ben asked. I don't know I thought there was a strict no fraternization policy with employees, Dylan said with a smirk.

I would hate to have the boss's son fired Well, how about we go separately to see the same movie and if we end up sitting together, and go to the same restaurant to eat, it won't be fraternizing it will be a common coincidence, Ben said slyly. Okay maybe that can be arranged she said with a smile but make sure this time you call me she said, poking him in the chest. I will, Ben replied and headed out to meet Mike in the parking lot.

Mike drove up just in time to see Ben leave the building with a smile from ear to ear, and a glimmer in his eyes. Good day at work he asked as Ben got into the back seat. It was better than I expected, Ben replied. Is my dad going to be riding with us, Ben asked looking for Leo. No, he phoned ahead and let me know that he has an urgent matter that has come up and that I should take you home, there is something he wants' to discuss with you, Mike replied. Really is it anything serious Ben asked puzzled at the request his father made. I don't know, but it did sound serious, Mike replied.

**Later at the BUTCHER SHOP APT.**

Ricky was just coming out of the shower and putting on his shirt when Amy arrived home with John. Hey Amy, how is my wife to be he said as he took John from her and leaned down to kiss her only for her to turn away. Amy what's the matter he asked as she went into the kitchen to check on the dinner that Ricky was already making. Nothing, I'm just hungry she said as she looked at the stir fry which had been placed on low heat.

No, Amy something is wrong, I know when you're upset so tell me, Ricky stated placing John down. I got into an argument in the hall today with all of my friends and apparently none of them want to be around me anymore. WHAT!, he asked shocked at what she had told him. What happened, he asked with concern. Well, Lauren and Madison were arguing over what happened between Madison and Jesse at the party and when I tried to calm them down, they both turned on me. Huh, Ricky said asked confused, how could they turn on you.

Apparently, I'm the reason why Madison slept with Jesse because you and I slept together at band camp, Amy explained. When we were kids the three of us made a vow not to have sex before we were married and when I slept with you, and got pregnant with John I broke that vow, Amy said. Madison even told me that John was a mistake, and that I'm a bad mother who only uses my son for a fashion accessory, she said as her eyes began to tear up. How in the hell can she say that Ricky screamed. Amy you are an excellent mother to our son, and no one can do any better no one, he said trying to console her.

Well, what they said wasn't half as hurtful as what Ben said when I tried to talk to him, Amy replied. Ben, why was Ben at summer school, I thought he didn't have to go, Ricky asked confused. Well, he was there, and I tried to find out when I saw Adrian heading toward him. Amy, why would you try and do that, Ricky asked. Do what? Amy responded. Try and get in the middle of a confrontation between Adrian, and Ben. If those two still have issues over what happened then its' between them not you, Rick said. Well, I know that now, she responded wiping her eyes with a tissue.

And besides from how they acted I think that all that has happened between them is forgiven and water under the bridge, Amy stated. Well, that's good Ricky said but it still doesn't explain how Ben hurt you, Ricky asked. Well for some reason, instead of blaming Adrian for being a sl… she stopped herself before she could finish the statement. Well, he blames us for Adrian and Henry sleeping together, she replied. WHAT, Ricky shouted. How can he blame us for those two sleeping together. Well, he said that by us giving her what she was asking for she decided to pick up her old habits, and he doesn't think any of us should be friends any longer. Well, maybe that's not such a bad idea Ricky said. You agree Amy said looking at him with shock.

Amy, come on he's your ex-boyfriend, it's kind of odd the three of us trying to be friends after all that has happened, he responded. Well, I thought we could until he explained why, apparently he thinks you and I are selfish, and that I am a gold digging slut, she replied. He called you a what, Ricky said furiously. I'm gonna kill him. Ricky screamed. Ricky wait, Amy said as she grabbed him. He didn't meant it, she said apologetically. Amy how could he not mean it if he said it Ricky replied. Because I kind of asked for it she said sorrowfully. Amy, how could you ask to be called a SLUT! Ricky said becoming enraged. Because, I was so angry after my fight with Lauren and Madison and his declaration of not wanting to be friends I insulted Adrian, and his daughter.

Amy, Ricky looked at her puzzled how could you insult his daughter. I don't know, I was so mad that he blamed us for Adrian's mistake, that I thought she should be blamed for something. Amy, still that was his daughter and despite that I think I should still go over there, Ricky said. Ricky, Amy begged please lets just let some time pass. No, he said getting his keys, if Ben has a problem with you, then he has a problem with me, and this way I can clear the air, or finish it. Ricky, Amy yelled as he headed out of the door.

**BOYKEWICH ESTATE 6:30 pm**

Ben, had just finished putting the finishing touches on his English assignment when he heard a familiar knock on his door, and turned annoyed at the person standing in the door way. What do you want Ricky, Ben asked as he put away his notebook, and stood from his chair. Let me guess, he stated with annoyance. You came here to have me apologize to Amy for what I said, or to beat try and beat the crap out of me. Either way, I don't care, he said. Because I'm not going to apologize, and if you want to fight me, well lets go I might not hurt you, but I won't let you pummel me so easily either he said with confidence.

Ben, I didn't come here to fight you Ricky said, also a little annoyed and Ben's cocky attitude, and also impressed at Ben's newly formed ego. I came to try and end this feud once and for all, he said. Well, as far as I'm concerned, and as far as Adrian is concerned its over, Ben replied. You and Amy won, we lost so the two of you can live you happily ever after, and let us get on with the rest of our lives, Ben said dryly. Ben, don't give me that this was never a competition, this was us trying to be friends despite all the drama that was happening between, the four of us, and Amy and I aren't responsible for what happened between you and Adrian, Ricky said.

Ricky, I never said you were, Ben replied. I know that Adrian and I made our own mistakes and we are responsible for them. I also know that we should never have rushed our relationship just to please other people. What, I also know is no matter how much you try and deny it or ignore it this was always a competition between the four of us. Whether it was you and I competing for Amy, or Adrian and Amy competing for you. Or Adrian and I competing against you and Amy, it was always a competition and Adrian and I always lost, Ben said with an assured tone. And no matter how much you try and to claim innocence, or deny it you played it too, You played it better than me, and you won so stop trying to pretend other wise, no one is here but you and me Ricky so just stop.

Ben, you should grow up, I didn't try and compete against you I warned you not to get involved with Amy and you didn't listen, Ricky said. Because as long as I was John's father it would always be me Amy chose, he said becoming angry. Yeah, I realized that Ben, responded. But, what I never could understand is why you continued to pull Adrian into the situation if Amy was always going to be your goal. All you had to do was end it but you didn't. Every single time she tried to get away from you, you kept pulling her back in. So tell me Ricky, WHY?

Adrian, is a big girl Ben, she knew what she was getting into when we started and if she didn't know the rules when I explained them then its on her. Ricky said angrily. Ricky, don't make me hit you. Because I might not win but I can assure you I will do more than enough damage. You, had no right to hurt her like that. She loved you, she really loved you, and all you did was use her. She cared about you, unlike Zoey, and all those other girls. She accepted you for who you were, and who you could be, Ben replied. All you had to do was let her go before she got that close, but every single time you pulled her in only to throw her away.

You don't think I know that by now, Ricky yelled. I tried to be the man she wanted me to be, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready herself or otherwise she would have never slept with you. Ricky replied, She slept with me because she was tired of being hurt. I slept with her because I was tired of being hurt. I was tired of seeing you have that beautiful, smart, strong, caring creature waiting for you, forgiving you, and then to treat her like some common whore. Yes, I slept with Adrian because that night, I wanted to be you, but I couldn't. I had already started to feel more for her than you ever did. Ben replied also becoming angry.

Yeah, well you got her didn't you she got pregnant with your kid so why didn't you make it work, Ricky asked. Because, I loved Adrian Ricky, but I wasn't ready to be in love with her, or she ready to be in love with me. But, you still didn't let it go. You showed up at my house when I was still sorting out my feelings for Amy and literally forced me to get back with her why? Ben asked looking at Ricky. Because Amy didn't want me, she wanted you. You were the one who made her feel what I couldn't, you made her feel safe. So, I thought if I couldn't have Amy she should at least have you. Then maybe I could have been the man Adrian wanted me to be, Ricky said barely letting the statement come out.

But, all that changed the second, I found out she was pregnant with your child. I knew then, Adrian and I were not meant to be. Because no matter how much I did love Adrian Ben, she wanted you. You were the man she needed, even if she never admitted it. She would flirt with you in the hall because she wanted to see if it would catch your attention. She would watch you with Amy, not because she was jealous of me and Amy but because she was jealous of you and Amy. The only reason Adrian loved me is because she thought I was the best she could get, and she never really accepted that she could have you, even when she had sex with you in the car. Ricky said.

But, you threw it away Ben, you couldn't get over Amy. You rushed it, that's' why I kept warning you. So don't blame me for your mistakes. Ricky replied. I don't, Ben said angrily. I blame you for casting her away when she needed you. Adrian was hurt when our daughter died, and I couldn't fix her. Her parents couldn't fix her. Her friends couldn't fix her, the only person who could actually help her was you, and all you did was ignore her as if she didn't even matter just like every other guy did her.

You don't think I know that Ben, but you know why couldn't help her. I didn't want to ruin your marriage to her or my relationship with Amy, Ricky yelled back. Yeah, you didn't want to take advantage of her in her condition. You must be a pathetic person Ricky, to be worried about sleeping with a married woman who lost a child. But, then again you didn't care about that. All you cared about was yourself, because of all the times she was there for you, you couldn't be there for her not even this once. Yet you claimed to be our friend.

I tried to be your friend Ben that's why I stayed away, Ricky yelled. My friend, Ben responded. How were you trying to be my friend, he yelled back. I told you to give up on Amy, I told you to hang in there, but you didn't., Ricky implied. No, Ricky I did. I stayed. I might have left, but its because I was at the end of my rope and that's because I didn't know how to help the woman I loved get past the death of our child, especially when I couldn't help myself and I was going to therapy.

I tried going back to school to distract myself, I tried going back to work. But, each time I saw you and Amy I was reminded of what I didn't have with Adrian. Each time I saw Amy take John to your apartment I had to remember my Angel wouldn't be taking our daughter home. But, for a friend you didn't notice that did you, Ben said with a tear coming of his eye.

And for a friend Ricky let me ask you what was my daughter's name. Ricky looked at Ben with shock and at the same time he felt a sense of guilt course through him. You see a friend, a true friend would at least know the name of my daughter. But, you don't do you, Ben stated. But you know the worst, part Ricky the fact that you never even asked me what her name was.

Ben and Ricky then looked at one another. Ricky turned to leave when Ben replied and you can forget about the last competition too Ricky. What competition is that, Ricky asked as he turned to look at Ben. The competition for my father. Because you can have Amy, you can have John, you've had Adrian, you can have my job, and even my family's butcher shop But, you can't have my dad. I don't want your dad Ben, Ricky said looking at Ben.

Remember Ricky this is just you and me because we both know he's what you want the most. Because he's the only thing that is keeping you from taking my life. Ben I don't want your life, Ricky replied. Yes, you do Ben said. Because you want to stop being who you are, but you cant' escape who you are. And who do you think I Ben, Ricky asked. You are what you hate the most "Bob Underwood's Son", and not "Leo Boykewich's". Ricky wanted to turn and attack Ben for his last statement but instead he turned and closed the door, because deep down he knew Ben was telling the truth. He did want to be Leo's Son.


	11. REVELATIONS & REALIZATIONS

**I own nothing the chararcters are owned by Brenda Hampton & the writers & producers of ABCFAMILY CHANNEL.**

**REVELATIONS & REALIZATIONS**

Ricky walked through the door of the apartment and threw his keys on the table, he hung up his jacket, and sat down on the couch with a frustrated look on his face as he rubbed his forehead. He thought that driving would help clear his head then realized that he needed to save on gas. So he parked his car and went for a walk. He walked around for a while before he decided to head home. He still had not gotten Ben's words out of his head. "The worst part Ricky you never even asked what my daughters name was."

Ben, was right he was a bad friend, and after having walked around he came to a realization that even though he had done a lot of good things in his life it still did not erase all the bad things he had done. He helped his family when they were sick, but he did that because they were his family. He was there for his son when ever he called to him. But, John was his son that was his job as his father, it was also a promise that he made to his son on the day he was born. Now he was faithful to Amy, but he thought to himself why now. "Why is it I can be faithful to Amy, and do all this stuff for my family, but I couldn't do it for anyone else/" he said out loud.

"Ricky, is that you are you home?", Amy said as she came into the living room from John' room. "Ricky you're home, I was worried that something had happened to you when I called and you didn't pick up". No, I'm fine, Amy, he said looking at her with a troubled expression. "Amy, do you know what Ben and Adrian named their daughter, he asked looking guilty?" Yeah, they named her Mercy, she said in a wonder. In all the time that had passed since Adrian and Ben lost their child Ricky had usually stayed away from that subject. This was the first time he had ever showed any interest in their child since the day she died.

"Ricky, what is it, what happened did you and Ben get into a fight?" "Yeah, we did get into an argument," he said looking remorseful over the words that he had spoken to his now ex friend. So what happened you didn't say something that made things worse did you? Amy asked concerned over the situation. "Amy the situation between all of us has been worse for a long time and nothing I say or do can ever make it better" Ricky don't be so tough on yourself, its' not your fault Ben lets' Adrian make a fool of himself" with a dark tone in her voice.

Why would you say that Amy, he asked looking at her with scorn." Every time something doesn't go your way with me or Ben, you automatically blame Adrian. Why is it no matter what happens you always seem to think she is at fault for what happens to you, me, or Ben? "Ricky, its just that she always is. She is the one who started all this." If she wouldn't have slept with Henry in the first place we would all still be friends."Friends, were we friends Amy, or we all just kids, who let ourselves be trapped in bad situation because we all fell in love with the wrong people.

Ricky why are you saying that?" Amy asked becoming frightened at Ricky's tone as he seemed be getting mad at her for some unknown reason. "Because, Amy, you and I started all this not Adrian and Henry." You and I started all this three years ago at band camp when we had sex and I got you pregnant with John. Ricky, just because we had sex it doesn't make us responsible for what happened to Ben and Adrian." she replied. "No it doesn't, but everything we did after that does." he said now settling down his tone and looking at his fiancee.

"Amy why did you first sleep with me" was all Ricky could say when she spoke those words. "Honey what are you talking about" she responded. "I want to know what is it that made you first sleep with me at band camp that night." Amy you knew me for less than twelve hours but it only took me fifteen minutes to sleep with you and get you pregnant." I want to know why? "Ben was with you for two years, and he put up with all of the drama that came with the situation, and then some." So I'm asking why is it that you slept with me in only twelve hours, but you never once slept with him in two years.

Amy looked at Ricky with shock, and a feeling of shame. Shame that she didn't know existed in her. She had never once been asked that question accept for Ashley, but she never thought of all the people to ask it again it would be Ricky. But, just like Ashley she had no answer for him, because she never understood why. Ben loved her, adored her, comforted her, supported her, and he was there for her, but she never knew or understood why she didn't want to be with him on that level. She also didn't understand why she never wanted anyone else to be with him on that level either.

So, tell me Amy why did you have sex with me that night, why did you have sex with me the night Adrian, and Ben lost their daughter and we had only been dating for six months. But, you wouldn't let Ben touch you in two years. "Ricky, why are you acting like this she said with tears forming in her eyes.". "Because Amy, I need to know why you slept with me at band camp, then waited to years to sleep with me agian, only after I had turned into the man that Ben already was?"

"Ricky she said trying to compose herself you and Ben are different." No, Amy only our lives are different, but the men we are or the man I am now was the very man Ben was two years ago." "So tell me why you slept with me and not him."Because I love you Ricky, was all she could say. But, Ricky looked at her and said "Then what did you feel for Ben in all that time Amy." In two years why did you tell him I love you, and keep him waiting and anticipating if you were in love with me".

Amy looked at Ricky and didn't know what to say. She had told Ben that she loved him so many times, and each time he heard it she knew that it gave him hope to go on. It gave him strength to endure their relationship, her pregnancy, and also the humiliation that he received for dating the pregnant girl who wasn' t even carrying his child. She wondered herself why she did that. Why she continued to keep Ben holding on to her, if she never really planned to end up with him. "I don't know." was all she could reply as Ricky looked at her. "But, why did you do the same to Adrian," she asked retaliating against his question with her own.

"Because I could" was his response. Ricky said it with a cold and calm expression that he knew resembled the one his father would give him, when he would ask why he hurt him. "Because Adrian was there and she knew the type of person I was, but she loved me anyway." Because she hoped that one day I would be the person that she could hold on too and I knew that wouldn't be." "But, I didn't care if it hurt her, or how she felt." Because whether I liked it or not "I AM MY FATHERS' SON":

"Ricky why would you say something like that?" shocked at his response to her question. "Because it's true Amy, you know its true and so do I." I hurt Adrian and every other girl I have ever been with for the very same reason my father hurt me." Because I was in pain and I was angry and I didn't feel good about myself until I made someone else feel as bad as myself." he said coming to hears after he spoke.

"Adrian loved me, Amy she really loved me, and I never let myself love her or really tried to love her because I knew that she was broken, and I would hurt her." "She knew what she was getting into Ricky, when she was with you, you told me that yourself a thousand times." Amy replied as she began to cry as well. "Did she?" Did she really understand, after all the times I said that I loved her, after all the times she confided in me, and I confided in her only to have me push her away, every time she got close or I got to close." he said remembering his past with Adrian.

"Amy the main reason I am the man I am now is because of her." Because she never let me give up on myself and give into the part of me that is my father." She allowed me to use her in what ever way because she loved me just that much." "And how did I repay her for being there for me, by abandoning her whenever she needed me just like everyone else has ever done to her in her life." From her parents, to her first love, to all the other guys, that slept with her." "Even her own child left her when she needed her." he said with a sob.

"She lost her child Amy, her daughter before she was even born, and she was actually happy at becoming a mother. She was happy because she knew her daughter would never abandon her, and neither would Ben." "But then her daughter died, and that served as a bigger reminder to her as to how much her life sucked." "And she reached out to me Amy, she wanted me to help her get through it, but I did what I always did." I ran, I avoided her, and I made excuses. If I ever owed anyone for helping me in my life it was Adrian." he then sat down and placed his hands in his head

But, Ricky we tried to be there for her, Amy said trying to soothe his guilt." No Amy you were there he said. And honestly the last person who should have been there is you. Because you have John and you, have me and you even still had Ben. By you coming around without me it made him lose faith in his marriage to Adrian." Ricky we can't blame ourselves for what happened to them, Ben had doubts about their marriage from the beginning." Amy said trying to reassure Ricky.

And you think I don't have doubts about us Amy, he replied." You don't think I worry on whether or not we are getting married just to show everyone how right for each other we are when we might not be. "What makes you so sure that we can last when Ben and Adrian couldn't" Because Ricky, we love each other, Ben and Adrian only got married because she was pregnant. They even only slept together to get back at us, she said despondently. "Amy we have already had this conversation, and no matter how much you try to convince me or yourself that them sleeping together was just about revenge the more we both know that it wasn't.

"Ricky please, if I hadn't told Ben about the kiss then he would have never slept with Adrian, she said becoming angry." So why did you Amy, he replied. "What?" she said not understanding his question. Why did you tell him about the kiss, Amy?" Why did you even kiss me, he asked still becoming agitated.  
"Ricky we were only practice kissing, she said in stammer." Amy don't' give me that, we both know it was more than that, he said standing up to face her.

"So tell me why did you kiss me? Why did you get on birth control after you broke up with Ben? Why did start carrying condoms. Why would you break up with Ben, and start a relationship with me after you found out Adrian was pregnant, Amy' Why did you stay in a relationship with Ben for so long, if you never really loved him." "Ricky I DON' KNOW" was all she could say and began to cry..

I really don't know, she said sobbing and sitting on the sofa. I just needed him, I guess, she said still sobbing. He was there for me and you weren't, and I needed someone to help me. Ben was there so I guess I used him like you used Adrian, I guess. 'So whether we like it or not Amy we are at fault, he said sitting down beside her and consoling her. "Adrian was broken when I met her and I kept breaking the glass, because I needed her. I needed her to help me become a better person, which is why I didn't let her move on whenever she tried to let go of me." Its why I didn't like it when she and Ben started to become friends, and probably why you didn't like it either. Because they could have been good for each other, but we never let them truly find that out until it was too late.

Adrian was already broken from her life, her relationship with me, and when she lost Mercy, she finally fell apart" Ricky said as they sat together. Ben, was empty from the void that his mom left when she died and he felt guilty for hurting me when he slept with Adrian, and when his daughter died the void got even bigger." .Amy said in a reluctant tone. He couldn't hold Adrian together or put her back together, when he was falling in on himself she said knowing how hard Ben would try and help the woman he loved, but knew his limitations even more than anyone else.

"The only person who has ever truly been there for Adrian in all her life was Ben, and even he left her after it got too much." "The only difference is, he was the better man and went back, because he does love her, Ricky said bitterly. And Adrian loves him, but she doesn't like to need someone, because she believes they will eventually hurt her, like you did. Amy said with grief. "So they both love each other, but because of their guilt from relationships with us, and the way they first started neither of them was ready to be in love with each other, Ricky said with sorrow.

"So when we decided to let you kiss Adrian, and giving her what she wanted, we weren't really giving her what she needed." Amy said. And what she needed was help from her family, her friends, and her husband, " Ricky added. Just like Ben needed to be let off the hook by me for feeling so guilty over sleeping with Adrian that night. Ricky said. I don't think it's you Amy that he feels guilty for hurting, I think I'm the one who he feels guilty, because I was his friend and I made him think that he was the cause of my break from Adrian. When it was really me using that night they spent together as an excuse to let Adrian free, herself from me without feeling guilty myself.." he said becoming angry at himself.

What are we going to do to fix this Ricky, Amy said looking at him now calmed and for once relieved that she had spoken the truth about her actions. I don't know Amy, honestly I don't think there is anything we can do, accept honor Ben's wishes and stay away from he and Adrian." And we can hope that they can one day find their way back to each other or find a way to move on with their lives. So that way, they find other people who will do for them what we never did, and what they never got a chance to really do for each other." Ricky said with guilt in his voice. "What's that she asked" "Love them for who they are."


	12. HEADACHES & HEARTACHES

**I own nothing the chararcters are owned by Brenda Hampton & the writers & producers of ABCFAMILY CHANNEL.**

**HEADACHES & HEARTACHES**

**JUNE 5, 2011 BOYKEWICH ESTATES 8:30 pm**

Ben, lay in bed in his room trying to rest from the headache that pounded into his skull, after his argument with Ricky. For the past few weeks his headache had been coming and going it started right after his daughter died and continued to worsen as time went on. Ben thought the headache would get better as he began to come to grips with what happened to Mercy, but as his life began to unravel it just got worse. Now after this argument it seemed to be beating against his brain with mallet and just made it worse. It was then that he heard a knock on his door and turned his head slightly to see his father standing in the doorway.

"Hi son are you awake." Leo asked as he stood in front of Ben and turned on the light to his room. "Yeah, dad I'm awake." Ben said as he slowly sat up and allowed his eyes to become adjusted to the light. "I just came to talk to you, and ask how your day at work was?" Leo asked looking at Ben with a somewhat worried expression. "It was okay, I guess. " Ben said as he looked at Leo, then realized that there was something else on his fathers mind as he saw the troubled expresion on his face.

"But that isn't what you came in here to ask me is it?" Ben said he met his father eye to eye. "No it isn't." Leo said with a sigh. "In fact I came to talk to you about some bad news, and I don't know how you're going to take it." "Well just tell me, then Dad. It can't be much worse than anything else that has been happening in my life." "Trust me son, this is almost as bad, because it affects both our lives, and the lives of all my employees , and the future of Boykewich Ind. as well." Leo said looking regretful and ashamed.

"WHAT!" Ben said with a frantic expression surprised at the comment his father had just given him. "Dad what's going on is something wrong with you or the company." "No, not me at least not health wise, save for my mental health." Leo said with a chuckle. "Its' Betty, she met some hotshot fancy lawyer and he's convinced her to contest the divorce, and the pre-nup we have, on grounds of adultery." "Huh, why would she do something like that, Dad." "I thought you, and Betty had decided to part on good terms and she was okay with the settlement she would get in the divorce?" Ben asked as he looked at the sad face of his father.

"I thought the same thing but this attorney has convinced her that she should sue me for adultery, because he has a few snapshots of me with Camille." "He's claiming that I was having an affair with Camille, before we separated and this nullifies the agreement we made in the pre-nup." "But Dad you and Camille haven't been you know… intimate with one another have you." Ben asked with a slight tone of both worry and disgust of his father having sex.

"Well, after Betty and I separated a month ago and you encouraged me to go for it, after knowing each other for so long, Camille and I decided that we shouldn't put off our feelings any longer." Leo said feeling a bit uneasy about having a conversation like this with his son. "Dad I said that you should start a relationship, not start having an intimate relationship, you're not even divorced yet." He said with disgust. "But then again neither is Adrian, so I guess that is the way marriage and relationships work these days." Ben said a little irritated at how both he and Betty were getting divorced for the exact same reason.

"Ben, I didn't start out to hurt Betty, I just never really understood my feelings for Camille" Leo said with a little guilt in his voice. "Dad,trust me I know what you mean, but I also understand what Betty is feeling too." "She loved you, she really does, and she was understanding at first because she felt like that mom was the reason you weren't happy," Ben said looking at his father. "How do you know about that?" Leo asked staring at his son and remembering his altercations with Betty when she caught him staring at Sarah's picture. "She told me about it, Dad. She was my stepmother and my friend."

"She was also the only person who stood by both me and Adrian when we decided to get married, and she was also the one who let me see how stupid I was for not remembering why I really got married in the first place." Ben said with a bit of sorrow in his voice. "I never realized that you, and Betty had a relationship like that," Leo responded. "Well, when you give someone a $50,000.00 engagement ring, you kind of have to develop a close relationship with them," Ben replied.

"The RING!", Ben yelled out as he remembered it. "Betty doesn't want the ring back does she because I promised that to Adrian and I am not going to try and take it from her. I promised Betty that I would pay her for it and I will, but I'm not going to ask for it back, not after all this." Ben said in worried and frantic tone. "I don't know son, but from what I gather the person controlling and intimidating this entire thing is her shyster lawyer, he's responsible for taking apart a lot of marriages and pre-nups just to line his own pockets." Leo replied. "If that's the case, and this guy is a slime how did Betty get entangled with a creep like that," Ben asked. Well apparently Ben, she was on layover during a flight to Idaho and met him at the airport." He had probably heard about her divorce from me, and knowing who I was decided to manipulate Betty into contesting the divorce to get a whack at me, and the company" Leo said a little depressed.

"Dad, I'm sorry and I hope things between you and Betty don't end like this." "I don't know son, maybe I deserve this," he said with guilt. "I rushed my relationship with Betty not thinking and fell in love. She did the same thing, and neither of us knew just what we were getting into just like you and Adrian. "But unlike you and Adrian we didn't have a child together forcing it, and neither of us were young and naïve." Leo said looking at his son and realizing that both marriages his an Ben's suffered from the same problem."

"But why are you in bed so early son its' not even nine o'clock yet," he asked? "I just had a headache from the day I've had, Ben said with frustration." "Anything I need to worry about, I thought you said work was okay, Leo responded." "Work was great, it was school and after work that was the problem, Ben replied."

"Okay so what happened at school did you get into a fight with Adrian or Henry, Leo asked." No, I settled everythng with Adrian and after the divorce she and I will go our separate ways, and try to remain friends, for the most part at least. "As for Henry, well he and I have just run our course, I guess." Ben said. "Ben you and Henry have been friends for almost ten years now son, are you really willing to let it all go away for one mistake, he asked." "Dad it wasn't just one mistake, it was Henry sleeping with my soon to be ex-wife, after he made me promise not to do the same with Alice." After everything I have done for him, and after all we have been through together, I didn't throw our friendship away, that was his decision."

"It was his decision to sleep with Adrian by using the secret I had told him about her." "Just like it was his decision to break up with Alice just so he could sleep with girls like Adrian in abundance." Ben said angrily. Henry thought that he could sleep with Adrian and I would blame Adrian like everyone else does." " But, I knew Adrian would do something like that, and I expected Henry to know better. " "So Dad, I didn't throw our friendship away for one little mistake he did." Ben said with anger and hurt in his voice.

"Well, I guess it is your decision and you do have a point, Leo said after remembering how Reuben told him of Adrian's confession for her true feelings for Ben. "But what else are you not telling me? Leo aksed. "Well, I decided that besides Henry, that I should stop being friends with Ricky and Amy? " Ben said with a little hesitancy.

"Are you sure son you, Amy, Ricky, and Adrian have been through a lot together as well, Leo said. "I know Dad, but we both know that not all of it was good either, in fact hardly any of it was good, at least not good for me and Adrian anyways." "Ben, are you sure that you're not going to be friends with them out of jealousy, or anger about what they have, and you and Adrian don't?" Leo asked. "Dad, I'm not going to lie that is one of the reason's why, but it is not the only reason." He said looking at his father with regret.

"Dad, I need to move on with my life and the only way to do that is to leave everything that holds me back in the past, and one of those things are my feelings for Amy." "If I had stopped feeling guilty for hurting her maybe I could have thought about taking things slow with Adrian, or at least have been able to be the husband that she needed.

Instead I felt that our daughter died because, I never let myself love her mother or her because I felt that I didn't deserve to be happy for something that hurt Amy and Ricky. " "But, after everything that happened Amy and Ricky's first time together, Amy's pregnancy, her relationship with me, and his relationship with Adrian, and all the drama that went on between us. I just feel as if Adrian and I kept getting the short end of the stick," he said. "Ricky never really felt guilty for any of the times that he cheated on Adrian, or how he admittedly wanted to be with Amy when she and I were together. She didn't feel bad after telling me that she kissed Ricky.

"Ricky gave me grief for months when he found out Adrian and I were together. Then he gave me even more grief when he found out about us getting married, but I at least gave him a heads up that I was proposing." "After everything I thought the least he could do was let me know what he was going to do so I could at least prepare for it, or at least do it in an intimate fashion between he and Amy." "But just like Amy he wanted everyone to know and make himself the dashing hero, who saves the princess, giving her the happy ending." "I don't need that or anymore of the drama they create in my life Dad." "I promised Adrian that I would always be her friend and that I would always be there for her. I owe it to her and to our daughter. Even though Mercy died she will always connect me and Adrian for the rest of our lives."

But, what about your feelings for Amy son, don't you love her. Leo asked. "I used to Dad, but not anymore, and even though I did love her, I'm not sure if she ever really loved me, he said looking at his father with sadness. "I mean when Amy and I first broke up, I didn't really want to but she didn't want to talk, she just wanted me to break up with her in front of everyone just so I would be the bad guy."

"She always said she loved me, but everytime we had a fight or disagreement I would always see her run to Ricky for support." Amy and I never really had a connection to one another, whether it is wrong or right Adrian and I do. "She and I will alwaysin some way had a connection to one another. "Whether it was helping her deal with her feelings for all of Ricky's transgressions, or my nerves for dealing with all of the trouble that Amy and I were having.

" Now we will always have a connection because of Mercy." Not because she was the person who took my virginity, or because she was also my first REAL WIFE", Ben said remembering the day he saw Adrian in her wedding dress not even Amy he thought compared to how beautigul Adrian looked that day." "But because she was the first girl to ever truly love me back, I was just to stubborn to realize it." Ben said sadly. "Well son it's your decision so I'm going to let you decide," Leo said as he turned to leave. I just hope you know what you're doing. " "Dad, I think we both know by now that I never know what I am doing." Ben then turned out the light laid down, one again, although his headache still pounded the conversation he had just had with his father allowed him to sleep a little peacefully.

**JUNE 6, 2011 8:54 AM GRANT HIGH SCHOOL**

Ben, opened his locker and placed his English book into it at the same time he grabbed his water bottle and swallowed an asprin, his headache still bothered him after his first class. As he turned to place his book in his sack he was surprised to see Amy standing in front of him. "Ben, I know that you don't want to talk to me or anything, but I really need to talk to you, Amy said with a sad tone." "Ben, I know that I deserved what you said yesterday, especially after how I offended your daughter, but I want to apologize and find out if there is a way for us to be friends." "I mean after all of us have been through I don't think we should just walk away from one another with hate or something " she said apologetically.

Amy there is no way for us to be friends after all that has happened. Honestly I don't think we should have even tried to be friends after everything that happened because its impossible. I'm your ex-boyfriend Amy, and Adrian is Ricky's ex-girlfriend, have you ever seen anyone else trying to stay friends with their ex after a breakup. Its because you can't, there is no way for me, or either of us to continue the rest of our lives with the other person in it."

Amy I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying it because it's the truth, Ben said staring at her with a look of concern." "I need to move on with my life Amy and I cant' do that with you in it." "I have said this before and now I have to say it again." "I'm not Johns' father Amy, Ricky is." "Ricky and you are connected for the rest of your lives because of John, just like I am connected to Adrian for the rest of my life to Adrian because of Mercy."

"I owe it to Adrian to be there for her when she needs me, I don't owe that to you, Amy, he said rubbing his forehead." "But Ben I just don't want to lose you, and think that you hate me, she said. "Amy Ben said placing his hand on her shoulder. I wish nothing but the best for you, your son, and Ricky. I hope you two are very happy together and I congratulate you on your engagement. " And I want you to know that I don't hate you I could never hate you Amy, I just don't love you anymore, he said with a look of concern.

And I think I have needed to stop loving you for a while. This way Amy I can move on with the rest of my life and you can move on with yours. Goodbye Amy and I really do wish you and your family nothing but the best. I'll see you around Amy." He then turned closed his locker and realized that after five months his headache had subsided .

As Amy watched Ben walk away tears began to fall from her eyes. She didn't realize it until a tear hit her hand. It was then that she realised that all those months she and Ben were together she didn't just use him, or just needed him she actually loved him. Now her heart was breaking because he no longer loved her. But, worst of all she felt broken because she now did not know if her feelings for Ricky were as pure as she thought they were.


	13. MOVING IN, MOVING OUT, & MOVING ON

**I OWN NOTHING ALL CHARACTERS ARE OWNED BY BRENDA HAMPTON & ABCFAMILY CHANNEL. The events involved are owned by me.**

**MOVING IN MOVING OUT & MOVING ON **

**June 6, 2011 CONDO OF ADRIAN LEE (BOYKEWICH) ENRIQUEZ **

Adrian opened the door to her condo, and took out her cell phone and once again dialed the number that she had placed in her top five. As usual she was sent straight to voice mail and was disappointed at what she heard. "Hello this is Omar I can't come to the phone right now so leave me a message." It annoyed her that for a guy as old as Omar he could be so stubborn like a child, but she had to admit that he had his reasons for being upset with her.

Not only was he angry that she had kissed Ricky after going to the party with him, but he was also upset with her when he found out that she slept with her husbands best friend. She wondered how he had found out about that, but with all the people there that day, and all the gossiping that was done in their town she was not surprised. She wondered how was it Ben of all people could forgive her for hurting him and humiliating him like that, why couldn't Omar. It wasn't as if they were officially together or anything for all reasons they couldn't be official until she and Ben were officially divorced.

Divorced, she thought to herself, that word seemed so finite, it scared her. She knew that her father had been married, and divorced on several occasions, but she never thought she would follow in his foot steps. She knew that she and Ben were young and that many marriages for young people didn't last past a year at most, but she and Ben didn't even last past six months. Most of their problems came from the very thing that brought them together their daughter. When they were together she remembered they were on fire. It was if nothing and no one could bring either of them down. But, she never thought that they would bring each other down, and it would be she who ended their marriage.

She knew in the beginning that it was Ben who wanted to leave at first, especially after he lost his temper after she got rid of the nursery, but she couldn't really blame him for that. He said a lot of mean things that truly hurt her on so many levels, but she had to admit much of what he said made sense. But, then he got drunk, made a fool of himself and pretended to move out, only to come back to her and apologize. What was even weirder was the fact that when she agreed to just end it, all because of, who Ben wasn't. He looked so hurt and sad when she told him how she wanted Ricky and n him.

To make matters worse when she finally realized that she didn't really have feelings for Ricky and she was left standing in the center of the room after Omar left, instead of letting her stay there and take what she had coming he came up and rescued her once again. For a moment she felt safe again, and thought maybe we can come back, but as he said before he wanted them to stay friends and that red head took him away from her. She had to admit when she saw that girl take him away from her it angered her. It reminded her of when she found out that Ricky kissed Amy, and once again she wanted to make herself feel better, by getting drunk and sleeping with someone, unfortunately that someone was Henry.

She thought that this way she could prove that Ben was just like all the rest, and that he didn't really care for her. But, as usual Ben lived up to his name as a Prince and forgave her. He actually seemed to be mad at himself rather than at her. But, yesterday after what he said to Amy, she knew Ben had moved on finally moved on with his life.

His words still rang in her ear as he stood there and stared holes into Amy, after she insulted both her and Mercy. When she heard what Amy said to Ben about how she couldn't give birth to her daughter, how she deserved to lose her. It made her want to kill Amy right then and there, but as usual, "HER PRINCE" came to her rescue again. What Ben said still made her tingle when she heard him speak.

"_You know what Amy SHUT UP. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP. What happened to my daughter was no one's fault, and for you to say that, finally makes me glad. You know I always felt guilty for sleeping with Adrian, the way I did. I even got mad at her for why we ended up sleeping together. But, now I see it was a good thing that I slept with her. Because that night I was with someone, who was honest and actually cared about me. And now I can honestly say it was the best night of my life, and I no longer feel guilty about it. It allowed me to be with someone who actually loved me and wasn't looking to use me. Instead of a lying, selfish, gold digging, slut like you. Yeah, I said it Amy slut. You called Adrian that on so many occasions, and I wonder how does it, make you feel to be on the other end of that word."_

She was shocked, and overwhelmed with surprise when Ben Boykewich, told off the so called "LOVE OF HIS LIFE" in defense of her and their daughter. Innocently inside her she realized with that statement, she held an even more special place in his heart and in his life than Amy. Sure, Amy had Ricky, and John, but she would always have Ben now, and in her eyes, out of every thing that went on between all of them, she realized he was the prize not Ricky, or John. She felt a little bad to realize that now that she and he were no longer together and getting a divorce. "Irony", she said allowed to herself. "Is one cruel bitch, I gave up a Prince and a kingdom, for a condo and an asshole."

It was then that Adrian heard a knock on the front door of her condo, and went to answer it. There in front of her was a face she did not expect to see, Grace Bowman. Grace stood in front of Adrian with a suit case and some of her other belonging's, also she had appeared to have been crying. "Grace, sweetie what are you doing here, aren't you suppose to be at med camp?" Adrian asked a little surprised at seeing Grace. "Adrian it's a long story, but can I please move in with you for a while because I am never going back home again," she said ready to start crying again.

"Grace of course, but honey what's wrong what could have happened that made you leave med camp, and move out?" Adrian asked concerned for her friend. "Med-Camp, was the worst Adrian," Grace said as she shed tears and walked into the condo. "At first everything was okay and going smoothly, even though Grant and I aren't together we're still trying to be friends, but that's over with now," she said in between sobs.

"How is it over Grace, I thought you still liked Grant, did he do something wrong?" Adrian asked surprised at Grace's state. "Oh, he didn't something wrong he did someone wrong," Grace said with anger and jealousy in her voice. "Do you remember that girl Raven we met at the party," Grace explained. "Yeah Daniel's ex-girlfriend," Adrian replied. "Well, I didn't tell you this because I didn't think it was important, but Jack slept with her." Grace said with another sob. "HE WHAT", Adrian yelled! "Grace I am so sorry, I thought Jack honestly wanted to get back together with you", Adrian replied in a soothing tone.

"It's all right Jack wasn't the problem we agreed that after he left the cabin that we would stay friends and in the future when I was done with school that we would wait and see if we still had feelings for each other she said." "Okay then Gracie what is the problem, how come you are so upset"? Adrian asked still trying to understand the situation. "Well as it turns out Raven is one of the supervising interns at Med Camp and she found out that I was going to be there." "So, she literally spent my first week there getting on my nerves and doing her best to try and get me to mess up." Grace said becoming angry at all that happened to her in her first week of Camp. "Okay that bitch", Adrian sneered as she began to realize the cause of Grace's departure from med camp.

"Yeah well it doesn't end there either", Grace said with a frown. "Grant realized what she was doing and tried to get her to put a stop to it, but instead she found a way to get him kicked out of the camp by saying that he was making improper advances toward her. "Oh my God, Grace is Grant okay," Adrian asked worriedly. "He's fine, as it turns out Grant's uncle is actually the man running the program and he knew something was wrong." "But I didn't know that, for some reason out of all the time we had been dating Grant never told me that his uncle ran the program." "So when I found out what Raven was doing, I got so mad that I confronted her." "All right Gracie, I hope you gave that bitch a slap for me too", Adrian replied.

"I wouldn't applaud just yet, Adrian." Grace said looking even more downtrodden. "Okay why do I have a feeling that something else happened that you're not telling me." Adrian asked as she surveyed the blond who was now sitting down and twisting a handkerchief in her hand furiously. "Well, she said something to me that really got me angry." Grace said looking at Adrian innocently. "Grace, what did she say?" Adrian asked. "She told me the only reason I was with Daniel was because my steroid, football player ex-boyfriend Jack couldn't get the job done, like a black man could." Grace said becoming angrier. "Grace she didn't" Adrian said as she sat down on the sofa next to her friend shocked at what she just heard. "Yeah, and that's when the fight broke out, and we were both ex-spelled from Med Camp, since it has a zero tolerance policy for fighting. Not to mention we were both completely kicked out of the program and not allowed to come back, EVER," the blond responded.

"Grace, I'm so sorry for you" Adrian said placing her hand on Grace's shoulder. "But, tell me why is it you want to move out of your parents' house," she asked still confused. "I mean, your mom would probably be mad about you getting ex-spelled for life from med camp, but she couldn't be that mad. "She isn't the one who is mad, Adrian I'm mad at her, and my dad, and my, my, my, brother." Grace said as stood up and started pacing angrily across the floor. "Okay chica, I can almost understand you being mad at this girl Raven, but what did your mom, step dad, and especially Tom do, to get you so upset?" Adrian asked.

"Tom isn't the brother I'm mad at Adrian, and I said I was mad at my dad, not my step dad." Grace said becoming even more, angry. "Okay, now you have me confused", Adrian said as she stared at Grace looking for an explanation to her last comment. "My Dad, Adrian you know the man who I thought I killed because I had sex with Jack." "The man who I thought was an angel on earth, and everything I thought all men should be like." "Turns out all those times, he complained about me having sex, and how he wanted me to become doctor so I could help people across the world." "Yeah, I know him Grace, I met him, and went to his funeral". "Well, he can burn in hell, for all I care." said the Christian blond. "In fact he probably already is in hell, since that is where all the adulterer's and sinners' go." Grace said with a cruel snarl.

"HOLD THE PHONE GRACIE!" Adrian replied looking at her with a large expression of shock on her face. "You mean your dad cheated on your mom, and had another kid!" Adrian exclaimed. "Oh Yeah, Grace replied. Turns out all of his pilgrimages to Africa to help the sick was a big front for him to go and hook up with the local women, and see his bastard son, Jacob", Grace said furiously. "Grace!" Adrian said looking at her with fury. "If you want to be mad and call people names do it to your dad, and mom." "Or have you forgotten that I can take offense to that word to", Adrian replied looking intently at Grace. Grace looked and Adrian and remembered that Adrian herself was not born in wedlock for although her parents were married and together now, they weren't for sixteen years. Also had it not been for Adrian's actions to find her father her parent's would not be together now.

"Adrian I'm so sorry for what I said, I forgot, I'm just so mad right now I'm not thinking straight", the blond replied touching Adrian's hand. "Its okay Grace, but I'm not the one who you called a bastard." "This mess is entirely Dr. Bowman's fault and not your mom or what was his name Jacob's fault either." Adrian said now calming her blond friend down. "I know Adrian, I just can't understand, how my dad could do something like this and not even tell us about it." Grace said as she began to cry again.

"Well how did you find out Grace," Adrian asked as she began to comfort her friend" "Well, my dad had part of the money that he set up in a trust set up for Jacob, to be sent to a private school in London." "As it turns out Jacob's mom died during child birth and he has been raised by a village doctor who runs the clinic where my dad worked on his pilgrimage." But, Jacob didn't want to go to a school in London, he wanted to come to America, and be his family, I. E. me and Tom."

"So when he found out that my mom had remarried and she was visiting my step dad in South Africa he found her and presented her with a Letter of Introduction that my Dad had written for him the day that he was born, should he ever want to may contact with us and my dad wasn't here." Grace then sat down on the sofa again and began to compose herself. "My mom not knowing what to do and the fact that she knew she couldn't blame Jacob brought him home anyway, because as she put it she couldn't just turn him away."

"Grace I'm sorry that your dad, would do something like that to your family." "But, try and think how Jacob fee's right now. I mean you, Tom, and your mom are the only family he has left, can you blame him for finding you out, and trying to be part of your lives." "I know that Adrian, but when I found out that the man that I have looked up to and compared every man that I have ever dated to, was even worse than Ricky I just couldn't stay in that house anymore knowing that our family, my family, me, my mom, and Tom weren't good enough for him I just lost it and left." Grace said in the most, saddest tone Adrian had ever heard her speak in. "Adrian had not seen Grace this broken hearted since she discovered that her father died.

"So Adrian you're literally the only person I could turn to right, now so is it okay if I crash here for a while until I can figure out what else to do," Grace asked looking innocently at Adrian. "Of course Gracie, you're my best friend, and probably my only friend." You have stuck by me through all of my grief and drama so now it's my turn to stick by you." Adrian said placing an arm around Grace." "Besides, maybe a bit of your good nature will hopefully rub off on me, but I am really scared if a part of me rubs off on you." Adrian said with a cheerful grin.

Okay, thanks Adrian, so what has been happening in your life since I've been gone for a week she said. Just then Adrian heard another knock at the door. As she got up she looked at Grace and said, "I hope this isn't Tom asking to move in because I only have one bedroom you know." As Adrian opened the door she was surprised to see another face she had expected to see at all. "Dante, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing here!" Adrian said angrily.

.


	14. LITTLE MISS, LITTLE MISS, IS SO WRONG

**I OWN NOTHING ALL CHARACTERS ARE OWNED BY BRENDA HAMPTON & ABCFAMILY CHANNEL. The events involved are owned by me.**

**Little Miss Little Miss Is So Wrong**

**JUNE 9, 2011 GEOFF'S**

**ADRIAN & DANTE**Adrian walked into the restaurant wearing her red dress, looking surprisingly stunning that night. She was somewhat nervous to be going out with Dante especially after how he had treated her on their first date, but he apologized and after finding out that his brother had also tried to be with her, and dumped her he thought it was a second chance for him and he should not waist it. So he asked her out on a real date with no strings just her and him having dinner together and seeing if they might actually like one another.

"Good evening Mrs. Boykewich, will your husband be joining you this evening?" The waiter asked as he helped her to her seat. "What," Adrian asked surprised as she sat down and looked at the waiter in the face. It was not long before she recognized the waiter as the same man who had served both she and Ben the night they had come from their last doctor's appointment with Dr. Otavii. "Oh, no he won't be she said looking at the waiter he and I are no longer together, " she said with a little embarrassment. "I'm sorry to hear that Mrs. I mean Miss. May I get you a menu or will you not be dining alone this evening?" He asked feeling ashamed of his last statement. "No I'm meeting someone tonight ", she said feeling odd about the whole experience.

It was odd she thought to herself, here she was in a beautiful dress that she bought for Ben, going on a date with the very guy she had fooled around with only a day after she had kicked him out of their condo. She also felt somewhat ashamed about being here in the restaurant where she and Ben had their last date as a family. She felt as though she was being deceitful, dating a new guy when she and Ben were not officially divorced yet, until she looked around and saw two very familiar faces.

As Adrian looked across the room she saw her soon to be ex-husband being seated at a table not too far from her with the same red head she had seen him with at the party. Adrian looked as the waiter seated them both and left the menus on the table as, Ben began to talk to Dylan. For some reason Adrian didn't know why she became upset with the situation, and shed a tear. Just as she wiped the tear away she looked up and saw Ben turn in his chair to face her. At that same instant Dante arrived wearing a tan jacket jeans and a white collar shirt.

"Hey pretty lady, I hope I didn't keep you waiting long," he said as he kissed her on the cheek and sat down. Adrian then turned to see Ben still watching her, having seen the entire exchange. As she watched him looking at her she noticed something in his eyes as though a flash of anger had come to it, then there was a look of calm on his face. Instead of making a scene and yelling at her for being there with a new guy, Ben simply waved to her as he watched them, and turned to speak with his date. Adrian smiled at that, knowing that out of everything that had happened between them, Ben could still be civil.

So, she decided if Ben could be civilized and not become a jealous, spurned lover, then why should see. "So is that the ex or soon to be ex husband", Dante asked as he noticed Adrian staring at Ben from across the room. "Well if it is any of your business, yeah it is," she said a little sarcastically. "No offense he seems like a great guy and all, but he doesn't really look like your type." "And what would you know about my type." Adrian asked flirtatiously. "Even though I don't know you that well from what I do know of you, he seems like the nice guy goody two shoes type, and you seem like the girl who doesn't want to be taken home to meet the parents, he said with a smirk. "That smirk Adrian thought to herself just like Ricky's perhaps Dante was more her type, since she did seem to like guys who liked to play her games.

"Well you don't know him that well, because if you did you would know that looks are deceiving ", she said giving him a wink. "Well if they are, Dante said leaning in closer to Adrian across the table. "Then I can't wait to be lied too." This play on words that Dante could use with her gave Adrian a little thrill. She had never met a guy that liked to talk to her like that not even Ricky.

Antonio was her first he sparked that youthful energy she kept inside her when she was a child. But, she was no longer a child and even though he saved her from her loneliness he never really could see into her pain. Ricky was fun and thrilling mainly when it came to sex, but outside of that they never really had a flare for conversation, mainly because Ricky was the strong and very silent type. Jack was usually the lesser end of a conversation because he might have been nice to look at, but he never had a fire in him either. Max matched her intellectual level that few could put together, he was mature and he was strong willed and also noble.

As for Ben, well Adrian judged Ben on a different level from everyone else. He was sweet kind, innocent, and caring he was keen to her emotions more than anyone else she had ever met. She and he both were very emotional people and they allowed their emotions to guide them. Adrian always believed that was the real reason their relationship worked and why it also failed. But, as Dante admitted to Ben was also too nice, too nice for she thought. But unfortunately Adrian also thought to herself, thanks to her he was no longer innocent.

**BEN & DYLAN  
**Ben arrived at the restaurant a little ahead of Dylan, and waited for her to arrive. The movie they saw was a romantic comedy of which he did not like, mostly because he had enough of romance, and decided that he no longer believed in love. But, Dylan was fun unlike every other girl she was knew and not complicated. She never met Ricky Underwood so she did not fall head over heels in love with him. Best of all she was still a virgin so she never had sex, got pregnant, or became obsessed with anyone. Also from what he could gather she also liked him, which is something she let him know the night of the party without any games.

Ben, was in awe of that experience at the party when they began to talk to one another. She actually told him about how her father ran an advertising firm in Colorado, and her mom was a schoolteacher. She had only two siblings and they were both still in grade school. She came from a small community where everyone was related to everyone so there were no secrets in their town. She also wore a chastity ring which showed her obligation to her church that she was not going to have sex until marriage.

Dylan he thought to himself might not be the girl for him, but she was the girl for right now and he needed that for now. Out of everything he had been through he thought to himself, "I need this to just be on a date without any of the complications." But, as he listened to Dylan talk about the movie and how she loved Jennifer Anniston, Dylan stopped talking because she noticed they were being stared at. "Ben, isn't that the girl you were dancing with at the party, the one who hooked up with your friend Henry."

Ben then turned in his seat to see Adrian sitting across the room and to see a smooth looking black guy lean down and kiss her on the cheek. As Ben looked at this site he saw a flash of red, and at that time his headache returned to him. "Man, he thought to himself why does God hate me so much?" I have to be calm about this, he thought. I'm on a date tonight, so it is only fair, and obvious that she would be dating again as well. So instead of losing his temper and attacking the guy that had just touched his wife, Ben simply gave Adrian a small smile and waved. He then turned around and continued his date with Dylan.

"So, is there something going on between the two of you Ben? " Dylan asked as she sipped from her glass of water. "Yeah, she used to be my wife, or still is my wife, we're getting a divorce." Ben said in a nonchalant manner. "(Spitting water) WHAT!" Dylan said as she heard his last comment in disbelief. Ben I thought you were only seventeen" she said in shock. "I am only seventeen." Ben replied back. "But I am about to turn eighteen and also about to get divorced as well." Ben said explaining to Dylan.

Dylan, I'm sorry if this catches you by surprise", he responded. "I'll say!" the young woman replied." "I've dated other guys before, Ben." "Some of whom were in relationships, but I've never actually been the other woman." She said in a whisper that only Ben could hear. "Dylan you're not the other woman, she and I are still married, but things didn't work out." "Mainly because we rushed into both our relationship and our marriage and we were originally together for the wrong reason. " "But, we both realized the mistake we made, and now we're both trying to get on with our lives" he said in the most sincere voice he could manage to speak in.

"If that's the case then why did you get dance with her at the party, and then get so upset when you found out she hooked up with your friend," she asked in a hushed tone. "Because, I still had and I guess still have some unresolved feelings for her I." "But, that doesn't change the fact, that we are no longer together and that because after what happened at the party, I guess we can never get back together", he said becoming sad at his own words.

"Ben, I'm sorry I just didn't know." Dylan replied as she reached across the table and placed her hand in his. "You know what lets, get out of here." She said with a sly grin. "But, we haven't eaten yet," he said as she began to pull his arm as she got up from the table and grabbed her purse. "I'm not really hungry yet, but I think we will both be hungry in a minute she replied. "Dylan I can't go my drive drove me here he said." "Well, I brought my car and if we sneak around back, I'm sure we can dodge him if we use the alley for cover," she said still smiling.

Ben was shocked that this girl whom he barely knew actually wanted to do something so sneaky with him. The only other girl that wanted something like that with him was Maria, but she had only befriended him as a request her father made in an attempt to meet with Leo. Ben, was a little angry at Maria for doing something so underhanded like that when they first met, but Maria, also admitted to him that she liked him too. So that was the beginning of their Bologna adventure together. Now here in his home town he had found another girl that allowed him to forget about his trouble, and just start to enjoy life again. With her he had no worries of pregnancy, or sex, or of her falling in love and becoming obsessed with some other guy, at least he hoped as much.

**ADRIAN & DANTE**

As Ben and Dylan ducked out of the restaurant, Adrian saw them leave and was a bit concerned. The flirty red head had Ben smiling and for some reason, and she didn't know why but that infuriated her. Adrian tried to pay attention to what Dante was saying, but she also tried to concentrate on where that girl was leading her Ben. "My Ben," she thought to herself. That was not the first time she had thought about Ben in that way. Ben was hers more than anyone else's more than his father's, more than his friends', and even more than Amy's.

She loved the fact that she was the girl that took Ben's virginity although she would never gloat over that fact she felt guilty for how it happened, but she knew if someone asked her would she have slept with Ben that night knowing of what would happen, even the pain of losing her daughter, she would have to say yes. She was honored by the fact that, she was connected to someone for once in her life. She, had that feeling with Antonio, but that was a connection that was lost, and that is why she gave herself to so many others. Ricky never even wanted that connection with her, no matter how hard she tried to create one.

But, Ben was the person who no matter what the consequences would always be hers. No matter how far apart they were, or who they were with they literally belonged to one another and that is what she wanted a connection. She realized that after he left the condo for the last time after returning the ring to her, she thought as she rubbed the ring still on her finger."Adrian, Adrian! Dante said as he tried to get her attention.

"I'm listening, you don't have to yell," Adrian said as her thoughts and attention returned to Dante. "Man I guess that husband of yours was more your type than I thought," he said looking at her with a grin. "In a lot of ways he was, we just weren't ready to be married," Adrian replied as she watched Ben and Dylan disappear through the kitchen doors. "Well looks like that date he has, took his attention away from you maybe I should take a page out of her book and do the same" he responded taking Adrian's hand and looking deeply at her.

"What do you mean by that," Adrian asked as she looked at him with smirk of her own. "Well, the last time I remember you wanted to get a tattoo, and I was wondering if you ever got around to getting one?" He asked in a very seductive manner. "Well, if I did what makes you think that after what you did, after the last time that I would show it to you," she responded with an even more seductive tone. "Because, you know that you want too, and after seeing your ex-husband have his little fun, it means you should be allowed to have yours too." "Well maybe if you play your cards right, we can both have some fun," she suggested.

**BEN & DYLAN**

As Dylan led Ben outside past the kitchen, into the alley they craftily made their way between the alleyways so Mike would not see them get into Dylan's car which was parked down the street, and drive away. Ben, was ecstatic with a rush that he thought only Adrian could give him. The need to disobey his father and just have fun with someone he thought. "Now Ben," she said looking at him with a smile as she drove her Dodge Avenger down the street, just because I feel sorry for you doesn't mean I'm going to let you take advantage of me," she said with a smile.

"Dylan, trust me I would never do that to you", he said looking at her intently. "Besides I'm a nice guy and you can trust me can't you?" He asked looking at her. "I don't know, I'm still trying to decide." She said with a grin. "I mean you haven't been trustworthy so far, leading me on at the party so you could sleep with me." "Then leaving me, and not even calling me the next day." "Now you spring it on me that you're married." "How do I know I can trust you," she said laughing.

"Well, technically I didn't call because I lost your number". And considering what happened at the party I should be given some slack, I was pretty emotional." "Also, I didn't lie to you about being married, I told you before anything between us happened." He said in an innocent dignified manner. "We slept together already," she said giggling. "Yeah, we slept together, and I was a perfect gentleman the entire night," he replied.

"All right," she said then lets have some fun tonight she screamed as she turned the radio up and opened the moon roof of her car. "Tell me have you ever let loose, Sausage Prince, she said taken on a serious tone. "What do you mean?" he asked becoming curious. I mean have you ever partaken in any illegal activity that might get you into trouble?" she asked. "Once, he said remembering his embarrassment of getting drunk at Geoff's.

"What about smoking, have you ever done that," she asked still in a serious tone. "What you mean like cigarettes, he asked. "If you mean the jazz cigarette yeah," she said reaching into her glove compartment, and removing a joint that had not been lit. "Where did you get this he asked looking at the joint in her hand. "I have my connections she said putting the joint in her mouth and pushing the lighter button on her car. Ben, became nervous as Dylan took the lighter from its holder and lit the strong smelling narcotic.

"Well, where I come," from she said as she inhaled the aroma of the joint, "its' puff, puff, pass as she handed Ben the joint. The joint which was making Ben feel dizzy, nauseous, and at the same time relaxed even his headache seemed to go away. "Dylan you do drugs? Ben asked as he looked at her in bewilderment. "Ben in Colorado, we don't really call smoking a little reefer doing drugs, its mostly like kids smoking cigarettes without the cancer." "It lets us have a little fun, and enjoy ourselves, which from what I hear is even better than sex, she said still holding the joint toward him.


	15. RED MEANS STOP GREEN MEANS GO YELLOW M

**I own nothing this is just a figment of my imagination. The title and characters of this story are owned by Brenda Hampton & The Producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL SHOW "THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER. ENJOY**

**RED MEANS STOP; GREEN MEANS GO; YELLOW MEANS SLOW; & WHITE MEANS BLACKOUT!**

I'm late," Ben said to him self as he hurriedly got out of bed and began to head to the bathroom in order to get dressed for school today. The past few weeks had been hectic for him ever since he hooked up with Dylan and they were as he thought a world wind romance. He was surprised at how much they had in common, and he was even more surprised when she revealed the she and her friends had been using marijuana since they were thirteen years old.

Going to an all girl school they had little to do and even fewer people to do it with. So she and her friends decided they would take it upon themselves to be the bad girls in school. Each school had a set of girls that were trouble and Dylan and her friends specifically her friend Raven were those girls. However they only got into relative trouble skipping classes, cutting from school, and every now and then they would also shoplift.

Ben was truly taken in awe with Dylan she was indeed trouble for him, and he knew it but for some reason he could not bare to be away from her. She was actually interested in him she enjoyed his corny jokes, she loved the same things he did and she didn't want to start a life with him. He was mesmerized by the fact that she enjoyed spending time with him just to be with him.

Amy he thought only wanted to be with him, because of the situation she was in, and he blamed himself for falling in love with her so fast without ever realizing the obvious. Amy was only with him because he had money, and he could provide a life for her that Ricky could not. He never tried to look at the situation he and Amy had in that way until the day she brought up the subject of her moving in with him. At first he was okay with Amy and John moving in with him, because it would allow him to be closer to both of them, and it would keep Ricky out of her bedroom. It would also help him build a relationship with John, but it was how Amy said it which made him think other wise.

**FLASHBACK JANUARY 14 2010**  
"_Come on Ben if we move in together and get engaged it means we'll be closer to one another and until we are married we can do other things together, Amy said as she closed her arms around his neck and kissed him._"

**PRESENT DAY JUNE 23, 2011**  
Ben hated hearing that from Amy that they could have sex if she was allowed to move in with he and his father. He remembered how Adrian mentioned to him that Amy was actually a gold digger looking for him to take care of her and John. She also made it a point to bring up that if he didn't have money would Amy really be interested in him instead of Ricky. She also said that if Ricky were to have the ability to take care of John like he could would they really be together.

As Ben began to get dressed for school he buttoned his shirt and began to understand that Adrian had been right. When his father began to help Ricky by giving him a job and the apartment Amy then began to distance herself from him and rely more on Ricky. So he guessed Adrian was right Amy was only with him because of what he could do for her and what Ricky could not.

But, he wondered "why was Adrian with me", he thought to himself. For a moment he thought the same thing of her she did make out pretty nice in the divorce settlement and she didn't really start to warm up to the idea of them together till after he gave her the ring Betty had given him. "I guess deep down Adrian was no better than Amy" he said to himself as he grabbed his keys off his nightstand looked himself over in the mirror, and headed downstairs. He was happy today it was only three weeks until his eighteenth birthday, and his father had given him back the keys to his car. His dad was somewhat upset about him ditching Mike at Geoff's, but considering he and Dylan wanted to be alone his father forgave him.

Ben still felt a little guilty for not telling his father the entire details of that night, but he didn't smoke the marijuana when Dylan passed it to him. He told his father that they just went for a drive up the coast and he made it back to the Geoff's paid the bill and made it back just in time for curfew so Leo was not that upset. Even though Ben knew he should tell his dad everything that happened that night, he really liked Dylan and he didn't want what she did sometimes to affect his relationship with her.

"Dad I'm headed to school," he said over his shoulder and opened the door. It was in that moment that Ben got a sharp pain in the center of his forehead. "Not again, he said to himself as he pinched his nose and tightly closed his eyes to overcome the pain he was having. As the pain subsided as quickly as it came he turned went back to his room and grabbed his final bottle of "Tylenol" from his medicine cabinet. He then ran down stairs and jumped into his car and headed towards school. As he passed Henry's house he saw the young man ahead of him walking slowly toward school. Usually Madison gave Henry a ride since the two had started to becoming closer, but if she wasn't there to give him one today then it was not his problem he thought to himself as he revved his engine and sped past his Henry toward school.

Ben pulled into the driveway of the school and saw Adrian kissing the same guy she was with from the party. Omar was the name Grace had told Alice who told him. But, Ben was not interested what Adrian did or who she did it. Although she was still his legal wife, and his friend if he they still were, they were no longer together and she was no longer his concern. He was free of the entire dramatic situation. He was free of Amy; Ricky; John; Henry; and Adrian. Sure he would still be friends with Adrian, but he no longer would share his life with her. He felt a little sad to himself as he came to that final thought.

Ben let, that thought sit on his mind for a moment sharing his life with Adrian. Once upon a time he thought to himself he couldn't wait to spend his life with her. He wanted to be her husband, and father to their child, but when it came so close to being true he was scared. He was only seventeen and he felt as if his life was ending as his wedding to Adrian drew near, but it was on the day of his wedding seeing her stand there looking at him just as scared. It was that moment that he knew he truly loved Adrian and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

But, that was then and this is now. Adrian and he lost their daughter, he yelled at her and hurt her. She in turn hurt him by declaring her love for Ricky, kicking him out of their home, and sleeping with his best friend. "Why is it he wondered "Why do the ones we love the most hurt us the most"? He slowly grabbed his books and headed into the school. As he made it inside he noticed that the hallways were empty and he was alone, which meant that he was late and needed an excuse. He went to his locker placed his back pack inside, and went to see the guidance counselor.

Ben, went down the hall and knocked on Kaitlynn's door who, put on a big smile as the young man walked into her office. "Well I hope this is not about your cousin coming to visit agian," she said as he sat down. "No, and I am still sorry for that incident, I just came to get a late excuse." Ben said remembering how Dylan and her friends came to school to visit one day. "But, as I said then that will not ever, ever, happen again and I swear I will do my best to keep Dylan and her friends on a tight leash," he said witha smile. "Well, I hope you do Ben," Kaitlynn replied as she looked at Ben with a concerend smile.

"But, Ben I am just wondering how are you doing after all that has happened?" "What do you mean," Ben replied" "Ben you have gone through some pretty emotional and tragic events in the past few months, no past few years." "I know from the files that you are a very optimistic, and caring young man, but I don't believe anyone who has endured as much as you have can go through all of this at such a young age and come out unscathed, " she told him becoming very serious.

"Well, I guess I'm just one of those guys who lets bad things roll off his shoulders", Ben said with a grin. "Ben please be serious." Kaitlynn responded. "You have lost your child, and you are getting a divorce from a girl that for all I can tell you really cared for." "You also watched the first girl you ever loved get engaged to a man who, was your friend but for the most part caused the end of your marriage." "On top of that your best friend slept with your wife, and there is still a video of you online passing out drunk at Geoff's."

"I have never met anyone so young, and good natured endure all that, and then be able to just let it roll off your shoulders." "Ben I am worried about you and your relationship with this girl Dylan, on the academic side from what I have learned about her she is an A student at her school with she and all her friends, but they are also responsible for getting into a lot of trouble as well." "I'm just worried your relationship with someone like her, after all that you have been through might just be dangerous."

"Dylan isn't dangerous she is someone who I care alot about," Ben replied becoming frustrated as his headache returned once again. "Look Ms. O'Malley, I know that my life in the past has been full of alot of problems, but you don't have to worry about me and Dylan." "Dylan isn't like Amy, or Adrian "he said aloud not knowing Adrian who was also late was standing outside the doorway. "Dylan is nice, kind, sweet, and unlike them she doesn't want to hurt me, or use me, or make a fool of me like they did."

"Dylan might have a few flaws, but who am I to complain, Ben responded. "She likes me for me, she doesn't like me because she is pregnant, like Amy and Adrian did." "She is still a virgin unlike both of them, and she has never met Ricky Underwood, so I never have to worry about her falling in love with him and only setteling for me, because he no longer has use for her like he did with Adrian." "Ben, Kaitlynn said calmly, I know that both Amy, and Adrian hurt you but I am certain they really cared about you, she said trying to calm the now irritated young man." "Well, if that were true would we really be having this conversation, Ben replied now a bit angry and unsettled because of his headache."

"The truth is I was just a stupid guy that fell for the wrong woman twice, and I paid for both mistakes, heavily." "In the end Amy was always in love with Ricky, and Adrian just didn't want me." "I'm able to accept that, and live with it", Ben replied. "Ben, I'm just wondering how can you, I have read and seen cases of kids, who have gone though less than what you have endured, and they all turned to bad behaviours to deal with their problems." "I'm just trying to make sure, that Dylan is not your choice of bad habit to deal with your broblems, Kaitlynn said, sounding very concerned. "Well if she is my poison at least she can do no more damage than the first two." Ben said looking unconcerned for Kaitlynns worry. "Ben, I wouldn't be so sure about that Kaitlynn said as she gave him an excuse and he got up to leave.

As Ben, headed out the doorway he ran into Adrian who was standing outside and overheard the entire conversation. "Hi Ben, she said as he turned to acknowledge her. "Hi, he replied back and prepared to get to class." "Ben wait, can I talk to you a minute?" Adrian asked. "Well, I really have to get to class, and I'm already late can it wait until later," he said not wanting to talk to her.

This having been the first conversation either have had with the other since they saw one another at Geoff's three weeks ago. "Ben, we're both late this will only take a minute," she said touching his arm. That touch remembered Ben as he felt it sent a fire through him, and he quickly repressed that feeling Adrian would always give him. That sensation of passion and wonderment, a feeling that he now tried to erase from his heart about Adrian, and tried unsuccessfully to have for Dylan.

Fine what is it that you want to talk about?" Ben said still irritated and trying to avoid his now pounding headache. "I overheard your conversation in the counselor's office, and I wanted to know is what she said true? Adrian asked looking at him intently. Ben turned away from her gaze realizing that her eyes as he remembered always had a hyptnotizing affect on him. "What are you talking about, he asked?" "Are you letting this Dylan chic guide you down the wrong road as some way to deal with whatever problems you have." "And those problems would be, what exactly," Ben responded.

"Because I don't have any problems anymore, he said hunching his shoulders." "I'm happy, you're happy, and so are Amy and Ricky", he said nonchalantly. None of us should have any problems anymore." "You and I are not teenage parents , Amy and Ricky are engaged and living together raising their son." "I finally got to see the louse of a friend Henry was." "And you get to date any guy you want, instead of being trapped in a loveless marriage with me, just so we can compete in some stupid competition with Amy and Ricky that we were never going to win anyway." "So I have no problems," he said with a synical grin and voice, that almost made Adrian shudder.

"Ben, you don't have to say it like that" Adrian replied becoming saddened at his words. "Like what", he responded coldly. "Like you and I never meant anything to each other", she said in a voice that was both angry and sad. "Did we ever mean anything to each other Adrian?" Ben responded coldly. "We only started out as friends to keep them apart, and look what happened." "Because we only slept together, to get even with Amy and Ricky." "Lets, just face it you and I, the pregnancy was a mistake, and our daughter dying proved that." "Heck our marriage proved that, he said looking at her coldly." "Ben, I don't know what is wrong with you or why you are acting like this, but we both know that isn't true," she said now getting upset.

"Adrian if it wasn't true then would we be standing here talking like this?" "Would you really be sleeping with other men in our bed, while still wearing my engagement ring?" "I think it is true, and even if it weren't true then its becoming true now isn't it," he said feeling angry and upset at himself and her. "Ben, I'm just trying to warn you to be careful with this girl," Adrian said composing herself. "Because as your friend, and your still legal wife I am trying to look out for you, she said dryly. "Other wise Dylan will get you into even more trouble than I did," she said dryly.

"Well, Adrian as my friend, and my legal wife I'm asking you too mind your own business." 'I don't try and control what you do in your life or who you do it with." And as my soon to be ex-wife I have to remind you, this is my life and soon you won't have a say in what I do, or who I do it with. Adrian and Ben then separated from one another both feeling hurt and angry about the conversation. Adrian, turned as he walked away and let the tears she had been holding back fall from her eyes and went into the ladies room. Ben just let a tear fall from his eye as he felt angry with himself for the words he had spoken, and instead of going to get the aspirin for his headache decided to suffer through the pain as a punishment for how he knew he hurt Adrian with his lies and his words to her.

**School Day Ends Jeurgens Household (Kitchen)**  
"Ashley where did you move the granola bars, I had them up here on the shelf in the pantry," Amy yelled as she went on a frantic search for the item in the kitchen. "Their in the cabinet over the stove Amy, so stop complaining, Ashley replied as she came into the kitchen with her suit case. "God why is it you have to be move everything around Ashley," Amy whined as she retrieved the granola bars.

"Amy what are you talking about Dad bought those for everyone so why are you so mad about where I move stuff," Ashely replied becoming angry with her sisters attitude. "I would just like it if when I come home, and I'm hungry that I could come into the kitchen and get my snack without having to go on a scavenger hunt for it", she replied with a huff.

"But, this isn't your home Amy, at least not anymore anyways," Ashley responded getting upset. "You don't live here anymore remember you live with Ricky your fiancee, and John your son, over the butcher shop. "Dad, and Nora, live here now." "And sometimes mom and I stay here when we aren't traveling around the world," Ashley retorted, as she placed her suitcase on the kitchen table. "Don't remind me," Amy said getting mad as she bit into her granola bar.

"Amy I don't see what your problem is these days, ever since I got back you have been complaining and getting upset at everyone." Ashley responded back to her. "I can understand if you were mad at me since we haven't been that close lately, but you should really lighten up." Geez! Ashely said running her hand through her hair and fastening the lock on her suitcase. "Why are you so irritated then Ashley, I mean if anyone should be in a good mood its you." Amy said back with anger.

"You're the one who got to go all across the country seeing America on a road trip with your boyfriend." "And then you got to shack up with him in Miami for months, and now you haven't even been back three weeks and you're getting ready to go to Europe with mom." Amy said angrily as her sister removed her suit case from the table and sat down in a chair.

"Yeah, Amy I am going on a trip to Europe with mom, and yes I did get to go on a road trip with my boyfriend." "But, no I didn't shack up with him, we both had our own rooms, shacking up is what you did with Ricky while I was away until, he finally proposed to you," she said in a very sour tone. "Unlike you Amy I'm still a virgin, I don't need to have sex with a guy to keep him, or at least guys not like Ricky. "Is that what this about Ashley?" "Are you jealous of me and Ricky, because he and I are engaged and you still have this stupid crush on him.

"No, Amy I don't. But thank you for reminding me of the fool I made of myself when I developed feelings for him, after he spent months flirting with me, while you were the mother of his child, and living in the same house." "I've realized that I can do better than Ricky, and I did do better than Ricky when I was with Grant, but that was my bad." Ashley said coldly. "What I think is that you are jealous of me for what I can do, and everyone else can do, but you can't." Ashley replied with a sarcastic tone and expression. "And what's that, Ashley" Amy said with a sneered look. "Whatever we want, and with whoever we want, because, none of us are trapped like you and Ricky are," Ashley retorted in her own signature style.

"I don't want to travel all over the world hooking up with random people Ashley, I've already learned my lesson from doing that the first time, Amy replied. "Really, if you have then why are you marrying the guy you shacked up with getting ready to spend the rest of your life with him, and your son." Ashley asked. "I'm marrying Ricky because I love him, and want to spend the rest of my life with him, thats why Ashley" "And you're just being bitter because you still have feelings for him and you're jealous of how happy we are." Amy replied back.

"Amy if you and Ricky are so happy, in love, and ready to spend the rest of your lives together how come you aren't married to him already." "I mean have you even started to prepare for a wedding." "Its not like you need mom and dad's permission. You're almost eighteen and Ben wasn't even eighteen when he married Adrian." "You could just have yourself emancipated like he did, its not like mom and dad can control you, if they really ever controlled you."

"Why aren't you working to save up for the wedding, instead of in summer shool, or even still in school?" "I'm only sixteen and I'm getting ready to go to college, and I don't even have a kid or a fiancee to take care of Amy." "So what is the problem, huh?" "I think you aren't happy because if you were then you would have already married Ricky. " I think you are finally starting to realize this is it, and you're scared." Ashley said looking at her sister with a sternful expression.

"Why would I be scared to marry Ricky, Ashley he's the father of my son and he loves me!" Amy said angrily staring at her sister. "Maybe, but do you love him is the question I'm wondering Amy," Ashley said in response. "I mean if you ask me you are more like dad than I am, he loved, and married mom and for the same reason, Nora and Bob, and most recently Ben and Adrian, got married, for their kids. I think you are marrying Ricky, because of John, and you think you love him, or that you're suppose to love him because he's John's father."

"But, lets face it Amy, you, me, Robbie, and even Ricky, are proof children can't keep a marriage together." "Heck in Ben and Adrian's case children are what tore them apart, or lack there of." "And after seeing what,our parents, and what Ben and Adrian are going through, or still going through. I thought both you and Ricky would have both learned that by now," Ashley said as she picked up her suit case and carried it to the car. "Amy watched her sister leave, and sat down and thought about what her sister had said.

**BOYKEYICH IND. 4:30 PM (Mailroom)  
**As Ben was heading to the door to punch out his time card he spied Dylan coming in from the sorting department, as he saw her he decided to follow her and see if they could get a quick make out session in the mailroom like last time. As he slowly snuck behind her he was shocked to see, an arm grab her from the supply closet and pull her in. As he was alarmed he went towards the room and instead of hearing sounds of a struggle he heard Dylan laughing and giggling as well as the sound of a familiar voice.

Stan, we can't not here what if someone see's us, Dylan said as she played with his collar. Dylan come on, no one saw and I've been missing you terribly. What if Ben comes by looking for me, you know we usually have our make out at this time, then pop a breath mint and go meet him. Ben is so naive, I mean I like the kid and all but seriously. He has sex with the slut at his highschool, and she ends up pregnant. Instead of thinking about if the baby is his or not, he claims it and marries her. If he didn't learn from his last mistake with that Amy chick, or his current wife he is clueless." Stan replied as he began to kiss and fondle Dylan.

"Stan, I like Ben, he's sweet and a really nice guy" Dylan responded as she began to work her hands around the fly on his pants. "I like him too, but right now I like you so much more, Stan said as Dylan got on her knees and undid his pants. "Ben didn't know what to do at that moment. "Why am I so stupid he said to himself as he opened the door on both of them." "Ben this isn't what it looks like Dylan replied, as she looked at him." "Really then what is it did you trip and accidentally pull his pants down and his dick landed in your mouth or something." Ben said coldly. "You know what I quit, and Stan don't worry I wont tell you can keep your job and your slut." Ben said as he left the room and the building.

Ben then went to his car got in started the engine and began to drive toward home. "WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT!" he yelled to himself as he went down the highway. "Not once, not twice, but three times Ben" "GOD, why do you continue to put me through this did I do something to piss you off or something." he said getting angrier. As Ben drove toward an intersection the light was green and he began to increase speed to try and beat the red light as he continued to increase speed, he felt immense pain and pounding from his headache.

In the past his headaches had hurt but this pain was too hard to even put into words. As he tried to focus on the road the pain became blinding and he saw the light turn yellow then red, then he saw a flash of white light as he went unconscous from the pain. That was all he saw before the semi truck on the passenger side plowed into his Mercedes after sounding its horn.


	16. BECAUSE OF YOU

I** own nothing the story is from my imagination but, the characters, concept, and plot are owned by Brenda Hampton, & producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL.**

**"BECAUSE OF YOU"**

**INTERSECTION 5'TH & MAINE ST.**  
Ben, awoke from the crash with blood coming from the top of his forehead from where he hit the steering wheel when he blacked out. The driver of the semi had hit his car from the side sending the car careening into the other side of the intersection. Fortunately there were no other cars at the intersection, and Ben's car only hit the curb. The driver of the semi, quickly got out of his vehicle and rushed to check on the young man whom he had hit. "Dear God, I am so sorry you came out of nowhere and I didn't see you!" the driver said as he came to the left door of Ben's car. Ben sat up and turned looking at the driver, but could not understand a word he was saying since he could only hear a ringing in his head, and although the intense pain from his first headache had subsided the painful headache he received from his injury was not pleasant either.

"Tell me are you okay?" the driver asked as Ben let down his window. "Yes, I'm fine I just tried to beat the light, and I guess I wasn't fast enough." Ben said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and touched the small gash on his forehead above his left eye. "Are you sure?" the driver asked again worrying about Ben who seemed still woozy from the accident. "Yes, let me get my insurance information, and you should call the police," Ben said as he reached into his glove box. "I already called 911 don't worry everything will be okay, but you shouldn't try to move you might have a neck injury or something," the driver said. It was at that time Ben heard sirens and could see the lights of an ambulance and police car pull up. He also saw several pedestrians walk by to gaze at the accident and wonder what was happening. Also he could see several people taking videos' and snapping cell phone shots. He also saw a news van pull up with a crew inside getting ready to report on the accident.

"Weird," he thought to himself. "I believed that I was done with the drama which had been brought into my life when I met Dylan, and it seems that now the soap opera of my life just brought on a bigger audience. He laughed to himself, bringing a smile to his lips. Funny how when you try to avoid all the attention, it just gets bigger. "It was then that a fireman came to his door and began to take his vital signs. A policeman also came by asking if he and the driver questions about what happened. Once all was taken into account, Ben was allowed to get out of his car and produce his license, registration, and insurance. He recanted what had happened save for the part where he blacked out. The police men also cornered off the accident as several reporters came with cameras asking whether or not Ben had been under the influence when the accident occurred. When he heard that question it reminded him that some months ago he had been broadcast online as a drunk shortly after his incident with Adrian about the nursery.

**CONDO OF ADRIAN LEE (BOYKEWICH)**  
"Adrian, what's wrong with you?" Grace asked her friend as she seemed angry as she sat at the counter fuming. "Nothing Grace I'm fine. I'm just thinking about stuff." Adrian said as she looked through her mail and saw an envelope. "Really about what?" Grace said as she noticed Adrian's expression change as she opened the envelope. Inside she found what she had been both dreading, and anticipating all at the same time, her divorce paper's. "So its' finally official Ben and I are no more," she said to herself. At that moment her doorbell rang and in front of her stood her new boyfriend Omar with a broad smile on his face. "Hey I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by to see if you wanted to get some coffee or something?" "No, but I am glad glad you are here.'" she said hugging him and kissing him passionately. "Well i should get going have to see my mom, and new brother" Grace said as she left not wanting to interrupt Adrian and Omar's kiss. Adrian clung to Omar's neck, and slowly pulled him into the apartment let the letters she was holding drop to the ground, and pulled him into the bedroom.

**BOYKEWICH IND (LEO'S OFFICE)**  
Leo, I think you need to take this call, Nora said as she put the phone down pressed his buzzer and transferred the call. "Car accident, what is going on with that kid," Nora thought to herself as she heard the policeman on the other end say "_Yes, I am Calling for a Leo Boykewich, to let him know that his son Benjamin Boykewich is being taken to the hospital for test, and injuries. He is alright but he was involved in an accident with a semi truck. Apparently he was speeding, trying to catch the light and he didn't make it." _"Speeding, Nora thought to herself. " I never would have figured Ben to break the law, but then again I never would have expected him to get a girl pregnant, get married at seventeen, and then divorced." I also never would have expected my son to ask the mother of his child to marry him on stage at his high school graduation, in front of the entire graduating class, so what would I know about anything,"she said to herself in a humorous tone.

"Nora, hold all my calls and cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day, Leo said as he rushed from his office toward the elevator. "Boss, is there a problem, because I'm sure Ben didn't meant to wreck his car, Nora said trying to calm her boss whose face was turning red from anger. "Nora, this is not your concern. "Ben is my son and I will see to this, as I see fit." Leo said as he pressed the button on the elevator and headed down trying to figure why his son for some reason was acting so much out of character. Leo then remembered that ever since his granddaughter's death Ben had been this way. At first he was shy and distant, still trying to cope with the loss of his child, and Leo understood that. When they all went to therapy everyone tried to learn to accept the loss as an act of God." But Leo just could not grasp why God would do such a horrible thing to his son and daughter in law. He knew that Mercy's conception was not something to be proud of, but still Ben and Adrian tried to do the right thing almost everyday afterward.

When Ben told him that Adrian might be pregnant he was in total shock from the news, and did not know how to handle such a delicate situation. But, he was proud of how Ben instead of hiding it from him, or just sat back and wait for Adrian to get an abortion he actually manned up. He was not as supportive at first as he was with Amy, but he was there for her from the moment she told him. But, he had to admit he was a little ashamed of how Ben was trying to keep the pregnancy a secret from Amy while letting Adrian bare the burden on her own. However, he was still there for Adrian even if he had to do it in secret.

Leo could never understand Ben and Adrian's friendship, when they first decided to be friends. Adrian was Ricky's lover or girlfriend, while Ben was Amy's boyfriend during the pregnancy, and for some reason both decided best to be there to support the other during the crisis. At first he thought they were just doing this as some way to keep both Amy and Ricky apart, but then when he sent Ben to Bolonia he was surprised that when he got Ben's cell phone bill he found that he called Adrian more than he called him, Henry, and Alice, or even Amy. He even told Adrian about his relationship with Maria before he even told him. Then there was the moment he finally met Maria. He was shocked that although Maria possessed many of the attributes of an rich Italian girl she also bore a striking resemblence in both style and personality to Adrian.

He realized then that there was much more to Ben, and Adrian's friendship that even Ben didn't understand. But, he would sometimes ponder to himself if it was just his imagination. Then when Ben told him that he slept with Adrian he and Betty actually had a conversation about the incident that shed some light on the situation.

**January 18 2010 (BOYKEWICH ESTATES)**  
_"I just don't understand Betty, if he was so in love with Amy, and he wanted to get back with her. Why, why would he lose his virginity to of all people Ricky's girlfriend in the backseat of his car?" Leo asked angry at the situation. "Leo, if you don't understand then I think you might be more oblvious to things, than I am," Betty replied. "Ben, might not have intended to lose his virginity to Adrian the way he did, but there is no doubt that he definitely wanted to have sex with her." "But, I dont' get it Betty he said that he loves Amy, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, if that were true how could her kissing Ricky make him do something so selfish like this." "I mean Adrian, I can understand, sleeping with people is how she deals with pain, I don't approve of it, or that she used Benjamin like that, they were suppose to be friends, and this is low for both of them, under any circumstances." All because of a stupid kiss." Leo said still frustated and disappointed in Ben's actions._

_"Leo, that kiss was just an excuse that both Adrian, and Ben used to be together without admitting to themselves that they might have feelings for one another, Betty said with a slight smile." "Ben and Adrian have feelings for each other, Betty that's ridiculous. Both of them are head over heels in love and obsessed with Ricky and Amy." Leo said chuckeling from Betty's last remark. "Leo, if that were true then why did they sleep together if all Amy and Ricky did was kiss." "Adrian might be a girl that uses sex to deal with her emotions, but she wouldn't do that with someone who she cares about." "It would be too risky." "Adrian likes Ben as more than a friend, but she doesn't want to admit to it." "She wanted to know what it feels like be with him, and she used the kiss to hide behind her real intentions._

_"Then explain Ben, Betty? Why would he sleep with Adrian if he loves Amy so much? "Leo, I think that Ben does love Amy, but at the same time he cares deeply for Adrian. When Amy told him that she kissed Ricky, he was hurt and in pain. Also at the same time he realized that he was free." Betty said looking at him deeply. "Free of what, I thought he was free when he and Amy broke up." Leo said still confused. "Leo, he and Amy might be broken up, but he is anything but free. Ben, still feels bonded to Amy because she was his first love, and when Amy told him that she kissed Ricky he realized that she didn't feel for him what he felt for her. That night Ben finally felt that he was allowed to accept what he felt for Adrian without guilt." Betty said with a smile. "But, now he knows that he did that for the wrong reason, and he doesn't know how to handle it." Maybe, but that still doesn't excuse either of their actions." Leo said._

**PRESENT DAY BOYKEWICH IND.**  
At first Leo took what Betty said and unconsciously, and let that night they spent together be just another one of Ben's mistakes. If he did have real feelings for Adrian, then he wouldn't have gotten back together with Amy so easilyhe thought to himself. But, then came the night when Adrian showed up at the house after her fight with Reuben looking so upset, and sad. Ben, immediately asked her to him and she fell into his arms almost as if they were used to comforting each other like that. When he went up to check on them they were both lying in Ben's bed with their clothes on holding one another's hand. They seemed so at peace with the other, even despite the situation I just couldn't deny that for some reason there was a connection between them, and it wasn't the pregnancy.

**LEO POINT OF VIEW**  
I just could not understand how they could be so different from one another, and at the same time understand each other so perfectly. It was one of the reason's why I insisted that Ben marry Adrian when she decided to keep the baby. I knew that Amy would break up with him when she discovered the pregnancy. Amy may have strong feelings for Ben, but I always doubted her love for him. She was such a nice girl but there was something about her that I just didn't trust, especially after Ben told me that it was her idea to get married to keep Ricky from the baby. I thougth that it was wrong of her to want to enter into a marriage with the sole purpose to keep the father from his child. It was that one action which made me start to wonder about the type of person Amy was. Sure she seemed like a nice girl, but unlike George mentioned about how Amy was a good girl he forgets one rule. Good girls' don't get pregnant at fourteen, and have baby's at fifteen. They also dont have sex with older boys at a summer camp, who they have only known for less than a day.

But, even though after meeting Ricky and I discovered he was a good kid who just had a bad past, I could not get over the fact that Amy was so easily manipulated by him. So I decided to intervene in the situation between all of them so I could see for myself if Amy loved Ben for who he was, or was she with him because of the situation, and what he could offer her. It's why I gave Ricky a job at the butcher shop, and the apartment. I knew a one bedroom apartment was not as big as a mansion, but it was a start. I was raised there, and I thought I would give it to Ben one day if he chose to go to the local college, but for the situation at hand I thought it better for Ricky. When I gave Ricky the ability to be the man capable of supporting her, and forced Ben to be his friend as a means of Ben's good nature and attitude to rub off on him, Amy soon took to him.

I hated that, having to decieve not only my son, but to use Ricky like that. But worst of all to learn that Amy didn't feel as deep for Ben as he did for her. In order to help the situation I thought it best to send Ben away, in order to both allow Amy and Ricky time to get closer, and let Ben discover there were other fish in the sea. Which actually worked out for him, Amy and he may have stayed together, but it was only for a while. When they finally broke up, I have to admit I was sad that they broke up but I was relieved at the same time. I thought now Ben can finally find a girl that is not complicated and would like him for the great young man that he is. But, then he told me that he just couldn't stop being in love with Amy, I should have known that it would not be that easy.

But, when Adrian revealed that she was pregnant that ended the situation. When I saw the connection that Ben and Adrian had during the pregnancy Rueben and I both agreed, and believed that perhaps that thier union was fated. Ben and Adrian had been friends, and out of all the boys Adian had been with it was my son who got her pregnant after they used not only protection, but birth control as well. When we saw this we thought marriage was best, for the baby and for them. But, I didn't think we should rush them. When they started dating despite all that was happening, my son was actually happy. He was happy to be with Adrian, and even to becoming a father. With Amy there were so many complications, from how she really felt about him, to Ricky being the baby's father. Then there was how her son would accept him, and how he and Ricky would deal with the situation.

But, Adrian and Mercy were different she was pregnant with his baby' not Ricky's, and even though they were together under questionable circumstances, they were happy together. I didn't know Adrian that well, but I have to admit she had such a great influence on Ben. Adrian seemed happy to be around Ben, and during the time they were together I learned so much about her. She was an excellent cook specifically of Mexican dishes, and sandwiches. Which worked out perfectly since I owned a chain of deli shops. Adrian from what I could tell loved spending the night with Ben, and Ben liked it as well. Most parents would be concerned with their son sleeping with a girl in his bed, but she was already pregnant with his child so there was little I had to worry about.

But, they never fooled around like that. Sure I caught them making out on more than one occasion, but they were teenagers. Not only that they were having a baby together and it made the situaton easier for them to tolerate. But, from what Rueben and Cindy told me Adrian just wanted to be held by someone, which is why she liked being with Ben. Unlike others Ben was there for her not himself, like other boys. He never asked Adrian for anything, and allowed her to control the situation. He let her know he was going to be there for whatever she needed.

But then came the day of the wedding I knew, that Ben was far from ready to being a husband and father he was only seventeen, and still in highschool I knew he enjoyed the benefits of being married to Adrian, she was a very beautiful woman with lots of experience in that area. However, I don't think that he truly understood the emotional fortitude, and responsibility that went along with being married. But, when Mercy died I saw that he and Adrian both became two broken people and no matter how hard any of us tried, we could never put them back together the way they were. I was so proud of Ben for being there for Adrian for so many months after Mercy's death. But, I never realized how much of a toll her death had taken on him. Its why I was ashamed of his actions of wanting to be divorced, but I was no help since I wanted a divorce from Betty as well. So when Ben told me that Adrian had kicked him out of the condo and she wanted a divorce as well, I allowed it. I figured if both now wanted a divorce why keep them together.

Now, I am sitting here in the back of my limo being driven to the hospital because my son wrecked his car. I am dealing with him bringing drugs into my home because his best friend slept with his wife. I am dealing with the woman I love telling me, in my attempt to help my son I may have inadvertently hurt him even more. I am dealing with so many things and I can't get a grasp on what I am going to do, in order to fix my family. "God, Sarah why aren't you here to help me with this." "You would know what to do, and I need you to tell me what it is. Because I honestly don't have a clue as to how to help our son and save him from himself." "Mercy my precious little grand daughter why did you have to die, and leave your parents so broken like this." All of their pain and sadness are because of you."

_**THE NEXT PART OF THIS CHAPTER YOU MUST USE YOUR** **IMAGINATION & BEST TO READ WHILE LISTENING TO "BECAUSE OF YOU" BY KELLY CLARKSON.  
**_

**SCENE:_( Adrian lying next to Omar)_**  
I will not make  
The same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break  
The way you did, you fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far

**SCENE:_ (Ben sitting on an exam table, being examined by a doctor shining a light in his eyes, as he has bandaged cut over his left eye.)_**  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

**SCENE: _(Adrian kissing Omar goodbye as she closes the door, she bends down to pick up the divorce papers, wearing a purple gown.)_**  
I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh  
Every day of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with

**SCENE: _(Leo gets off hospital elevator, is attacked by flashing camera lights and reporters. Ben watches from his exam room door way)_**  
Because of you  
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side  
So I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust  
Not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

**SCENE: _(Adrian walks into her bedroom with the divorce papers and looks at her wedding photo to Ben, and picks it up and rubs it lovingly)_**  
I watched you die  
I heard you cry  
Every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry  
In the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing

**_SCENE: (Ben takes out his wedding ring from the chain around his neck, and looks at it remembering his wedding with Adrian)_**  
Because of you  
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side  
So I don't get hurt

**SCENE: _(Adrian picks up the sonogram photo of Mercy and holds it and begins to cry before throwing down both her wedding photo and sonogram)_**  
Because of you  
I tried my hardest just to forget everything

_S**CENE: (Ben walks out of the room from the entire scene and goes to the stairs, rubs his forehead from his headache before taking out the sonogram photo from his wallet and balls it up and throws it on the floor.)**_  
_Because of you_  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid

**SPLIT SCENE _(Adrian & Ben both pick up their sonogram photos and begin to cry reminiscing of their time together and the loss of their child.)_**  
Because of you  
Because of you


	17. WITH YOU

I** own nothing the story is from my imagination but, the characters, concept, and plot are owned by Brenda Hampton, & producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL.**

**"WITH YOU"**

**JULY 19, 2011**

**OAK WOOD CEMETERY**

**1:43 PM**

Ricky walked through the gates of the cemetery and wiped the sweat from his brow. It was hot today, but it was still a very beautiful day, and despite where he was the scene that lay before him still looked beautiful. There were rows and rows of graves, tombstones, and grave markers, as far as he could see. This place gave Ricky the creeps no matter how beautiful it was to look at, with all of its rows of flowers and neatly arranged graves, bushes, and tombs. The notion of death was not something Ricky liked to think about the finality of life. The idea that one day his life, Amy's life, and John's life would end scared him more than he would care to think about and he chose not to concentrate on the subject.

He sometimes also hated to think that what if death was not the end and there would be an after life where people would be judged for their mistakes, and he often wondered what would become of him if there were. His father's religion didn't believe in a hell that is what the Jewish religion taught. Ricky guessed that is why Bob despite of everything else loved being Jewish, because he thought he would not have to pay for his sins. It is one of the reasons why Ricky knew there had to be a hell, even if it was just a hell specifically designed for Bob, a place that made him pay for what he did to him and his mom.

Under his arm were three bouquets of flowers one bouquet of white roses, one of red roses, and one bouquet of pink roses. He spent a pretty penny on the flowers but he thought it best to worry about the money later. It was the thought that mattered,. he said o himself. Ricky hated to think about how long it had been since he had been in this place and he really hated to think about the reason why he was there in the first place, he came there to lay Marshall Bowman to rest and he was honored by his church with a plaque and an angel statue in the center. When he first saw it, he thought the statue was beautiful, but he also thought it would further remind everyone that Marshall Bowman was no longer here. Ricky hated to think about the fact that Marshall Bowman was gone, but he had no choice in the matter he was killed in a plane crash and left a hole that filled his entire family, most of all it left a hole in the one person whom he had already hurt Grace Bowman. The loss of her father hurt Grace more than anyone in her entire family and now after discovering her father had been unfaithful to her mother after eighteen years of marriage was worse.

He often wondered was it his actions through his relationship with Grace that started her interest in sex or was it her need to be close to Jack. He had to admit he may have been partly responsible for Grace's mental and religious breakdown. He had to admit dating her just to trick her into sleeping with her was wrong, as was his little game with Adrian, a game she won by bedding Jack which was not really a game since Jack as he had come to realize didn't have much going on to keep him faithful, or a devout Christian.

It was Bob, Nora, and his child hood that made him stop believing in God because he didn't believe any God no matter how bad should let that happen to him. He never did anything wrong as a child and did his best to be a good boy. But, his mother was drug addict that let her drunk drug addict husband beat and rape her and her son. How could a God allow someone like his father to exist. It was because of them that Ricky lost faith in people and also how he lost faith in himself, but found it again when he was adopted by Margaret and Shakur.

But it was through his son John that he found faith in God again. When he heard his little boy cry and held him in his arms for the first time it made him understand that there was a God, because it was in those moments he felt true divinity. He looked at his son and felt something that he never thought he was capable of, a feeling he ever felt he deserved, that feeling was love. He swore on that day to try and become a better person, better than his mother or his father had ever been.

He had become a better man in the past year, but he also knew he had done a lot of damage, to a lot of people before his change. He sometimes wondered if he would be judged for all the women he had been with and hurt in his nineteen years. Many just wanted to use him for sex just he had wanted to use them, but it was the ones who wanted to be more to him like Adrian, Grace, and Ashley that he didn't want to think about the consequences. He didn't sleep with Grace or Ashley, but what he did to them was still wrong of that he knew.

But, what he had done to Adrian was far worse he thought to himself, if he went to hell for any woman he knew it would be her. She was the woman that did more for him than any other woman in his life, even Amy. Unlike Amy Adrian asked nothing of him, she accepted him for he was and allowed him to choose to be with her on his own terms. Amy on the other hand was much more demanding of him, and he needed that. He needed someone to put their foot down with him and not be as forgiving of him, and that was Amy. But, still it was Adrian that helped him overcome the demons of his past and realize he was not the man his father was. That he could choose to be a better person. But, when it came time for him to return the favor he hated that he just abandoned her.

He told his therapist he did that because he was afraid that Adrian would make him give into temptation and sleep with her, but he knew that was just an excuse. The truth was he didn't know how he could bare to see her like that, broken with no way of being put back together. He hated that he was so weak in spirit he couldn't help the one woman he truly owed in his life. He felt even worse when he had to admit to himself that Ben was stronger than he was. Ben had to deal with Adrian like that every day since their child died, and hide his own pain, something didn't know if he could do should their roles have eve been reversed. Its why he held John close to him every day and asked Amy to move in with him. Through Ben's loss he had come to appreciate family so much more.

But, he knew that his actions at the party and since then were still wrong. He knew why Adrian wanted him back because after Ben, finally gave into his pain when Adrian got rid of the nursery, she felt wronged by he one man that promised to never do that. Ricky could not blame Ben for losing his temper like that, under the circumstances he felt partially responsible because he was the one who told Ben what she was doing. Also he knew that her idea to get rid of the nursery without consulting him was wrong. But, when he discovered that she wanted to get pregnant again, he knew that was an even worse idea.

When Amy told him of Adrians' plan he decided now was he best time to break his rule of not getting involved, he knew that it would make him a hypocrite, but having a child born to save a marriage which he thought was wrong in the first place would be worse. It was later that he thought his interference in the matter probably did more harm than good because Ben, didn't want to have kids, but he actually seemed more positive when he found out about Adrian's plot. Ricky guessed Ben finally realized that he and Adrian were both still very young and could start a family when they were truly ready. But, in the aftermath it only made Adrian want to end their marriage and come after him.

She hounded him for two weeks through the halls of Grant High looking to get back together with him and it was disgraceful. He felt sorry for Ben in a way. Ben was still her husband and they had only been married for a few months, and his wife was back to her old ways of going after him. He never even wanted to think about how embarrassed Ben must feel, especially since he still seemed to love Adrian. He was even embarrassed for Adrian, her actions seemed to make it look like she cared nothing for Ben, their child, or even her own dignity.

After the graduation he and Amy decided that in order to move on with their lives, they had to get rid Adrian. So they decided if they gave Adrian what she wanted, she could move on and perhaps she and Ben might actually have a chance to start again. IF ONLY LIFE WAS THAT SIMPLE" He kissed Adrian and he immediately felt bad since he did not know she was already dating again. He saw her date was nowhere near understanding of the kiss or Adrian's situation. Ben however was and he was hopeful as he watched them dance that things between them would get back to normal. But, when he learned what happened between Adrian and Henry he felt even worse, he should have known Adrian uses sex to get over her pain and Ben decided not to give in but Henry did. He knew en he may have resolved his and Amy''s situation with Adrian, but he may have made matters worse for Ben.

So he decided to stay out from that point on, but the damage was already done, and Ben had set in his mind that none of them should be friends. Deep down Rick wondered if they had ever really been friends, or if he had ever really been their friend. So far every time when he had a friend and they really needed him, he not knowing what to do would just ignore them. He hated that after all he had done to change he was still that weak. When ever things with people in his life got complicated he would just turn them away. He did it with Am when she was pregnant, Ashley last summer, and he did it with Adrian, and Ben. Now he had no friends, Ben had decided to end their friendship completely he wondered if they were ever friends at all.

The only reason he and Ben even became friends was because of Leo trying to make peace between them, and he had to admit Ben was nice to talk to he realized why Adrian and he became friends. Ben had a way of getting people to trust him, he saw how much he and Leo were alike. But, still Ben was Amy's boyfriend, and he was the father of her baby. He was surprised that even after Ben and Amy broke up Ben was still willing to be friends with him. He also kind of hated that he was starting to admire Ben. Unlike he thought Ben was fully aware of the rumors and names he was being called for dating Amy and she was pregnant with his child. He thought it weird he was the one that got her pregnant and abandoned her, but Ben was the one who was being ridiculed.

He guessed it was just teenagers being teenagers, and teenagers have a large tendency to be cruel to the wrong people for the wrong reason. Some thought Ben was only with Amy because it was obvious she put out, others thought it was because he had fetish for preggo's, but he soon realized it was because he actually cared about Amy just that much. He hated that about Ben, here he was sleeping around with Adrian and so many other girls, but it was Ben who could have any girl in the school, but instead he chose to stay by Amy's side. Ben truly made Ricky feel ashamed of himself, sometimes he wondered if John would have been better off with Ben being his father. Ben was rich, he came from a very loving and honorable family, and he was every bit the man his father was, probably even more.

But, now Ben was someone different someone that Ricky couldn't recognize anymore. He was darker, unforgiving, and even reckless. When his mom told him Ben had been in a car accident, and he was in school for having marijuana he was in shock. Ben Boykewich the Boy Wonder went Bad, this was unbelievable. Ricky was in disbelief at all he discovered about Ben. But, he remembered how once upon a time he was almost as similar as Ben. He was selfish, cruel, and mean. But, it was is son and the people that he loved, and loved him that helped him o change. Unfortunately he realized that the same could be said for Ben as well. Losing his daughter the way he did changed Ben. He truly felt sorry for his former friend as he found the graves he was looking for.

SARAH BOYKEWICH BELOVED WIFE & MOTHER, MERCY LEE BOYKEWICH BELOVED DAUGHTER OF BEN & ADRIAN BOYKEWICH "THOUGH YOU WERE HERE FOR A MOMENT YOU MADE US LOVE YOU FOREVER SLEEP WELL OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE PRINCESS'. That was the epitaph Ben chose, as Ricky knelt down to both graves and placed his flowers. He looked at both and began to feel sad. Sad that he was denied the pleasure of meeting these two wonderful people that were buried before him. He felt sad how losing them must have made their families. How losing his mom made a hole in Ben's heart, and losing his child made that hole even bigger. Amy was right Ben couldn't help Adrian because he was falling in on himself. He also remembered Adrian who also lost her friend Antonio, and how it made her use sex to overcome her loneliness. He then realized perhaps Adrian and Ben were better suited for one another than he thought.

He sometimes thought they were not right for each other because they were so different, but he couldn't deny that there was something between Ben and Adrian that made him jealous of their relationship. Some would say they shouldn't be together because of a few minor details, but the same could be said of he and Amy so he couldn't judge them. He hated how when he was with Adrian that he made her so upset and mad with him at times, but she never had that with Ben, she always seemed to have a type of respect for him. He was used to pushing Adrian to the edge, but Ben. Ben had a way of bringing her back that Ricky could never stand. When she was pregnant, he could not deny that even though she was eighteen, pregnant and still in school she was happy. She had a smile on her face almost every day, unlike Amy who was mostly upset about her situation. But not Adrian, her plans, and future had been seriously altered but she was okay with it.

Amy was always on edge when she was pregnant, and only on certain occasions would you actually see her smile. But, when she smiled it was usually because of Ben, he had this effect on everyone that seemed to give them a boost of confidence, he hated to admit it but it even affected him. So being pregnant at eighteen, and still in high school, altering her plans, didn't affect Adrian much he guessed because of who's baby she was carrying, and who was by her side everyday. Ben, he was the one who put that smile on her face everyday. It sometimes made him angry that out of all he and Adrian meant to each other he could never make her feel as happy as Ben did. He sometimes wondered would she have been that happy if she had been pregnant with his child. But, he would forget those thoughts as well because if the outcome had been the same he dreaded to think of how he would react.

As he placed his flowers on both graves he said a silent prayer, and began talking to the graves. "Hello Mrs. Boykewich, Mercy, you probably don' know me but, I am or was a friend of Ben." "I wish I could say I was still his friend, but some bad things have happened between all of us and I was wondering if I could ask for your help." "I know that he still loves you, and he misses you both terribly." "But right now he needs you, because he is lost and I don't think any of us know how to help him find his way back" I probably have no right to ask this of either of you, but could you please help him, Ricky said as a tear fell from his eye. "I was a very different person not too long ago and your son helped me find a way to be a better person, and I cant' seem to find a way to return the favor." "So I'm here asking for a favor from both of you to please do what I, and no one else can do." "Help Ben and Adrian find themselves again"

As Ricky was down he heard a loud voice that made him shudder at the sound of anger, and rage that was within it. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE RICKY!," Ben said as he saw the young man kneeling beside his mom and daughters graves.

"Ben, I just came to pay my respects." Ricky said as he got up.

"Leave, you don't know them, you have no right to be here." Ben said becoming angry.

"Ben." Ricky said shocked at Ben's reaction to his presence.

"You can't have them, you took Amy, and John from me." "You took Adrian, my dad, even my friends, and the company from me." "But, you cant' have them they are mine.

"So get your flowers off their leave." he said snatching the flowers from the graves and shoving them toward Ricky.

Ricky was left in shock at Ben's actions, he had only come here to pay his respects and hopefully say a prayer for Ben, he never meant any harm in being here. "Ben I didn't meant to offend you." Ricky said trying to calm the situation.

"Ricky leave, this is not yours to take." "So just turn around or I swear I will kill you." Ben said angrily looking at Ricky with such eyes they made Ricky actually tremble.

Ricky looked at Ben and said okay Ben I'll go. Ricky took his flowers planted one on Marshall Bowman's grave and left. The whole time he was walking away he could feel Ben's cold eyes watching him as he left. He hadn't felt so scared since he was a child. As he got into his car he realized that it was Ben, a person he once regarded as his best friend who had just threatened him and made him feel this bad. He then realized why he was so scared because the person who made him that scared before was Bob. He then began to cry not for Ben, but himself because he wondered did he really do Ben such damage to his life that he hated him as much as he hated his own father.

woke up in a dream today  
To the cold and the static  
And I put my cold feet on the floor  
Forgot all about yesterday  
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore  
A little taste of hipocrisy  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
Slow to react  
Even though you're so close to me  
You're still so distant  
And I can't bring you back

It's true  
The way I feel  
Was promised by your face  
The sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories  
Even if you're not with me

I'm with you  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes  
With you  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes

I hit you and you hit me back  
We fall to the floor  
The rest of the day stands still  
Fine line between this and that  
But when things go wrong  
I pretend that the past isn't real  
I'm trapped in this memory  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
Slow to react  
Even though you're so close to me  
You're still so distant  
And I can't bring you back

It's true  
The way I feel  
Was promised by your face  
The sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories  
Even if you're not with me

I'm with you  
(From: . )  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes  
With you  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes

No, I won't let you control my fate  
While I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience  
No, I won't just sit here and wait  
While you weighing options  
You're making a fool of me  
No, you didn't dare try to say that you don't care  
And solemnly swear not to follow me there  
No, it ain't like me to beg on my knees  
Oh, please, oh, baby, please  
That's not how I'm doing things  
No, I'm not upset  
No, I'm not angry  
I know love is love,  
Love and sometimes it pains me  
With or without you  
I'll always be with you  
You'll never forget me  
I'm keeping you with me  
No, I won't let you take me to the end of my rope  
While you burn it and torture my soul  
No, I'm not your puppet  
And, no, no, no, I won't let you go

No, no matter how far we've come  
I can't wait to see tomorrow  
No matter how far we've come, I  
I can't wait to see tomorrow

With you  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes  
With you  
You, now I see  
Keeping everything inside  
With You  
You, now I see  
Even when I close my eyes


	18. HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

**HOW TO SAVE A LIFE**

**_Sorry for the long wait I was involved in a case at work and it pre-occupied me. I will skip a few chapters to keep up and try to finish this story within this week. But to update Leo and Camille were married, Adrian is engaged to Omar, as are Grace/Jack, and Amy/Ricky. Ben has met up with Chloe, but it was determined from x-rays from his accident he has a tumor in his brain that is located near his cerebellum. The tumor is benign, but it must be removed before it continues to cause Ben problems. _**

**_Although Ben is no longer working he is using personal funds he acquired without Leo's knowledge to pay for his doctor visits, as well as his medications without his insurance being involved. However Dr. Leonard who is Ben's neurologist is worried about why Ben's reason for not telling his family about his current illness. Ben is further troubled when he is told the only person who can perform the surgery is none other than Dr. Shaka Shakur who is Ricky's adopted father..._**

Dr. Leonard: Ben do you know Dr. Shakur? (seeing as though Ben, has some recognition of the man in front of him.)

Ben: Yes, I do know Dr. Shakur. I don't know him that well this is our first real introduction. (Ben shakes his hand).

Shakur: Yes it is Ben, and I do think that our introduction to one another is long over due.

Ben: Probably...(_hesitantly_) But, I have to know is Dr. Shakur the only person who is capable of performing this type of surgery? (_looking at Dr. Leonard.)_

Dr. Leonard: Ben, Dr. Shakur is one of the most renound neuro surgeons in the country, and he is one of the leading experts when it comes to this type of surgery. In fact he revolutionized the procedure for what you are dealing with now since the tumor is in such a delicate area.

Ben: You said that he is one of the leading surgeons in this field, but he is not the only surgeon in this area is he? (Ben asked)

Dr. Leonard: Ben, why would you need another surgeon, when we have the best in the world right here. Is it because of his religion or nationality that you have a problem? (_becoming offended at Ben for his question_,)

Shakur: No, it is neither of those things Dennis. Ben doesn't want me to perform the surgery primarily because of my relations. (_Shakur said seeing the look on Ben's face and knowing inadvertently of Ben/Ricky's altercations_.)

Dr. Leonard: Shakur I don't understand.

Shakur: Its a complicated situation Dennis, and if it had been another patient that asked for another surgeon I would have tried to tell Ben, that my skills as a doctor are very certifiable and proven. But, Ben is not questioning my skills as a surgeon or a doctor. He wishes a new doctor for reasons that are his own, and reason's that I perfectly understand.

Dr. Leonard: Shakur, you have me at a slight disadvantage...

Shakur: Ben, has a long history with a member of my family, and unfortunately that history is not good, at least not for him. As a doctor, I would tell him that it is dangerous to let personal feelings interfere with his health and well being, but under circumstances like these I completely understand Ben. I will also give you a list of other doctors who are highly certified, and can help you in a case as delicate as yours.

Ben: Thank you Dr. Shakur, and I am sorry if this offends you, but...

Shakur: It doesn't offend me as a Doctor at all Ben, but it does offend me as a father. But, that like your sitaution is personal.

Dr. Leonard: I really don't understand this at all (_bewildered both at Ben for not wanting Shakur to perform his life saving surgery, and at Shakur for understanding, without even putting up a fight which was not like Shakur who would do anything to save a life specifically for someone so young.)_

You know I hate to be the elephant in the room between the two of you, but Ben your situation is dire. Your tuma could rupture at any moment and cause you serious paralysis. You could have a brain hemorage which might cause memory loss, brain damage, or worse an anurism which could cause death. Shakur I am just as shocked at you since you have seen his test results, and as a leading doctor in this field you of all people know just how serious this situation is. There is no treatment, or medication for this Ben the only option for your case is surgery. Surgery that you must have immediately. Even with the surgery there could be dire complications. You could have temporary to permanent memory loss, or you could suffer brain damage. You could die on the table for all we know and those are risks you face if you had the surgery today. What ever personal problems you and Shaka have should be resolved immediately.

Ben: Dr. Leonard, I understand your concern, and your worry. But, this is my problem, my tumor, and my life, and I will deal with it. If you can't understand as Dr. Shakur can, then I might have to get another doctor. He takes his file and leaves with the list of other doctors Shakur wrote down for him.

Dr. Leonard: Shakur can you please explain to me what the hell is going on?

Shakur: What is going on is Benjamen Boykewich is a young man who has been inadvertenlty given the negative chakra of my son Ricky.

Dr. Leonard: Ricky, yes your adoptive son, you've told me about him. Wasn't he valedictorian, and got engaged.

Dr. Shakur: Yes, and he owes almost everything he has now to Benjamen and his father Leo. Ricky used to be anything like what he is now. But, thanks to the two of them, and his family Ricky has had a complete change. However you can't get an omelet without breaking an egg, the egg that was broken was Benjemen.

Dr. Leonard: How so?

Shakur: Didn't you read his file.

Dr. Leonard: I know that his mother died of cancer, luckily he doesn't suffer from it, and I also know he lost a child in this hospital not too long ago.

Shakur: That is only part of his pain. Let me tell you all of it ( Shakur recounts his knowledge of Ben/Ricky's relationship from the beginning of all he knew to Dr. Leonard. He is very well informed of the entire situation. This knowledge shocks, and gives Dr. Leonard much insight into Ben's personality. Dr. Leonard had been Ben's neurologist for four months and couldn't understand the young man's menatality for secrecy and endurance for the pain his tumor was giving him.)

Dr. Leonard: I once thought that the tumor might be the cause of much of Ben's personality flaws, but I see that his life is the cause of much his distress.

Dr. Shakur: Yes it is, and much of it was the fault of my son and his fiancee. He suffered a lot on their behalf, and now I am suffering for it too it seem's.

Dr. Leonard: Shakur it is not your fault if Ben doesn't wish you to perform jhis surgery. That is personal.

Dr. Shakur: I would agree with you Dennis if it were not understandable, and being Ricky's foster father I have to hold myself responsiible for his actions, and his treatment of others. I knew his life style was wrong, but I made no attempt to change it even when it was too late. Now someone else is paying the price. I also fear that it will affect my life in the future as well as the rest of my family.

Dr. Leonard: Now you are confusing me again, Shakur?

Shakur: My religion teaches that there is a balance and for the negative energy that is created someone must recieve it. Ben recieved my son's negative energy in order for my grandson to be born. In turn his child died. Now his life is being threatened for the continued negative energy being produced. I just fear what will happen when It comes full circle.

Dr. Leonard: Shakur you know I don't put much faith into Hinduism, sometimes life just sucks. For that young man it sucks very bad, but if he has the surgery, and in time I'm sure Ben will get better. He is the son of the wealthiest man in the city.

Dr. Shakur: That is good for you Dennis, but I do believe in Allah, and I fear for the repurcussions not only Ben, but my son will face for his own actions toward Ben, and others.

**LATER AT BOYKEWICH MANOR: Ben is in his room lying on his bed reviewing the names given to him by Dr. Shakur. Chloe comes in, and asks what he is looking to pester him as she likes to do now that she has such a paranoid, yet loving older brother.**

Chloe: So what are you doing.

Ben: Just doing some online research on an unimportant matter (closes his computer and hides his medical file)

Chloe: So no plans tonight again? I would think with you being free of not being a husband you would be living up the bachelor life.

Ben: I was a bachelor and all it did was get me in trouble now, all I want to do is enjoy being single, and lonely.

Chloe: Isn't that boring? (_smiling_)

Ben: With the life I have had already, and all I have cost Dad. Boring is what I really, really, need right now.

Chloe: Well, you did get a new sweet car out of the deal.

Ben: Only because I wrecked my old one.

Chloe: Ben, I literally know 40 year old married men with kids my age who have less guilt than you.

Ben: (_grimaced at being reminded of his sister's past life_) That's because they haven't seen the consequences their actions can have. So what do you want to do?

Chloe: I don't know, lets go out to the Dairy Shack and chill out with other teenagers.

Ben: Okay, your highness. (_he joked_). Let me grab my key's, and...(_gets off of bed and grabs his head and begins to stagger as another headache and dizzy spell hit him.)_

Chloe: BEN! (_grabs Ben as he stumbles, and catches him_)

Ben: I'm okay, I guess I shouldn't have skipped dinner. Maybe we should just have Mike drive us.

Chloe: Good idea. (_Ben goes out of the room, and Chloe lingers looking at the medical folder which came from under Ben's laptop when he stumbled and grab the bed spread. She leafs through it but could not understand what it meant, even when she got to the x-rays of Ben's brain.)_

**SHAKUR HOUSE HOLD 6:00 PM**

Margaret: Shakur, what are you doing you never drink?

Shakur: Until now I have never really had a reason to have one. (Pouring a scotch from the liqour cabinet)

Margaret: What reason do you have to drink to break you vow of sobriety.

Shakur: A patient

Margaret: Shakur, we both agreed that you should never let your work come home with you. We both know that you can't save everyone. Sometimes things are just left up to fate.

Shakur: I know that, but sometimes fate curses us. (_Taking a sip from his glass, and not liking the taste_) Now I remember why I really didn't like to drink.

Margaret: So what is your problem with a patient, did someone die? I thought you didn't have any surgeries scheduled, only consultations.

Shakur: I didn't. It was the consultation that was the problem. The patient didn't want me to save their life.

Margaret. Shakur we all know that some people can be bigotted we have been living with that, our whole lives. I know times, have changed and people are more open minded. But some things still stay the same. (_trying to console him._)

Shakur: No, Margaret they literally didn't want me personally to help them. It had nothing to do with my religion, nationality, or anything of that nature, and it wasn't even me they disliked. I wish it was a prejudist against all that, even a prejudice against me. But it wasn't any of that.

Margaret: Now you have me confused, sweetie. If they didn't hate your religion, your nationality, but you was it one of your ex-girlfriends, or one of my sister's who you had to consult?

Shakur: (Smiling) Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I'm afraid it won't work.

Margaret: So, what is the problem if me insulting my sister's didn't help cheer you up.

Shakur: This person has something against one of my children.

Margaret: One of our kids, Shakur you have to be more specific we have taken in over 14 adopted children.

Shakur: I can't say, my love. It is against the doctor/patient confidentiality code for me to even discuss this much with you. But, I really wish I could.

Margaret: Shakur if this person doesn't like our children than, that is their problem. Our kids aren't perfect, but they were all good kids, and have done their best to be good people, and that includes the one we have now (_referring to Ethan._)

Shakur: I wish, I could agree with you, but they weren't always good kids, and this patient actually has reason to be angry. (_But I still can't talk about it.)_

Margaret: Okay, but I will be here to listen, if you need it.

Shakur: I will my love. (Margaret leaves his study. He picks up a picture of Ricky, John, and Amy) Ricky I pray for you my son that Ben does survive, but even if he does I feel that one day your past will finally catch up to you, and I can't save you from that. I only wish I had been a better father to teach you to respect others, then all of this would have never happened. But, that is my sin, and I pray Allah will let me suffer for that, and not you or Ben. It is the least I can do for him after all he and his father have done for us, and especially you.

**NEXT DAY AFTER THURSDAY 4:00 PM. HOSPITAL**

Ben: Yes, Dr. Shakur. My doctor said you wished to see me about my case. (Ben opens door to Shakur's office)

Dr. Shakur: Yes, Ben please come in. I would like to talk to you about your condition, and other matters if it is alright?

Ben: Dr. Shakur, I'm sorry if my not wanting you to perform my surgery seems immature, careless, and really stupid. I know that it does, but I have my reason's, and I thought that you would understand that.

Dr. Shakur: Ben I do understand very well why it is you don't wish for me to perform your surgery. My son and you have been at odds with one another since before you met. But, this is your life, and I reviewed your file, and your condition. In my medical opinion Dr. Leonard was being generous when he said how if yesterday the surgery might not even save you. Ben, your condition is deteriorating even as we speak now. I know that my son is not your favorite person in the world. But, what happened cannot be helped, and this is your life we are talking about. Although I have nothing against the doctors I recommending to you yesterday, those doctors may not have the time to understand the condition in which you are in. I have been studying your case since Dennis showed it to me some time ago.

Ben: Some time ago, how long have you known about my tumor? (_worried he told someone about his condition_)

Dr. Shakur: I have known about your condition since you have Ben. Dennis consulted me the moment he saw where your tumor was located, which is in a very precarious place. It is so dangerous Ben, I am one of the only doctors in the world who has successfully managed to save patients with little to no side effects from the surgery.

Ben: But others have performed it. Dr. Linitz of Germany perfomed five as of two months ago. Dr. Hans Fredericks has only done four, but he is highly reccommended. There are three other doctors in your field besides them who have performed the surgery from the position from which mine is located, however you three are the only ones whose patients didn't suffer brain damage, or any other side effects. You were so good you were given an award last year for having done your twelth successful surgery. In fact the other doctors all complimented you on your first three surgeries for video taping the events and writing a paper on how you managed to succeed. They use your technique as a guideline by which they performed their own successful surgeries. But then again you were studying the field of neurology since your father's death when you were fourteen so that is no surprise. Not to mention you went to Princeton Medical school and was also mentored by the now surgeon general of the United States, who prides you as their best student. You stayed in India for seven years to perform your residency before coming to the U.S. to practice neurology on mostly terminal cases, where you met your wife. It was a case of a young orphan who had brain truama from a car accident that killed both her parents. She had no other relatives, and your wife became her social worker while she was made a ward to the state. You helped save her life, and during which time married Margaret, and adopted the young girl. You then opened your home to many trouble cases of kids, some with medical illnesses, and emotional and mental problems like Ricky, and Ethan. You even won an humanitarian award four times for your hard work, and dedication.

Dr. Shakur: Ben how did you know all of this. _(shocked that Ben had such knowledge of his work, and his life_)

Ben: I might be a rich kid Dr. Shakur, but I'm not stupid. I did all of this the moment I found out I had a tumor. Honestly the fact that you are most highly reccommended to perform this surgery doesn't shock me. It kind of rounds out my life. The moment I met your son my life has literally revolved around him, and the more it does it gets worse with every revolution.

Dr. Shakur: Ben you can't possibly tell me you are willing to let yourself die, or risk brain damage because of anger you feel toward Ricky. I know Ricky didn't make the best decisions when dealing with Amy, Adrian, or you, but this is your life Ben.

Ben: Yes it is, its the only thing I have that I can have control over. The only thing that Ricky can't really take from me or corrupt. He took Amy from me, before I even had her. He took John from me, before he was born. He took Adrian from me, and he didn't even want her. He took my dad from me, and he already had you. He is even taking my family's business from me, I don't even want that. He is even trying to take my daughter and mother from me, and their both dead. So I will hold on to everything that I have left that is mine. This tumor is mine (pointing to his head and getting emotional). It is the one thing he can't take from me. It is killing me every day, it makes it hard to read, to concentrate in school, to even sleep, but its mine. The only thing that your son can never take from me is my pain.

Dr. Shakur: Ben I know that you feel Ricky has wronged you in some way, but he never intended for any of this to happen.

Ben: I would say that Dr. Shakur if three years ago I wouldn't have asked him. Three years ago I asked him which did he want Amy or John, then he told me he wanted both. He told me that no matter what I did he would have Amy, John, and my dad on his side before I even said birth control. If I had taken him seriously I might not be here. But I was too over confident that my dad, or Amy would want someone so selfish and such a jerk. But I underestimated him. I didn't know he was much more intuitive than me. I always put my faith in people, I believed that people underneath were good, as my mom told me. But, that is a lie underneath people are selfish cruel, and concieted. Just like he was. I thought he was my friend when in truth, he was just making a fool out of me. One of the best tricks in the world was the devil fooling the world that he didn't exist. Thanks to your son I know that is true. He might not be the devil to the rest of the world, but he is mine. But, you don't believe in the devil do you.

Dr. Shakur: Ben I can assure you, that my son is no devil, and he does have good in him. Look at all he has done so far. He has come a long way. He works for your dad, and got a promotion. He's going to college, he is a great father to John. He is faithful to Amy. He is even friends with Adrian now. Why can't you and he overcome your differences?

Ben: Because he didn't sacrifice to have all of that I did. He wasn't made the laughing stock of school for dating the pregnant girl, or marrying the pregnant slut. I was. He wasn't the one who kids point and whisper about how his best friend got a car for fucking his wife I was. He isn't the one who girls want to date so they and thier boyfriends can get a free home, I am. That is why he can change Dr. Shakur. He didn't need to change, he just needed to evolve.

Dr. Shakur: (_looking at Ben and realizing his religion spoke of energy, and Ben had absorbed all the negative energy of Amy, Ricky, and Adrian. He was living in the darkness so they could live in the light. He couldn't help, but feel sorry for Ben_.) Ben, I'm sorry, but let me help you. It is the least I can do to repay you, or at least make up for all I you feel Ricky has done to you.

Ben: Thanks, Dr. Shakur. But, no thanks. Because I would rather be dead than live with the fact Ricky Underwood's dad saved my life. Knowing he could lord how pathetic I am over me with that. I couldn't live with myself. (gets up to leave.)

Dr. Shakur: Ben at least try and talk to someone about what you are going through. Your parents need to know. you know what it feels like to lose your child so suddenly. Don't let your father suffer the same fate. (Ben looks at Shakur and leaves.) Ricky my son. (he whispers) Why, couldn't you have been that strong?...

**BOYKEWICH ESTATE: 7:30 PM FRIDAY EVENING Leo, Camille, and Chloe are gathered in the den, for family game night. Ben instead of walking in with a board game, walks in with a file.**

Leo: What game is this pictionary.

Ben: No, its guess what I have.

Chloe: A folder?

Camille: Your report card? (jokingly)

Ben: No, Dad your turn.

Leo: I don't know, the college you want to got too?

Ben: No, let me give you a hint, its small, anyone can get them and no one wants them.

Leo: A bill.

Chloe: No, he said it was small, but then again no one wants a bill.

Camille: A dear John letter.

Ben: No, its something that you grow biologically.

Chloe: A zit, (joking)

Leo: Back hair. (laughing)

Camille: Height.

Ben: No, No, and no.

Leo: we give up, what do you have that is grown biologically, no one wants them, and anyone can get them.

Ben: A tumor.

Leo: Ben this is not funny. (remembering Sarah's sign of breast cancer.)

Ben: Dad, you of all people know, I'm not trying to be funny. (takes the file from behind his back and gives it to them.)

Chloe: (immediately recognizes the folder) Is that why you've been getting dizzy, and the nose bleeds.

Leo: Nose bleeds?...

Camille: Ben, how long have you known. When did this start to happen. (gets up from sofa, and rushes to her step son placing warm hands on his face, and crying.) I didn't do anything bad when I hit you did I? Scared of the answer.

Ben: No, I have had it for a while I just thought it was stress. Stress from Amy and her pregnancy. Adrian, and her pregnancy, Mercy dyding, the divorce. Henry, and Alice. I never really thought it was anything until my car accident. Its' benign not cancerous it is just in a very delicate place, and needs to be operated on. This is the file on what I know, and what you should know. (gives file to Camille)

Leo: (in shock and remembering Ben's mom) Ben your accident was months ago, and you've been keeping it from us this whole time.

Ben: Honestly Dad, I wouldn't have told you, but I really didn't want to put you through what I went through with Mercy.

Leo: Its that bad?...(Crying)

Chloe: Is there anything the doctors can do? When is your surgery?

Ben: I haven't scheduled it yet? Or chosen a doctor.

Leo: We should talk with Ricky's father, he can help he's a brain surgeon. (picks up the phone)

Ben: Don't Dad, (Places hand over the phone and puts it down.) He already knows, and he's given me a list of names.

Leo: He knows, why didn't he tell me, after all I have done for Ricky...(angrily)

Ben: Dad, he's bound by the hypocratic oath not too reveal anyone's PRIVATE MEDICAL INFORMATION with anyone eighteen and older. Otherwise he could lose his license. But, he is already the reason I am telling you now.

Leo: Son, why didn't you come to me, we could have done something.

Ben: Because I could handle it on my own.

Leo: What made you think that you could handle something like this on your own. Ben this is a serious problem

Ben: Yes, Dad and its my problem. I have managed to take care of it and handle it well enough for the past eight months.

Camille: Ben this says that Shakur was asked to perform your surgery, but you declined. (reading through his folder). It says that in your consultation with him, he reccommended you have the surgery immediately, to prevent any further complications.

Ben: I know. But, I don't want him to do the surgery. I have aleady spoken with a Dr. Franklyn Barrett of Britain, and he has agreed to look into my case.

Leo: Benjamen, if Shakur can help you why don't you let him.

Ben: You know why, Dad? (looking at his dad with hostility.)

Leo: No, I don't. Ben if you are sick then why won't you let Ricky's dad help you? (getting angry, and frustrated wit Ben.)

Ben: Because he's Ricky's Dad that's why! (yelling and angry.) I don't want to live my life knowing that I owe anything to that bastard. I have spent everyday since the day I met him, coming in second place, or not coming in at all. While he is praised for doing nothing. I cannot live the rest of my life while he is praised for saving it! (yells, gets a headache, and his nose starts to bleed.)

Camille: (sees that this argument is hurting both Ben and Leo. Goes to Ben and wipes blood from his nose.) Chloe help Ben upstairs Leo we need to talk. (looks angry and sad at Leo.)

Ben: I don't need Chloe's help, I can get up stairs on my own. (turns to leave.)

Chloe: Well I'll just walk with you then (looks sad, and scared for her brother, and the state of her new family)

Ben: I don't want anyone else to know. Not Henry/Alice. Adrian, especially Ricky/Amy. This is our family, our business and my problem.

Leo: Ben their your friends. They would want to know.

Ben: Why. So they can be there to help me.

Leo: Yes, they can be there to help you.

Ben: How, the same way they were all their for me every other time. No thanks. I have done much better without their...help.

Leo: Ben, do you have that much lack of faith in them.

Ben: Can you stand there and blame me, or are you so naive that you can't see.

Leo: See what Ben?

Ben: That they aren't my friends. Their yours, the only reason they even talk to me is because they wanted to meet the Sausage King, and they couldn't care less about me.

Leo: How can you say that about them, after everything all of you have been through together.

Ben: This tumor dad has done one thing, and its made me see that I went through everything on my own. No one went through anything with me. Dad, this is how I want it. That may be selfish, but under the circumstances. (looks angrily at Leo before Chloe takes his hand and leads him to the stairs

Leo: Ben...

Camille: Leo. If thats the way you want it Ben, then no one else will know. I promes

**As with previous stories have the song HOW TO SAVE A LIFE by THE FRAY** playing

_**Step one you say we need to talk**_  
_**He walks you say sit down it's just a talk**_  
_**He smiles politely back at you**_  
_**You stare politely right on through**_  
_**Some sort of window to your right**_  
_**As he goes left and you stay right**_  
_**Between the lines of fear and blame**_  
_**You begin to wonder why you came**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**Let him know that you know best**_  
_**Cause after all you do know best**_  
_**Try to slip past his defense**_  
_**Without granting innocence**_  
_**Lay down a list of what is wrong**_  
_**The things you've told him all along**_  
_**And pray to God he hears you**_  
_**And pray to God he hears you**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**As he begins to raise his voice**_  
_**You lower yours and grant him one last choice**_  
_**Drive until you lose the road**_  
_**Or break with the ones you've followed**_  
_**He will do one of two things**_  
_**He will admit to everything**_  
_**Or he'll say he's just not the same**_  
_**And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_  
_**How to save a life**_  
_**How to save a life**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**CHORUS:**_  
_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_  
_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_  
_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_  
_**Had I known how to save a life**_  
_**How to save a life**_


End file.
